What To Do When A Band Member Dies?

I would just take a break, give it some time. Then get the group together and see if you all want to move on collectively.

 

So sorry for your loss. I would talk with the others after he is laid to rest and go from there.

 

My condolences for the loss of your friend. Don't make any decisions this month. Give it some time. It's too early to decide that question.

 

Sorry man. I know you're in a bad place right now. Forget about the band for the time being and take care of other business. Everything will sort itself out.

 

Man, I am so sorry for your loss.

I would suggest you hold off on making any decisions (as everyone else is saying) - and allow the grieving process to do it's thing.

Again - I'm sorry, man. That's really hard news.

 

I know a band that went through that (keyboardist was killed in a hit & run while riding his bike). They kept going although I know it had to be hard!

I say if your band is a good band, take some time off and regroup after some grieving time.

 

Sorry to hear, my condolences to all!!!

Firstly, the band is about the last thing any of you need to be thinking about right now! However, if you have any upcoming bookings then yes you need to make a few decisions as to cancelling and finding somebody to replace you. After that(and I mean waiting at least a few weeks for everyone to grieve and collect their thoughts) should you bring up how to proceed forward.

 

Definitely need to take a break. I'm very sorry for your lose. I lost a very good friend a few years ago and the best advice I ever got was to, Look back but Don't stare.

I hope you keep his memory alive through music.

 

Sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some tranquility in the turmoil of the moment. I'll echo the "take a break and regroup later to decide" sentiments. Right now isn't the time for making decisions it's a time to grieve the loss of your friend.

Peace.

 

My condolences..
The best thing at time sit to just take time so you can do it with a clear head if you wanted to continue the band..

 

Condolences

 

My sympathies to your and your family. Taking time does seem the best thing to do.

 

Sorry for your loss! You need to concentrate on doing what a good friend would do. Suppport his wife and family etc. Don't worry about the band thing right now. If it is meant to be later that's great. If nothing else maybe at some point you could get together and do a tribute show for him.

 

I'm so sorry. I am sure that this is very hard. Like all things in life - it will become easier to handle over time, and you and your guys can consider going on or not.

When you audition a new drummer, think of it as honoring Ed and not replacing him.

 

I'm sorry man. It's always tough to lose anyone, especially someone close like that. You guys will be in my prayers.

On band matters: take a break. if you have a desire to reband and regroup later, and if you think that Ed would have wanted you to carry on, stoke the coals and get the train rolling once more.

However, I would second the tribute show. Find someone to fill in, and raise money for his wife and family. Find other bands to perform as well. After that, take the break. I think it'd be a good way to make sure his family is taken care of for a while, which would be the best way to honor him, I think.

 

I think you should definitely put some good time between today and when you choose to do something with your band - whether that means continuing on with a new drummer or moving on to new opportunities.

I was the guy who a band brought in to replace a band member who died suddenly and unexpectedly - and it was immediately after he died because the band had a commitment and because I was available as a sub, they decided to soldier on.

It's hard to be that guy. People who knew him keep coming to the shows and talking to the other members about how much they miss him - and I became the focal point for why people either thought the band wasn't as good as it used to be - or worse, there were people who liked my approach better and then there you are in a conversation about how you're "better" than the guy who passed. Not to mention causing conflicted feelings amongst the band itself because they might really like the new sound you bring, but that makes them feel guilty - as if they are dissing the memory of their friend.

I never knew the guy I replaced - but I have a strong feeling I'd have liked him a lot and it was obvious that the band had a chemistry with him that wasn't the same with me. As a guy who was the guy brought in to replace the guy, I can tell you - while it has it's good moments, on the whole the void is always there. The guys in the band who knew him will always miss him - especially when playing - and the guy who takes his place will always represent something more than what he's there to do which is be a musician in the band - he's the guy who replaced the friend who died.

This is my own experience as "that guy" - The band can go on with a new member, but part of what makes a person live on is when people who knew him get together - like a band tends to do. The simple act of rehearsing becomes very nostalgic - and you become a third wheel to all the "remember when..." and "he would have said..." - then the eyes look at you and everyone says, "but we like you too..."

You need to give yourself time to come to terms with it all. This is my experience being the guy who filled in the slot very shortly after the tragic event. I think if the band had taken a little more time to come to terms with things, allow the grieving process to do it's thing and then decide they want to reignite the band thing, it would have been much different.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. That's tough.

After some time passes (you'll have to figure out the amount of time on your own), get the band together (sans intruments) for some pizza and talk about direction. Go extremely informal. Just talk. See what happens as far as direction is concerned.

Well, that's what I'd do, sitting on this side of the situation.

 

So sorry about your loss. May your grief give way to fond memories as time passes.

I joined a band a year ago that was looking for a bassist. I did not know until my audition that they had been together 15 years and had lost their long time bassist, also 52, the year before.
From what they said, following his brief illness and death put the band, a four piece with two guitarists/song writers, into a state of grief that made it too difficult to even think about going on as a band.
About 10 months later, the two guitarists went to see the drummer play out with his long time cover band, a side project. At the end of the set the drummer convinced the guys to get up on stage and do a few of their tunes with him. It was a bittersweet moment and afterwards they decided it was time to get back on the horse because they all knew that is what their friend would have wanted.
We didn't play much in the first months I was with them but now the band is getting together fairly often and there's a even a few new songs being developed for the next CD.
Like others mentioned here, take the time you need to mourn your loss and then see what your are up for down the road a bit. If you think your drummer would have wanted to see the band continue then there is no better way to honor his memory.
Good luck to his family and all of you.