What is your significant other's attitude towards your bass playing?...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Claymore, Dec 16, 2020.

  1. Supportive

  2. Indifferent

  3. Hostile

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Claymore


    Nov 10, 2019
    Rhode Island
    An informal poll to see how much support, or lack of, most of us are getting at home. Just to clarify the poll boundaries...

    Supportive could be anything from "Play me something, honey" to expressing a sincere interest in basses you like or the music you're listening to or just sharing your enthusiasm for bass in general. :)

    Indifferent would be like "That's nice, dear" (said with glazed expression while surfing the internet) and just a general whatever, I don't care sort of attitude. :yawn:

    Hostile could be something as subtle as rolling their eyes when you say you're going to practice all the way to throwing dishes at you and everything in between. :mad:
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2020
  2. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Gold Supporting Member

    my wife cares about my music because i care about it. she goes to some of the 'big shows' but has stopped attending the little stuff...long ago. music is my thing, not hers. she'd be supportive if i needed support. she accepts that i'm a musician even though she deserves a dentist...or an amazon delivery driver. she thinks i'm talented but she would like it more if i won the lottery.

    i voted "indifferent." :D
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2020
  3. She used to be hostile, but we've both grown a lot along our little journey together and now she alternates between supportive and irritated. I chose indifferent.
    sawzalot, El_Charro, Winton and 7 others like this.
  4. CallMeAl


    Dec 2, 2016
    Ithaca Ny
    She may not understand my revolving door of basses, amps and strings; but she definitely supports music as a hobby. She’s a musician too- trumpet and a little piano. She took a shine to the bass herself, and even encouraged our purchase of a double bass (long gone, sold for a move) and an acoustic bass (still got that one.)
  5. dalkowski

    dalkowski It's "rout," not "route." Supporting Member

    May 20, 2009
    Massachusetts USofA
    Missus ranges from a degree or two north of indifferent to supportive (esp. when I was rehearsing and gigging on the reg). High point was the night after a gig some years back when she purred to me, "I brought home the bass player." Dim the lights, you can guess the rest.

    To her great credit, she does respect and appreciate its importance in my life.
  6. Oddly


    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    Voted indifferent, but in reality uncomprehending would be more accurate.
    She's never appreciated music at all, whether it's me playing it, or anyone else.
    I reckon she tolerates my interest, as it's a relatively harmless and cheap one.
  7. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Supporting Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    Left a woman it part because she was borderline hostile towards my music. I don’t need that negativity in my life.
  8. ahadl2500

    ahadl2500 Supporting Member

    Nov 28, 2003
    Greenwood, IN
    Dated a girl for a year and a half who asked if I would give up making music for her. She had no interest in me actually quitting. She just wanted to be more important to me than music... she was not. ... dumped her.

    Been with my wife for 15 years. She does everything she can to make sure I keep making music. She also makes something for me to put in every guitar case when I get a new one. I have always kept meaningful small items that were given to me in my cases (handmade bracelets, small fabric crafts, paper cranes). She understands me.
  9. joelns


    Mar 10, 2014
    Super supportive. She's encouraging me to drop a bundle on a new amp and a couple of cabs. By bundle, enough to cover something like a little more than 2 mortgage payments.

    On top of that, she bought me a MXR Chorus pedal for an early Christmas gift.
  10. Killed_by_Death

    Killed_by_Death Snaggletooth Inactive

    Timmah, FourString77, Unmost and 21 others like this.
  11. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Supportive for sure. When we met in 1986 booking for some clubs. Never booked anything for me though!
    But now she's just completed a PhD so we're pretty supportive all around.
    I'd like to be able to be louder (a lot louder) but she's usually on meetings so I wait until she's off camera before I practice plugged in. Or I suffer through headphones, just not as fun. But totally cool if I want a new bass or gear or pedal, whatever. I let her in on the process of a Mod Shop (in production), she helped pick the color. That's pretty supportive. She walked by the other day when I was noodling on fretless and said "wow, you've got some new pedals, what's the red one?" We both have pretty broad musical tastes. Maybe if shows happen again I know she'd be there. She put up with many years of dating and being married to a bass player on the road or playing 4-5 nights a week and never killed me or even lit me on fire. So yeah, keeper.

    She does ask me if I'm "gonna wear that" which is how I learned not to wear dumb sneakers or Jaco hats on stage. I can't ask her if she's gonna wear that.
  12. "Why don't you play any songs?"

    I play bits & pieces and try out improv runs all the time (with varying success). If I played bassline to a song from start to finish she would still say this. I tried to explain parts without even mentioning frequencies that each instrument lives in.
  13. bikeplate

    bikeplate Supporting Member

    Jun 7, 2001
    Upstate NY
    I was full time playing when we met 10 years back. She gets it.
  14. Bent77


    Mar 6, 2013
    Desert, Colorado
    Mine told me to buy an SVT
    6tzguy, marchone, Need Gigs and 14 others like this.
  15. bass12

    bass12 Have You Met Grace Jones? Supporting Member

    Jun 8, 2008
    Montreal, Canada
    My partner loves that I’m a bass player. She’ll listen to me practising the head to “Confirmation” (or whatever song I’m working on) over and over and later I’ll catch her singing it note-for-note. She also loves visiting music stores/luthiers with me and will be the first one to say, “You should get it!” when I find a bass I like. I feel blessed! :D
  16. gln1955

    gln1955 Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2014
    Ohio, USA
    My wife is supportive in that she knows how much making music means to me. She's never criticized how much time or money I spend. She comes to gigs, but not all, even though she doesn't really like the music I play.
    BassToGoGo and DWBass like this.
  17. "Its better than you going to the bar every night."
  18. Element Zero

    Element Zero Supporting Member

    Dec 14, 2016
    Well my wife is a player too so she gets it. Although she hasn’t played much in the past 5 months since her belly has been growing with another baby boy.

    Hopefully next year if COVID calms down and live music starts happening in our neck of the woods (major metropolitan area), both our bands can get back to playin loud again.
    Thibby, Sixgunn, Annette and 4 others like this.
  19. fdeck

    fdeck Supporting Member Commercial User

    Mar 20, 2004
    Madison WI
    HPF Technology LLC
    I thought playing music was the same as going to the bar every night. ;)
    Need Gigs, pcake, Sixgunn and 5 others like this.
  20. fourstringdrums

    fourstringdrums Decidedly Indecisive Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2002
    My ex wife resented me for money spent and started to look at me playing music as just dollar signs and not because it made me happy. My gf now isn't a musician but she's supportive. Whenever I buy something she just says "I just don't want you to be stressed about the money later" lol
    OldCoupeTom and JeezyMcNuggles like this.