1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

What do YOU do about annoying bandmates?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by lamborghini98, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. lamborghini98

    lamborghini98 The Aristocrats

    May 1, 2005
    NYC; Portland, OR
    Im in a band with some pretty annoying bandmates. My guitarist thinks he's God's gift to man and the pianist just lacks a brain sometimes. They keep me from doing what I want to do a lot, and its getting annoying. I cant even hear myself play and they just keep on turning my bass down. WW(Other bass players)D?

    Im not looking for advice... I just want to hear stories. I remember last year we had a gig in the rain (under a tiny tiny canopy) and the drummer just left for a long time after we were done, so we left his set out in the rain. On our way out we saw him coming back for it, so it didnt get destroyed. Its not like he would know if it got destroyed because he keeps it in school all year locked up in a closet somewhere. No, he doesnt practice.

    Oh yeah, and now for this year's musical thing (its a NYC thing called SING!) he threatened that he would take his set and go home if we tried out another drummer besides him. So what we were going to do was teach our trombonist the drums and have him play. Then, the night of the show, he wouldn't come and we'd go up to the drummer and ask him if he knows anyone who can play drums for us. Before he gets to say anything we grab someone from the audience and ask them to play.

    OOOOOOHHHH we hate him.:spit:
  2. I quit. I play to have fun, not put up with morons. That's what work is for.

  3. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    What he said, even though he incriminated himself. :p
  4. Jazzin'

    Jazzin' ...Bluesin' and Funkin'

    You masochist. Quit.
  5. steve21

    steve21 Banned

    My band is comprised of myself and my best friend. We don't argue.
  6. If a band isn't fun, you're missing the point.
    Screw em', if they wanna be jerks, then let them be bassless jerks.
  7. Kronos


    Dec 28, 2005
    Philadelphia, PA
    I'm lucky.

    I'm in a band with great guys. We're all really cool with eachother.

    My old band, we were all talking behind eachother's backs. I tried to keep the peace, but it didn't seem to work.
  8. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    I feel so weirded out, I've been in two bands, here have been there thoughts:

    Band #1: If the bass and the drums sound good, then the band sounds good.

    Band #2: We like it when bassists do the weedley weedley stuff. :D

    I did try out for one ego band, the singer/songwriter thought he was Kurt Cobain... needless to say, my interest of working with them QUICKLY fizzled.

  9. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    Make them the butt of my cruel comments and jokes in front of the fans. No, it doesn't solve anything, but I get to try out some of my great material! It's great to see him act like a stud around everyone else, but tread lightly around me. :hyper:
  10. I like the dynamic I have with my band. They let me do whatever I want, as long as I don't completely overpower the vocals. We are a three piece, so I am allowed to get a little bit crazier, but tastefully crazier. It works well since none of us have big egos. All ideas are at least tried before being rejected. And I got paid a pretty good compliment at our show on friday, how the volume and all the bass work perfectly compliments the songs without standing out too much(unless it is supposed to). For example, one song which is pretty simple(except for vocally) I get to play a cool melody in between vocals, and then lock in with the drums when there are vocals. No one else is gunna do it so it falls to me, which works well for the song and everyone is happy with it. We all seem to take it for granted, but it gets put into perspective for all of us when we hear horror stories. Yes we do have disagreements sometimes about how big of a tempo change we should make, or how some parts are either dragging the song or something like that, but we have a lot of material to work with and gig with so that we can figure the parts out without having to worry about getting it ready for the next gig. I love my band :)
  11. BassChuck


    Nov 15, 2005
    The band I'm playing with now is made up of older men and women (11 pieces). Everyone has done what they've wanted to do with music. No one is pretty and no one is going to get famous. All have been with many bands, recording, you name it. Some have had several wives. Some have toured and recorded with famous performers. All have played music all our lives.

    In short, even if we aren't the best of friends, we know the value of getting along with band mates. I'd rather play a song I hate if it means someone in the band feels better about the group. They'll do the same for me, because its not really about what music we play, its about playing music and communicating with the audience. People come to dance to our music. If they won't dance to a tune, its off the set list, that the acid test.

    Part (a large part) of your job as a band musician is to get along with the people in your band. If you are with people who are difficult to deal with... accept this as a time to practice getting along, the skill will pay you well in the future. Don't make problems, solve them. And, if you need to, quietly look for another group and help the old band find a replacement.

    There's no percentage in going through life being pissed off all the time.
  12. What do I do about the annoying bandmate? Why, nothing, for I AM the annoying bandmate.
  13. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    Good Lord, honey! Quit! Find funner people to play with.

    I am actually considering *not* joining a band because of the annoying guitarist. He's 17, which is fine. But he's already got an ego that he needs a wheelbarrow to carry around, and he thinks he is the love child of Steve Vai and Zak Wylde. (Neither of whom impress me very much...just a bunch of wheedle-dee-wheedle-dee...boring.)

    He plays every note of every song as if it were a lead. He does not know how to serve the song, nor does he act like he wants to. He just serves himself. When we've jammed, and we play a song he does not know, or does not like, he just goes off on his own tangent and pushes that until everyone follows him. And I ticked him off on Saturday night, because I refused to follow him. He was destroying a song I was trying to teach everyone...it was my ruttin' turn to bring something, and he just blew me off. When he started in on me for not following him, I told him, "YOU need to learn to play SONG, not force your leads on everyone!" Then I handed the bass to someone else, before I hit the little shik.

    Guitarists fall all over themselves for him..."Oh, he's so goood! Did you hear his wheedle-dees? He is so fast!"

    Cha...like, dude...I don't *care*. The boy can't get through a song.

    So, I told the leader: If you want me to play in your band, you will get a freakin' leash for that kid. If he crosses me, I *will* tell him off! I don't care if he can play *fast*. I care that is willing to learn some song craft, and some manners. If he can't or won't, I *will* walk.

    That's how I treat annoying bandmates. Yeah...I'm ruthless. Sweet, but ruthless. Been burned too many times not to be.

  14. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    I think I have been rather fortunate with bandmates over the years. Part of it is because I play with lifelong friends. On one occasion, our singer talked us into letting this guy play guitar with us.

    He was a dork. After about an hour I just looked at him and said it was time for him to leave. The singer blew a fuse on me. So I extended the same offer to him. They both walked out together, and the singer returned about an hour later.

  15. I've usually put up with them until I couldn't take it, then had a talk, then eventually quit because people don't really seem to change in that regard.

    If, for example, the guitarist can't seem to accept that all songs are not simply vehicles for guitar solos, he is not likely to change. Until he gets older anyway, and maybe not even then.

    I work with someone like that. I haven't heard him play, but I believe he is technically very proficient. Unfortunately for him, he is still stuck in the 17 yr old mindset of blazing guitar solos and everything else "sucks." Except he's more like 35, not 17.

    Explains why he's not in a band...
  16. RLT


    Jul 10, 2004
    South Central OH
  17. SteveC

    SteveC Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 12, 2004
    North Dakota
    I think I am the annoying one. I don't like the music we are doing any more. Much different than when started. I think I'll probably have to quit before it gets ugly. I like the guys and don't want to make a big deal of it. I'll try to find other like-minded people.
    Chriske22 likes this.
  18. JJBluegrasser

    JJBluegrasser Wannabe Snazzy Dresser

    Apr 17, 2003
    USA, Raleigh, NC
    HA. This is a funny thread. The band I've played with for 3 years is the most disfunctional thing on earth. We have more attitude than a biker bar. But we're really good. We b**** and moan, and get drunk and piss people off and piss each other off. 1 guy doesn't do anything but show up and make money and talk trash. We've had interventions and more 'talks' than I can count.

    But I love 'em all most of the time. And when we're on stage...it's freakin' magic. I swear. Sometimes it's worth it.

    Chriske22 likes this.
  19. The moment somebody comes over and starts fiddling with my settings is the moment I blow up at them. If you dislike what another member is doing musically, you ask them if they would mind trying something different. You don't go over and start putzing with their equipment. I know what it's like dealing with morons. My band made the mistake of putting up with two for 4 years, but we finally wised up. You gotta be firm with those people, even if it means losing them. In the long run, it'll take less time to make new friends and get musically familiar with them than it will to deal with unappreciatve idiots.
  20. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    <<<The moment somebody comes over and starts fiddling with my settings is the moment I blow up at them.>>>

    Yeah, that's a real good way to make me come completely unwelded. I would not *dream* of touching someone else's settings! I will ask them to make a change if I think it needs one, but *never* would I touch their stuff, and I expect treatment in kind.

    A woman in my old band used to drive me NUTS with that. She'd adjust my amp...just walk up and mess with it. She would come up and mess with the knobs on my bass (and other people's guitars)...IN THE MIDDLE OF A PERFORMANCE! She would also chide us for errors...in the mic.

    She tried that mess-with-cherie's-knobs thing one night, and I had had it. I put my back to her. She reached around, and I whipped around 180 degrees, keeping her hands off my bass. This was in front of a crowd. She kept trying, and I kept avoiding her.

    She got mad and told me that I should not have done that at a performance. My retort..."No, honey. You should not mess with people's settings, or that is what you will get."

    "unappreciative idiots" is dead-bang on.