What's the lamest excuse you've heard or used to get out of going to work or school?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Jul 29, 2003.

  1. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    The most ridiculous one I've heard is a lame @$$ I used to work with going home sick because: "I ate a bad chip".
  2. stuie86


    May 9, 2003
    mckinney, tx
    see i thought this thread would have worked out better as im sure you did

    come on out of all the people around this place none of us can think of just ONE
  3. spector_guy2004

    spector_guy2004 Guest

    Apr 11, 2002
    Hollister, Ca, USA
    hehe, this is weird but when i was in 7th grade my mom let me stay home cuz i said my butt hurts. i had eaten some bad food or something, but it didnt really hurt. my mom used to fall for that stuff all the time, but then she got smarter:( .
  4. I don't have a lame excuse, but I did have an employee who was about to be fired write out a note that says

    "I, Monica, doesn't wan't to work at the Regal wright now"

    I didn't want to start a whole new thread about it...it makes you wonder why our general manager hired her. Oh yeah, she's hot.
  5. I skipped one day,and went home...and I was sleepy,so I was in bed when my mom came home,and she goes "why are you home?!" *half asleep voice* sick....

    she got pissed,it was funny now that I think about it,I had a big plan on why i was gonna say why I was sick,but I forgot,so all I said was sick:)

    Umm...One time,I really didn't wanna goto school,so I just stayed home and didn't really say anything....that was weird,I think

  6. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    One time, I had a headache that was bothering me for a few days. I asked mom, "Can I have a day to sleep it off?" she said fine.

    That said, I only miss maybe 3 or 4 days of school per year, so she knows that I am serious when I ask for it.

    One of my friends stayed home a few times because he slept wrong and couldn't turn his neck to the right past center. By slept wrong, I mean he had a physics lab write up due.

    I don't make up fake BS. It's not a problem, I do what I need to do, and it's all good.
  7. Mike Money

    Mike Money In Memoriam

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    I just say I have a headache... they know I am full of crap, but I can get away with it 2-3 times a year.
  8. stuie86


    May 9, 2003
    mckinney, tx
    looks like my incuriging words helped get this thread moving *takes a baw* your all very welcome

    sorry for mispellings

    i kid
  9. I used to pretend to get a migrane. I would grab my head and start to scream and say "I CAN'T SEE!! I CAN'T SEE!!!". It worked everytime, but then I stopped doing it because I didn't want the doctors to start giving me cat-scans to see what was wrong with me.
  10. haha...

    Dude,what if they found something...and you actually reall did have migraines:)

  11. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    Again not really an excuse, but I used to be involved in the reporting of industrial accidents.
    So our organisation had to report all indutsrial accidents to the council.

    So there was this huge long official government form where you had to write details and I had to summarise them and look through them - so there were all the usual things, but I remember laughing at one :

    It was titled : flea bite - and in the space where there was supposed to be a long description and details of time/place/conditions etc - it just said :

    A flea leapt up from the floor and bit my leg!

    And that was it !

    I laughed for ages - but then it wasn't a fun job! ;)
  12. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Portland, OR
    I don't need an exuse.

    I say "Ma, not going to school today." to which she replies, "Ok, tell your brother."

    That's it. The thing is, I had all As and Bs, never get into trouble, never so much as tardy. She's of the mind that people just need a day off sometimes (especially in school where, unlike a job, there is no financial obligation on the line). So, the understanding is, if I'm "sick" I don't get to go do anything after school, like band practice (lets me do gigs though).

    So, really, I don't need an excuse. And with college coming up, they don't need an excuse either.
  13. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    gonna get all serious here for a minute.

    all excuses are lame. i had an acting teacher set me straight on this stuff and it stuck for some reason. she used to say, if something is imortant enough, you'll be there, and you'll be there on time. period. there are no excuses. if people were late for her class she flat out wouldn't let them in - didn't matter why. she also said, if i told you there was $10,000 waiting for you, only if you were here at 8pm, you would be here at 8pm - and i believe she was right on that one.

    i can't handle people's excuses for lateness after that. i'm a teacher so i can't tell you how many times i've heard, "no matter what i do i wind up late."

    with that out of the way, the lamest excuse i've heard was a drummer we had one time who left a message saying he was sick. it was only really lame if you heard it though, but i'll do my best possible re-enactment in writing.... :D

    "...hello, (weeez)... uhh, joe, (loud cough). this is mike... (cough, cough), i can't make (cough)rehearsal cuz i'm sick (cough, cough, cough, sniffle). i'll talk to you (cough, cough)) later.
  14. Aaron


    Jun 2, 2001
    Seattle, WA
    My favorite one: "I'm going to disneyland with some friends."
  15. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    But you were talking about actors - maybe it was kind of a double bluff - if you really convinced her with your excuse then you were a good actor! So she was just saying it was impossible to have an excuse as a challenge to the class to impress her with your skill as actors in how convincing your excuse could appear? ;)

    So the guy who really made her believe that his mother was dying of cancer, while he had actually just overslept, would get top marks - A's all round!! :D
  16. NJL


    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    i used this one two weeks ago:

    my dog ate my glasses (she really did!)

    i almost broke its neck, but i didn't - she's so cute...:D
  17. "My cellphone was charging".

    I liked that one.
  18. my friend used to write notes to be late to class (he always stayed in the art room painting, and sometimes sleeping) reading like this:
    or even:
    and he always got away with it, too.
  19. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    Joe is right - all excuses are lame.

    I had a buddy explain to me one time that all excuses are lame and the key is to have a lame excuse that they won't question. One they won't even want to discuss any further. To prove his point he went up to the teacher for the class that was just starting and said "hey Mr. Smith - I don't know what's up, but I've had the runs all day. I'm going to go home and get some Pepto. My house is really close - I'll be right back." The teacher said "Go". Of course the dude just left the school grounds and smoked some weed, he didn't come back to the class until the next day. The teacher didn't question his not coming back or ask for a note or anything, all he said to him was "I'm glad your feeling better today..."
  20. Mine, "I can't move my legs"

    Yes I am rarely sick from school or work.