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What was the dumbest thing an audience member ever said to you?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Benthoven, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. Benthoven


    May 26, 2009
    Charlotte, NC
    I was gigging in a mostly-original fusion band one night, and admittedly probably mis-booked into this particular club.

    Just after finishing a kick-ass funk tune at the end of our first set, this chick comes up and asked, "Was that a real song, or did ya'll just make that up?" :laugh:
    Wavebird, John6, TheReceder and 46 others like this.
  2. Clark Dark

    Clark Dark

    Mar 3, 2005
    awww, bless her heart:roflmao:
  3. "You guys sound good!" :D
  4. Winslow


    Sep 25, 2011
    "Can I touch your head?" :woot:

    This has occurred in non-playing environments too. Some ladies just seem to like the novelty of a hairless noggin for some reason.
  5. We do covers

    "Play something I know"
    ..You've been singing along and dancing all night.

    "Yea but play something that I really like"
    Which is?

    "I don't know, you're in the band, you pick"

    :bored: :eyebrow: o_O :rollno:
    Yogi Bear, scottm, Darci and 55 others like this.
  6. Bass Man Dan

    Bass Man Dan Endorsing Artist: Ned Flanders' Bass-a-Reeno Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2017
    Our drummer was sound checking his kick drum and some drunk old guy yelled "C'mon, you'll never get anywhere playing one drum!"
    scottm, Benthoven, Jigmay and 61 others like this.
  7. John Swartz

    John Swartz

    Apr 9, 2008
    Someone in the crowd said we were too loud, and I asked if there was anything specific and he said, "Yeah, the VOLUME!" :banghead:
  8. Kevnn4


    Mar 19, 2015
    SF Bay Area
    We were playing a bar gig. Classic Rock covers (Bad Co. ZZTop, Thin Lizzy, etc.) I was playing my Squier VM white jazz, sansamp BDDI, Fender Rumble 350 (older version), Hartke 4x10 aluminium cones. An older gentleman comes up after the first set complementing my tone in a slightly smug voice ("Amazing tone. I really like those 62 reissue jazz basses. The pickups are best things next to the originals. Nothing out there today sounds as good as the reissue.) etc, etc, etc." I got a kick out of him going on and on but I had to let him know....

    Me: "Actually, its a stock Squier VM jazz. I set it up and it plays like a dream. No mods needed. :) "
    Older gentleman: "I knew there was something off about your tone. No mids. Muddy bottom. Highs were too bright. You really need to learn about EQ."
    Me: "But I thought you said you liked my.........
    Older gentleman: *turns and walks away apparently disgusted*

    I had to laugh. It's dumb to hear something you like, have someone tell you exactly what was used to get that sound and then get upset because its not the gear you like.
    So I jumped up on stage, turned UP and thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the show... No older gentleman in sight. His loss. LOL!
  9. *..after we finish a Van halen song*
    Drunk chick in the corner: "PLaY VAN HaLeN!"
    of course
    Wavebird, Benthoven, Darci and 9 others like this.
  10. BooDoggie

    BooDoggie Typical Dumb-ass with a degree

    Mar 29, 2014

    He was the bar owner, and he wanted to let everybody know not to mess with him. :)
  11. Esteban Garcia

    Esteban Garcia living la vida loca Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2018
    Portland, OR
    "Play something good!" (between every song in the third set, Eugene, OR, ca. 1989)
  12. gln1955

    gln1955 Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2014
    Ohio, USA
    Similar. We finish up a set that includes "Ramblin Man", "Midnight Rider" and "Whippin' Post". I go to the bar to get a beer and a guy says "You guys are good. Do you play any Allman Brothers?"
  13. Mo cowbell

    Mo cowbell

    Mar 2, 2017
    Back in 85 I was in the “headlining” band at 30 keg outdoor party. A lot of people. The opening band was the band I was in previously. I thought I have moved up in projects. A friend from high school said, “Man, you guys kicked ass on that second band.” I informed him I was in the second band. That was slightly awkward for us both.
    Wavebird, ThePez, Benthoven and 12 others like this.
  14. Lesfunk

    Lesfunk Supporting Member

    “Can I sing some Grand Funk with you guys? I’m really good! Ask my friends!”

    Then proceeds to stand in front of the stage and starts singing “closer to home” acapella

    I told him this is a show not an audition.
  15. Element Zero

    Element Zero Supporting Member

    Dec 14, 2016
    Finished a 2 hour set. Sat down at the bar for a Jack and Coke. Dude and chick next to me... “have you heard this band? They’re really good”... gave em one of these looks...
  16. cableguy

    cableguy Supporting Member

    Jun 4, 2009
    North Bend, WA
  17. Low Down Brown

    Low Down Brown Supporting Member

    Jan 8, 2018
    Beat me to it.
  18. SactoBass

    SactoBass A retired civil engineer who likes all-tube amps! Supporting Member

    Ah yes, the ultimate vomit-inducing song! :vomit: I was in a YES tribute band many years ago, and halfway through a gig, some dweebus maximus yelled "Freebird" between songs. That's when I wish I had a 16-ton weight handy...

  19. TheReceder


    Jul 12, 2010
    "Why is your guitar bigger than the other guys? " ( Had to keep most of my answers to myself)
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
    Benthoven, HughC, Darci and 24 others like this.
  20. I have a buddy who yells that after darn near every song. I usually show him both my middle fingers and tell him "No charge." It doesn't get him to stop, but it makes me feel better.
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019

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