what to say to bass ignorant people

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by JWC, Oct 6, 2000.

  1. JWC

    JWC Banned

    Oct 4, 2000
    when your lead guitarist says to you....
    "I can play the bass too, its just a guitar with 4 strings"
    you then say....
    "hey man, you know that one Primus song "My Name Is Mud", the lead instrument is a bass...and after all, playing guitar makes you a bass expert as well....go for it."

    when some idiot says...
    "the bass must be easier than the guitar it only has 4 strings"
    you then say...
    "so does a violin, I hear they're pretty easy too"


  2. ONYX


    Apr 14, 2000
    I have a whole list of replies to such IGNORANT remarks.

    Unfortunately, this is a PG-13 board and I don't think Paul would be very happy if I listed them here!!!!!:D
  3. jazzbo


    Aug 25, 2000
    San Francisco, CA
    This one's my favorite. I love it!
  4. Gard

    Gard Commercial User

    Mar 31, 2000
    Greensboro, NC, USA
    General Manager, Roscoe Guitars
    I usually just agree with them.

    "Yup, it's really easy....and since you CAN'T play it, that doesn't speak well for you, does it?" :p

    I don't have to deal with the "only 4 strings" remarks though, I usually get the "Gee, I've never seen a guitar that big before" comments. :D
  5. CamMcIntyre


    Jun 6, 2000
    I get the "Are you to st-st-stupid [they stutter] to play guitar?" remarks, then i do a solo then it's the "Holy Shikes, That sounded cool" also i get "Why can't you just play a wind instrument" my response "cause i'm smarter than that". ok that's all
  6. "Well shucks! That's a long geeetar! :::whispers::: But, hey buddy, you're missing two strings..."

    :::T.J. winds up and smacks 'em:::
  7. eli

    eli Mad showoff 7-stringer and Wish lover Supporting Member

    Dec 12, 1999
    NW suburban Chicago
    I fixed that one... I only gig with 6's.

  8. Deynn

    Deynn Moderator Emeritus

    Aug 9, 2000
    But then you get a lot of..."why is it so BIG?" And that's NOT the groupies talkin' to ya! :D
  9. eli

    eli Mad showoff 7-stringer and Wish lover Supporting Member

    Dec 12, 1999
    NW suburban Chicago
    Yeah, well, the groupies never asked me that question either... :(

  10. my favorite reply is
    did you know that Sid Vicious chose bass over guitar because he felt he could kick major arse with the extra weight
  11. jcadmus


    Apr 2, 2000
    What can you say to bass ignorant people?

    Nothing. You can't reform an idiot, so there's no point in saying anything. ;)
  12. I was out of town when my choir had to perform a concert. When I got back, someone came up to me and said, "I now know what the bass guitar does. There was something missing, and I couldn't quite figure out what it was. Then I realized there was no bass, and it became clear to me what it does for the music."

    That made me smile for days.

  13. Deynn

    Deynn Moderator Emeritus

    Aug 9, 2000
    Perhaps we should have a "National Bass Players Strike Day". Maybe then...people would "get it". :D
  14. Christopher


    Apr 28, 2000
    New York, NY
    Re: What to Say to Bass Ignorant People.

    "Yes, as a matter of fact I am the lead guitarist. Wanna...?"
  15. CS


    Dec 11, 1999
    THe most common phrase I use to bass ignorant people is
    "It's supposed to be low Mr Soundman!"

  16. when guitarists say "Bass is easier because it has only 4 strings" say "yeah, but you guitarists have 6 strings to play on, we have to cram all of our phat bass lines into only 4 strings! That's hard!":D

    If you have a 6+ string bass that doesn't work.

    when people call it a guitar, pick it up, put the bass knob all the way up, turn the volume all the way up, tune the E-string (or B string if u have a fiver- even better) down to some unheard of note and then pluck it - <b><i>HARD.</i></b> "DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A GUITAR?!?!" you laugh maniacally as the sound resonates through the neighborhood and the windows rattle. Usually the frightened soul will <ul>RUN</ul> out of that place as fast as they can. It's sooo FUNNY!! :p
  17. Simply state that Paul McCartney played bass. EVERYONE knows who Paul is. And virtually none know he was a bassist. Except other bassers.

    Rock on
  18. JWC

    JWC Banned

    Oct 4, 2000
    very true. speaking of Paul Mc, he is one of my favorite bassists of all time. I read though that when the Beatles first got together (as the Quarrymen I believe) Paul had to play the bass because no one else did. He played by default. Paul had stated in the same article that he thought bass was just what the least talented guitarist had to relegate to doing. Also Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys ended up playing bass by default as well. But thats ok, Brian probably doesn't even remember anymore what he played, jk.
  19. cschenk78


    Mar 12, 2000
    Watertown, NY
    The worst case of Non Bass-player Ignorance occured when a Non-bass player soundchecked my gear at a recent gig.

    The gig was 70 miles from home; the sax player and I had a happy hour gig at a local Restaraunt. So we had the roadies soundcheck for us and we arrived at the gig 10 mins before showtime. So I never even touched my bass before the we went on.

    I get up on stage and played through the first tune. I swear I spent the rest of the set trying to get my EQ and effects to sound right again. It was so high and tinty, I couldn't get any Bottom or kick out of it at all. (I felt very small)

    So when we took our set break, I went back to the dressing room and began chewing out the guy when screwed up my sound and the guy looks me in the eye and says...

    It sounded to Bassy....Man

    .....What the F**K!!!
  20. Blackbird

    Blackbird Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 18, 2000
    Am I the only one who's curious as to what happenned next?:)

    Will C.:cool: