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What your wife may not know...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by evlwevl, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. my wife supports me 100% but knows nothing about music gear cost or anything..... we've been married for 16 years and have a joint bank / credit card account so if I need to buy something she knows - and I always discuss it with her first anyway before I buy anything.
    I've not had a problem getting anything I've needed - providing I explain WHY I need it....

    A few years ago I told her I needed new strings ($35 NZ) and her reply was "didn't you change them last year"?
    and once we were in the music shop and she looked at a small Ampeg 20w combo? and said "why don't you buy this instead of the big amp (Ashdown EVO 900 and Warwick 4x10) you have??
    There was no point trying to explain wattage...etc... to her as she'd never get it.
  2. Benny Bennett

    Benny Bennett

    Sep 19, 2018
    I guess I'm blessed. My wife of 5 years Likes me getting what I want. She's bought me 3, 2 just because I said I like it! Same with amps, sound equipment, etc. She even insisted I get a better trailer to haul the stuff! I'm down to 7 basses I can pick up and play, my choice to thin it out. But I have to be careful saying 'I like that bass.' haha It's a blessing to have a wife who understands a guy can't have too many guitars or guns! haha
    two fingers likes this.
  3. Glenn Mac

    Glenn Mac

    Nov 19, 2017
    Time to talk it over!
    Wanker_Joe likes this.
  4. ryco


    Apr 24, 2005
    Don't tell how much I make in tips. Those ARE MINE! But I do buy her little things with 'em, or dinner if it was a really good night.
  5. amper


    Dec 4, 2002
    There are basically two ways to handle money in a marriage:

    A. Your money is pooled.
    2. Your money is separate, except for joint expenses.

    In case A, if you are lying to your spouse, you are a bad person, you should feel shame, and you should be shamed.

    In case 2, so long as your obligations to your spouse and/or family are otherwise fulfilled, then what you choose to do with your money is your business.

    It's not funny to come onto a forum which you might have noticed does in fact contain female bassists and brag about how much and how often and how long you have been lying to your wife, and it would be absolutely no different if it were your husband, or if it were a woman doing the bragging—but let's not pretend this isn't very much a gendered phenomenon in a patriarchal society.
    Glenn Mac likes this.
  6. barricwiley


    Jun 5, 2011
    Northern VA
    I have bought a few instruments without letting her know - I don't spend a ton on gear. I have 1 rule in the house that she knows. She can have whatever her little heart desires if we can afford it.
    m-j likes this.
  7. picker1974


    Feb 5, 2012
    My wife knows pretty much every piece of gear I have. No secrets. Admittedly she gets annoyed when I walk through the door with a guitar case or amp head, but it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission
  8. Lunatique


    Nov 23, 2007
    Lincoln, CA
    I guess it depends on the kind of marriage you have. My wife and I have joint accounts and we keep no secrets. We are each other's best friends and can talk about anything. We don't share the same interests (for example, music, writing, art, photography, and games are my domain, while gardening, health/beauty, and cooking are her thing, and we share movies/TV/books), but we respect and support each other and listen to each other rant and rave and gush about what's the latest thing that's happened in our own hobbies/passions.

    She's been extremely supportive in all the 17 years we've been married. Even when I was between jobs she would spoil me and let me buy expensive professional camera gear (about $10k worth total), because she knows how passionate I was/am about photography. Same with music gear. Hell, I designed and constructed my own recording studio inside of our home, and she fully supported it.

    Just very recently, I purchased a Bongo 5 HH and a Mustang PJ, and she asked me for the photos I took so she could share them on her social media, just because the two basses looked so pretty together (firemist gold and surf peal).

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