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What do you guys think?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by FloatingHogs, Sep 29, 2013.

  1. I know you guys see a lot (and i mean a lot) of threads like these, but i really need some advice on this.

    So i'm in a hard rock band, we're a trio, we play all originals, yadda yadda, drummer, guitarist, bassist/singer. Me and the drummer are in middle school, the guitarist is two years older and in high school. We started in February, and over the summer we've had a lot of success and we're rapidly gaining popularity. But lately the drummer has been really unreliable; he won't allow us to practice, and we haven't in over a month now. Its not always just because he doesn't want to, sometimes its because he's busy (sometimes the usage of the word "busy" however deserves heavy air quotes) and sometimes its because of his parents, who for whatever reason won't let us practice twice a week. This isn't his fault, but really it doesn't matter if it is, all that matters is he just can't practice. This also really baffles me because our guitarist is always busy; he has marching band practice on thursday and tuesday every week and his weekends are usually cluttered, yet the drummer doesn't do any extra-curricular activities and as far as i know does nothing all day except play video games or drums. And yet the guitarist is still way more eager to practice than him.

    Its also not just practice, he's been kind of an ***hole lately too. He's gotten increasingly big-headed with the popularity (and chicks) that comes with being in a band that plays regularly at school events. I've heard other friends complain about it too, including the guitarist, so i'm pretty sure it's not just me. On the band side of things as well i'm pretty sure he's convinced that he's the most important person in the band; he thinks he's the leader (which i'd prefer if it didn't turn into that kind of band anyway) and founder, even though it was me who asked if him if he wanted to join the band, which was practically a different band at that point anyway, i was the only member in it thats in the current one. And, if you ask me, he's the member who contributes the least; sure, we practice at his place a lot (at least, over a month ago), but we practiced at the guitarist's mobile home (aka the "recording studio") as well. Other than that, i've written every song except for one by the guitarist, and the guitarist provides most of the equipment. All he does is play drums... often while me and the guitarist are trying to have a conversation.

    To put all that into question: what do you guys think, should we kick him out? We already have a replacement in mind that would be happy to join, so finding another percussionist is not a problem. A thing i'm worried about however is that he's the 'popular guy' in the band and a lot of the audience likes us simply because he's in it; kicking him out might lose a portion of the audience and maybe anger a lot of people (also i'm worried about him going into a facebook tizzy-fit). I want a more mature and dedicated person.

    So what do you think?

    btw, sorry for the huge post
  2. Bring it to him straight - tell him about your concerns and talk it out. Don't be afraid to have a serious conversation.
  3. mikegug


    Oct 31, 2011
    I agree with this. There are enough forces outside a band that are likley to break it up. Internal forces should be brought to zero ASAP.

    Don't be afraid to have a meeting to discuss. As uncomfortable as they may be, they produce results many times. Either they get everyone on track or they start members thinking about leaving sooner than they would have otherwise.

    Rock on! :bassist: :D
  4. +1. ^^^ This.

    Also - No, don’t kick him out. Unfortunately this is all to typical. Instead, just get a second drummer so you have two drummers you can call on (first discuss it with him) - and don’t be surprised if he becomes more available, or not - but either way, you'll still be covered and without having to kick him out. ;)
  5. IPYF


    Mar 31, 2011
    I agree. Find out why he's not available to practice and go from there. At your age a lot of things change very rapidly, and you have a lot of things competing for your attention.

    Perhaps your drummer is growing in a different direction to you, perhaps he hasn't noticed he's being unreasonable or slouchy, maybe he's getting pressure from his family or somewhere else that's making him behave like this. You need to have a proper conversation to find out before you do anything else.

    If he's just using you guys to feed his popularity complex then you should be able to identify that. I'd try and work it out rather than firing him or going in a different direction. I regret a lot of the snap decisions I made as a young person, through passion or anger, and wish I could have a do-over for a lot of them. Being hasty is never a good idea when you're growing up.
  6. nojj

    nojj Guest

    May 20, 2013
    If you're expecting to practice 2x@week at his parents house,
    they must have the patience of a saint.
    Might be a matter of 'their house, their rules'
  7. Ender_rpm


    Apr 18, 2004
    St. Louis MO
    This. A lot. Even if his parents are musical themselves, 3 teenaged boys playing hard rock in their basement/garage isn't exactly a key to a relaxing evening :) Maybe see if rotating venues is possible?
  8. Before you consider kicking him out, you'll probably want to see if the other drummer would be more available for practice and/or will something similar happen. Your original drummer may have been told no more practices or no more practices until he does xxx and he may be covering it up with 'I don't feel like it'.
  9. Herrick


    Jul 21, 2010
    Munchkin Land
    Talk to him to see how serious he is about staying in the band. If he's not into it anymore (which sounds like it from your post) then part ways.
  10. hsech

    hsech Work hard. My Social Security needs a raise.

    Jun 27, 2012
    Central Iowa
    The patience of parents sometimes runs a little thin. If you could use small amps, keep the volume down for practice it may go a long way. Find a different place to practice. It could be the drummers grades are below par and his parents are rationing his time for him. I hesitate to say this, but it could even be the parents don't care for you and the guitar player and would rather their son associate with someone else.

    I'm not trying to be a smart as&, but we went through a problem with some of our son's friends while he was in high school in a rock band.

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