I've been a professional musician for over 5 years. Earned a living for my family during the mortgage crisis playing bass. I loved it. I made so many contacts. I was playing out every weekend, sometimes with other bands that I have never gigged with as a fill in, no practice. I gathered a bunch of industry recommendations, gathered countless fans (so it seemed) and was able to fill my week playing bass. JUST PLAYING! Over the years, I suffered from an unknown silent disease that wreaked havoc in my life. Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. The worst symptoms I have had have been the psychological ones, and this has caused people to shun me publically. I am no longer allowed to play on stage at a gig that I had every week for the last 5 years; I mean I show up to play and I'm told to leave. I've lost countless friends. I've lost all my contacts. I've actually lost interest in playing bass, even throughout treatment. Not to mention the weight loss inability, I am fat and stuck fat and I have never been able to exercise. I face heart disease, type 1 diabetes and other autoimmune diseases because of this in life. Everyone wants to see me get well so they say, but nobody is standing in my corner except my kids and wife. I have quit playing bass all together. All my gear is for sale considering I have no job now. No gigs, no reason to play bass. my daughter has a squire I can borrow.. no need for my bass and amp. I cannot see myself ever in the same room with these people. I feel like an outlaw underground idiot. I've unfriended people on facebook for their criticism of me publicly. I've unfriended all those who will not gig with me anymore or who have specifically lied about why they dont book me anymore. I've lost so much.... And one person here on talkbass probably has taken all my gigs, so talking about this here; is it even safe?!? that person lies all the time to cover up; like he has had my gigs longer than I have? I guess having a degree from MSU makes you worth poopie in town and me... WORTHLESS.. To top it off, my therapist has quit me as a patient. She moved to her own practice and by contract she had to remove me from her patient list so the BUSINESS she worked for could treat me. If she treats me as a patient she will be sued by the practice she used to work for. I have no choice because of the practice rules that I agreed to even though this Is CLEARLY MALPRACTICE. I've been through 3 therapists there, and she was the only one who could break through. Now I'm supposed to take back the one who ignored me? I can't even consider using them anymore. F'k Lansing Psychological Associates. Worthless unless you need testimony in court or a golf pro for the weekend. I've been lost. I've been suicidal. Thankfully, I've found the Hashimoto's and I know that this can possibly be controlled with T4 replacement Levothyroxine. But... I have no relief yet. and i've lost all my friends. Nobody wants to gig with me. I've been fired from a prominent band in town that had to change names and restructure just to get rid of me for my mental issues. I lost my job over my mental issues. I lost 12 friends, and honestly I would rather not contact any more in case I loose anymore. I've basically ruined my life over the portion of a year while my TPO was 1588, TSH was 58, and T4 was .5, and no T3 Free. B12 was critically low. I feel so lost. I was trying to sell all my gear but nobody wants to buy it. Fearful 15/6 for $425? Nope.. Not even a pf-500 for $150. Nobody will take my pickups, bass body, neck. Nothing. I'm stuck.. I am 3 weeks away from being off unemployment and 2 months from homelessness. My wife is working full time and about to loose her diability becase she makes too mnuch now... My kids will looose insurance then. The state just pulled food stamps from us as well. I cannot tell you how bad it iss. Pray for me. I've been told to check myself into the hospital for an outpatient therapy program with the state mental health dept.... I'm scared to. The label. The stigma.. HOW THE HELL DID I BECOME SO WORTHLESS?????