Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

What reaons can I give for her to get tested?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Bob Clayton, Mar 20, 2004.


  1. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    Here's the deal, there is this girl that is one of my really close friends, I recently found out that when she has sex, she doesn't like to use any protection. There are alot of STDs walking around in my school, and I know she has been with atleast 4 guys unprotected (No she's not just a random "easy girl", all of the guys were her boyfriends of atleast 4 months at the time). Needledd to say, I am concerned about her well-being since anything is possible. I have told her she should get tested just to be sure, but she is against it. She says she doesn't have anything.

    I know that doesn't mean anything, you can have something and not know about it. What I wanna know is if anyone knows of some statisitcal information that might sway her towards getting tested, or any other good arguements towards it, or even some personal stories if anyone has any. Anything would help helpful.

    Thanks Guys.
     
  2. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Tell her to get tested or her naughty bits will turn on her irrevocably.
     
  3. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Go with her, get both of you tested at the same time. Tell her it's for her own safety and protection. That'll be the truth, right? Most women appreciate a guy that'll look out for her interests. And testing isn't 100 percent accurate, and there's usually a (short) waiting period. If the two of you can't wait, use one of those "condoms made especially for her pleasure". Having sex without protection is a risky move in today's world.
     
  4. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    I would gladly go with her to get tested, I would get tested myself. We aren't having sex, so I don't have to worry about getting those condoms. And yes, having unprotected sex in this today's world is a very, very dangerous practice


    Brendan- I need a bigger vocabulary, I had to look that word up.. :oops: :)
     
  5. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    A good reason?

    Google STDs and you will find sites with facts and <b>images</b> that will scare the poop out of anyone.

    Peace
    Nick
     
  6. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses, Hipshot products
    i understand your concern, but quite frankly - it's not your business. you could tell her you're really concerned about her and that you would really like if she got tested, because you care - but beyond that it really isn't any of your business. she's going to do what she wants and probably only wind up resenting you.

    i believe that the only way you can successfully help someone is

    a - if they need help
    b - if they want help
    c - if they ask YOU to help them
     
  7. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    ummm.....yeah....I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that one sport.

    She sounds pretty easy to me. How old is she? 17-18? Four boyfriends she has had sex with already? That's doorknob material bro.

    -Mike
     
  8. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    That's perfectly normal MJ, doorknob or village bicycle is another league entirely. Unless you're together with her, clay, it's not your business IMO.
     
  9. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    I think she does need help if there are a known amount of STDs around the school.

    Google some info and you'll find that a lot of the time you dont see any symptoms of an STD for a long time. Find some info and let her know whats up. Remind her that if she's having any kind of sexual contact there is a risk of infection. Also remind her that she could be giving these diseases to other people that she cares about.

    Peace
    Nick
     
  10. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    Hands down the best source for std statistics is the Center for Disease Control website.

    www.cdc.gov

    Something like 1 in 5 adults in America (I want to say that's over the age of 15 but it's been a while since I ran over the stats) have herpes.

    brad cook
     
  11. Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Okay, I know the village bicycle one. But doorknob? That's a new one for me. I get it from context. but I don't get the reference. PM me if it's not TB acceptable.
     
  12. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Everyone gets a turn.
     
  13. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    we will be together soon...

    there are some STDs walking the school (HIV included)

    and to the people think she is being "whore-ish"... would you still say that if it was a guy?
     
  14. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    To quote the "Man", Kool Moe Dee......"a guy with a hundred girls is a hero, a girl with a hundred guys is zero...don't blame me for society, cuz I'm a playa".

    Btw...I would say yes.

    -Mike
     
  15. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan

    Pfft. No. Of course not. Why would you even ask that?
     
  16. I have to agree that you've done the right thing by telling her how you feel and that you're concerned, but anything more is not going to help your friendship. It’s up to you whether you risk losing your friendship to push her into this. That is not to say that your concern is in anyway unjust. I have somewhat similar concerns for one of my female-friends, but there comes a point in which you know that you're not going to change their minds.

    However, if you are looking to be together, that’s a different story. Whie you can't force her to do anything, I don't think that you should put yourself in any sort of position without knowing what you're getting yourself into. If she wants any sort of sexual relationship with you then she should get checked out so that you don't have to be paranoid. I know I would be in the same situation.

    So, what can you do to try and get her to see your side of things? Well, a few persuasive psychological techniques could help you out here. One of the best things to do is scare her. Medium levels of fear will cause her to reassess her attitude to things. Studies have shown that when men are more knowledgeable on a particular topic, women are far more inclined to be persuaded. Simple here - read up on the topic and the potential problems. Make sure the realities are known, but not to the extent that she is going to be terrified. Let her know of the facts involved, as well as your feelings about the situation. If you don't let her know how it makes you feel and about your concern for both of your health, then it won't have the same impact as just throwing information at her. If you want her to critically view both sides then you should probably write this all out via an email or something like. People are far more inclined to consider something requiring deep thought if you present it to her in a format in which she will be able to analyse and comprehend it at her own pace.

    Remember, it is her body. While you can tell her about the facts and your opinions persuasively, you can't expect her to do what you say. It’s up to you whether you choose to pursue a relationship with her if she still chooses not to. That’s your only decision to make in this situation.

    Hope it all works out.

    [k]
     
  17. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    You kinda answered your own question. Do it when you are together, before the first intercourse. Not sooner, or else she might perceive it as some kind of intrusion.
     
  18. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Dude, have you ever seen someone in the terminal stages of HIV? It's not a pretty sight, trust me on that one. One quick trip to the hospital is all it would take to make someone think twice about the consequences of unprotected sex.

    Well, if you're thinking about getting together (I was guessing that's why you asked), the direct approach is the only way. Anything else (fear tactics and etc) would demonstrate a less than honest and caring interest.

    On the other hand, if you're thinking more along the lines of a "platonic" friendship, there are many ways to introduce the reality. The library comes to mind (Journal of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, that kind of thing). A picture is worth a thousand words, and graphics often succeed where logic fails.
     
  19. ChildoftheKorn

    ChildoftheKorn

    May 21, 2003
    IL
    dude, tell them to keep it in the pants or wrap it up, whats wrong with kids over there
    :bag:
     
  20. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Yeah actually, if you two do get frisky, remember to wrap it up either way.

    Sometimes things dont show up in test even though they are there.

    Peace
    Nick