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What's the difference between a bass and a cello?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by bacid, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. So I was transporting my bass from the band room to my car today when I overheard this conversation between two girls:

    "Is that an upright bass he's carrying"
    "No it's a cello"
    "No I think it's an upright bass"
    "Well what's the difference between an upright bass and a cello?"
    "A cello has six strings and an upright bass has four"

    As you can imagine my head almost exploded while I tried to explain to them the difference between a cello and a bass. :rollno:
  2. Sometimes it's not worth it. However, if the girls were cute...
  3. Why, the bass burns longer, of course.
  4. anonymous0726

    anonymous0726 Guest

    Nov 4, 2001
    I heard it as, "...you can heat a bigger room with the bass."
  5. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    I might have tried giving them a riff on the "upright" theme...
  6. John Sprague

    John Sprague Sam Shen's US Distributor

    Mar 10, 2003
    Rochester, NY
    Sales Manager, CSC Products Inc.
    The bass holds more beer. :)
  7. ctxbass

    ctxbass Supporting Member

    Nov 6, 2003
    Central Texas
    Violins and violas are actually the same size; it's just that violinists have bigger heads so........
  8. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    Dude, that explains a LOT!!! :hyper:

  9. Wow, that must be a common idea that cellos have more strings than basses. I was in the subway about two years ago, walking with my standup, and some guy comes up to me and asked it it was a cello. I told him it was a bass and his reply:

    "Oh that's right, cellos have 5 strings."

    How that made any sense I'm not sure as my bass was in its case regardless, but hey, whatever!
  10. Snakewood

    Snakewood Guest

    Dec 19, 2005
    u can also sleep inside a bass case...unlike cello! hah
  11. anthem274


    Jul 19, 2003
    Arlington, TX
    I get alot of "Mane, dats a big vy-lin" when I'm carrying my bass in the school hallway.
  12. anthem274


    Jul 19, 2003
    Arlington, TX
    Also, if you wanted to scare the girls away, you could have told them that "the bass has... thicker... longer... strings."
  13. Tbeers


    Mar 27, 2005
    Chicago, IL
    "What's the difference between" jokes are my favorite!

    What's the difference between a soprano and a seamstress?

    A seamstress tucks and frills.

    (A fellow bassist told me that one last week at a concert, I was doubled over haha)
  14. John Sprague

    John Sprague Sam Shen's US Distributor

    Mar 10, 2003
    Rochester, NY
    Sales Manager, CSC Products Inc.
    He he.

    What's the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
    Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.

    I am one of the few non-bassists who can claim having done this. :p
  15. some people...

    i just don;t understand PEOPLE!

    and +1 on the violinists joke.

    you want them all? go here:

    greatest jokes ever.

    How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?
    Shoot one.

  16. That's a funny version. I heard it as, What's the difference between a violist and a seamstress?

    The seamstress tucks UP the frills.
  17. not to mention, basses are longer, harder(!) and have a whole lot more girth than cell..is..t..s..... uh, um, no!! CELLOS! (got to watch my mouth, oh well)

    now, now, going back to the girls.....;)
    which do you like better now?
  18. Leandra


    Oct 18, 2006
    :) i know this situation veery well.

    Some examples:

    - oooh. your guitar/violin is biiiiig!!! :rollno:


    - Do you play this huge instrument

    ° Nooo, i'm hauling it around JUST FOR FUN!!!!!


    - hey, you just packed your ganny/your boyfriend in that case, RIGHT???

    (yeah, and you just swollowed a clown, didn't you?!?!)


    -oh looooook she's got a DRUMS-SET with her!!!!

    what the hell?? :help:


    hmm.. sometimes it's realy funny, but i'm worried more and more, what about THINKING before ASKING??? or don't they know ANYTHING about MUSIC???
  19. SteveC

    SteveC Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 12, 2004
    North Dakota
    The real unanswered question here is still...were the girls cute. If so, it is worth the time.
  20. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    I am continually surprised how good of a conversation starter an upright bass in the elevator can be.

    "Wow, that's HUGE."
    "Why, thank you."