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What happend to the UGLY bass competition?

Discussion in 'Basses [DB]' started by Limezone, Oct 8, 2001.


  1. I was getting excited about seeing some really ugly american basses...

    Still getting your film developed? I'll do the scanning! no excuses now; chop-chop...
     
  2. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    John Turner has the pics...we're waiting for his life to get less complicated so he'll have time to post them. When you stop to consider that he Moderates TOYBASS OFF TOPIC and there are fiercely contested arguments to be dealt with about what to name your strap, WEAR 2 GET UR TABS, what color to dye your nostril hair (not to mention the war going on), it might not be anytime soon.

    We can but hope.
     
  3. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    am i holding this up...geeze, yeah, i guess i am. sorry guys. i'm on it tomorrow.

    man, do you have any idea how much wedding invitations cost? :eek: barbie and i've been looking the past few days.

    anyway, enough complaining/excuses.

    the plan is that i'll have don's page and chris's page up tomorrow some time (at least, that's the plan :rolleyes: ;) ) and then you guys can look at your own pages first, see that everything is in order, and then i'll send links to all hail and TOFU NUTS and i, and we'll vote. then we'll proceed from there.
     
  4. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    AL/GA
    Hey John, I just increased my web space quite a bit. I know how the wedding thing can eat your day up....if I can help you out with this let me know....(the pics pages, not the wedding!)

    ....and YES...I know how much wedding invitations cost. That's why we didn't invite anybody! :D
     
  5. Thanks, I know you guys have lives. Get to it when you can. We're not going anywhere.

    Chris brings up a good point though; should the color of my nostril hair contrast or compliment the color of my strap?:p
     
  6. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    well, it depends, are you going to attach the strap to the neck or the body? if you attach the strap to the back of the neck, preferably around the octave, then present style rules dictate that the strap contrast with the sepia tones of the player's skin in such a way as to reinforce the flowing lines of player and instrument into a seemless simulacrum of a mating ostrich with learning disabilities.

    if connected to the body, then black or brown will do nicely.
     
  7. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    Another possibility that's really got me flummoxed is the following: What if you attach your strap to your nostril hairs? The first part is easy - of COURSE in this case they should be the same color. BUT...what do you do about names in this case? Should your nostril hairs and strap be given a SINGLE name when you do this, or should they each retain their previous moniker? Also, should one name one's nostril hairs collectively, or should they all have the same surname but different nicknames?

    So many questions, so little time (...sigh...:( )
     
  8. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    there again, one can not forget the contributions made to the art and science of strap-making from the small tribe of tibetan yak herders known as the Pan-To. for centuries their fine weavings of virgin yak nostril hair have adorned the straps and undergarments of kings, shahs and various upper government officials of stature, taste, and means.

    their finest offerings incorporate weavings of the future owner's own nostril hairs, obviating the need for any mounting and conecting devices.

    the chartreuse and sepia hues of such a well-made support contrivance cry out fashion and taste, and, although are often imitated by various korean and chinese factories, can't be duplicated by modern manufacturing techniques.

    truly the mark of good breeding, elegance and class, a custom Pan-To Nose-strap is a sought after item by many of the finer musicians "in-the-know". i have 7 myself, including the pride of my collection, a triple-flamed melted-hair strap, featuring the natural colorings and contrasts of the yak, the wild tibetan slug-boar and the fierce southern asiatic water weasel. the chartreuse of the yak hair contrasts wonderfully with the dark indigo of the slug-boar's nostril fibers and the bright cadmium tones of those rare and fiesty water weasels.

    i deal directly with Khan Lin, in tibet, a true artisan and skilled nostril hair weaver without peer. any interested parties can feel free to contact me via email and i can hook you up.

    they've done wonders for my allergies, too.
     
  9. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY

    Wow! What did you name it?
     
  10. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    i call all my straps "sir" or "ma'am" depending upon each's peculiar predilection. after all, proper respect shown towards one's strap helps maintain a secure relationship.
     
  11. Bass Guitar

    Bass Guitar Supporting Member

    Aug 13, 2001
    I had my wedding close to one year ago, and we had 700 guests to our wedding, and invited 500 of them to our reception!!! Not my idea, my wife's family alone invited 200 guests... I wanted to have a small wedding of 100 people, but circumstances would have it that we would have a massive one. It was fun, but by golly, it was a crazy day! :)

    As for wedding invites, my father used to be a printer by trade, and he got us custom made wedding invites for free - that may be an option if you know someone who prints.