1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  

What's the worst joke you know?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Lucky Strike, Oct 21, 2013.

  1. I'm ready
  2. paste


    Oct 3, 2011
    Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Then a man comes up and exposes himself to them. Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn't reach.

    It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
  3. JimB52

    JimB52 User Supporting Member

    May 24, 2007
    East Coast
    Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

    Because she was a woman.
    two fingers, Mike SS, klejst and 10 others like this.
  4. neuman


    Mar 24, 2009
    Denver, CO 'burbs
    Dude digs three holes in his yard; looks around and says,"Well, well, well."
  5. neuman


    Mar 24, 2009
    Denver, CO 'burbs
    2 guys walk into a bar, ya think the second guy would've stopped.
  6. alembicguy

    alembicguy I operate the worlds largest heavey equipment Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper and the bartender says what's that and the pirate says
    Argh it's driving me nuts!
    nucman, Mr_Moo, bearhart74 and 3 others like this.
  7. Hopkins

    Hopkins Supporting Member Commercial User

    Nov 17, 2010
    Houston Tx
    Owner/Builder @Hopkins Guitars
    Two peanuts are walking down a dark ally, one was asalted
  8. DerHoggz

    DerHoggz I like cats :| Banned

    Feb 13, 2009
    Western Pennsylvania
    Do you mean worst as in unfunny, or crimes against humanity worst?
    BadWithNames and Pbassmanca like this.
  9. Ziltoid

    Ziltoid I don't play bass

    Apr 10, 2009
    The latter is so much more fun.
    Pbassmanca likes this.
  10. ErebusBass


    Feb 20, 2008
    Madison, WI
    Couldn't post any of my good ones here for fear of the banhammer
  11. Agreed.
    Many inappropriate jokes to be told, just not here.
    Pbassmanca likes this.
  12. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?

    You would, too if your name was eeeeeeeeeerrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhh

    I don't know if that one works if typing. Oh crikey. If I break out the Helen Keller jokes, I've had too much to drink.
  13. gustobassman

    gustobassman I'm only here for the after party.. Supporting Member

    Mar 31, 2011
    Sandy Eggo
    What do you call a fish with no eye?

    A Fsh.

  14. Milk


    Sep 16, 2013
    Montreal, Canada
    Maybe the old classic....

    A man and a young boy are walking into a forest at night. They walk deeper and deeper into the woods. At some point the boy stops and says "I'm scared". The man answers "You're scared!? ha, you're not the one that will have to walk back out of here alone!"
    raybone, Alik, Just_Ethan and 13 others like this.
  15. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    A man walked into a bar - Ouch, it was an iron bar.
  16. Ziltoid

    Ziltoid I don't play bass

    Apr 10, 2009
    A man walks into a bar and asks the waiter if they serve cucumbers. The waiter answer "Yes, have a seat".
    BlueAliceOasis likes this.
  17. Shakin-Slim


    Jul 23, 2009
    Tokyo, Japan
    Three pieces of rope walk into a bar. The first piece offers to buy the first round. He hops up on the bar and asks for three beers. "We don't serve rope", the bartender says. "I'm sorry?" "We don't serve rope." He hops down and tells his buddies it's no use. The second piece says, "hang on, I'll try." He hops up on the bar and asks for three beers. "Look, I already told your mate, we don't serve rope." The second piece goes back to the others. The third piece says, with a grin, "I've got this. Can I borrow your comb?" He takes his friends comb, ties himself in a knot and combs out the top of his head. He hops up on the bar and asks for three beers. "If you three don't leave, I'm going to throw you out. We DON'T SERVE ROPE." "I'm sorry?" the third piece says. "You're a piece of rope aren't you?" says the bartender. "I'm a frayed knot"

  18. Dale D Dilly

    Dale D Dilly Monster

    Jul 1, 2008
    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I've just been diagnosed with terminal cancer."
    David Jayne likes this.
  19. 96tbird

    96tbird PLEASE STAND BY

    Why did Helen Keller's mom put mittens on her while inside the house? So she would quit her incessant blathering.

    Ever hear of the paper cowboy? His hat is paper, his vest is paper, his chaps are paper, his jeans and shirt are paper, his boots and spurs are paper l, his guns and belt are paper, his horse and saddle are paper Wanna know what he's wanted by the law for?

    bound'n'blocked likes this.
  20. I know several that would get me perma-banned

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.