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what do you say to insult a guitarist

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by azeng808, Apr 9, 2006.

  1. azeng808


    Dec 12, 2004
    I ahve this friend (who sucks ass at guitar IMO) who always talks smack about the bass, like Its such a newb instrument, you can't even hear it, etc. SO what can I say to turn those insults around towards him? Bear in mind he sucks at what he does.
  2. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    Tell him his manhood is very, very tiny.
  3. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    If instruments could do gay porn, guitars would spent alot of its time on its belly. BTW, you seem to like laying on your stomach. Is there something you need to tell me? :bag:

    Easy, huh? Yeah, I can see that. Your mom found me easy to use too.
  4. Beautiful Woodchuck. I was wondering what kinds of things people would say, didn't expect something like that. I'd best grab a pen and start writing...I can use that.
  5. Best thing you could say is, "Find another basssist."

    That'll hit'em where it hurts, trust me.
  6. tell em to f***** off. i dont even bother with great comebacks cause most of the time talking to the person that said that to you is pretty much a waste of time.
  7. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    Get friends that aren't so lame.
  8. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
  9. simpy1


    Mar 31, 2005
    New Zealand
    Tell him if he doesn't stop talking you'll play the 'brown note'.

    Find the biggest bass amp you can, take it outside his window, crank it and hit a low B. SOMETHING's gotta fall off shelves.

    Usually a 'your mom was easy' type comeback works a charm, works even better if he has a sister in my experience.
  10. Throw a lead sheet in front of him and say "lets play this".

  11. If he doesn't understand the relevence of bass, He either needs to give up playing his guitar badly or get educated quickly.
    Either way, don't wait for him.
  12. dharma

    dharma Srubby wubbly

    Oct 14, 2005
    Monroe, Louisiana
    I find the "what-are-you-smoking?" look much more effective than words could ever be.

    If he's empathetic, he'll pick up what you're trying to communicate and then try to justify his comments some more.

    Apply the "what-are-you-smoking?" look again with gusto.
  13. ras1983


    Dec 28, 2004
    Sydney, Australia
    thats the post i was waiting for. works like a charm for 95% of guitarists.

    then ask if he can solo on anything other than a minor pentatonic scale.
  14. nonohmic

    nonohmic Supporting Member

    Dec 13, 2005
    ABQ, NM.
    Tell him you'd rather eat a glass sandwich than listen to his crappy playing for one more note.
  15. IanStephenson

    IanStephenson UnRegistered User

    Apr 8, 2006
    You should bring your big amp next time, so you'll be able to get a decent sound...
  16. Kasper007


    Feb 9, 2006
    Give him your bass and let him try a few things. In my experience guitarists have loooots of trouble on bass

  17. The funny thing about 95% of guitarists playing bass is that they actually sound like guitarists playing bass.
  18. spectorbass83


    Jun 6, 2005
    Me neither..I was expecting the kid in the video to suck...please explain.
  19. fr0me0


    Dec 7, 2004
    Winnipeg Canada
    tell him the ocean called its running out of ****ty guitar players.

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