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When is a deal a deal?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Wimsta, Oct 26, 2020.

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  1. Wimsta


    Apr 17, 2019
    Partly in curiosity (I have a doctorate in conflict management) and partly in frustration I wanted to return to a question I know I've seen on here before.

    I know some people say "it's not a deal until you've got the bass in your hand" and others say "as soon as you reach an agreement" and all range of responses in between.

    I tend to fall on, when you reach an agreement you have a deal. I guess you could call this a word is bond position.

    I'm a bit disappointed at the moment. I have already taken steps to provide payment for a purchase that was agreed upon. We had a price and a timeline. It is now Monday and the payment would be PayPaled on Wednesday or Thursday (at the latest).

    [Truth be told: I even agreed to send the money as a gift (to avoid fees) in violations of the ToS.]

    I have received a message that says:

    "I'm getting other offers. Not trying to start a bidding war, but the person who reached out to me first wants to pay asking price now. Sorry for any inconvenience."

    I thought we had a deal.

    SO, please tell me why I'm right, wrong, stupid, etc?

    I'm probably stupid for posting this, maybe this will still get sorted out, maybe this prevents things from getting sorted out...

    [Edit to add: I reached an agreement with the seller, money has been transferred, ... I'm only leaving this up as the academic exercise that it is.]
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2020
  2. Wimsta


    Apr 17, 2019
    Sorry, if a mod can move this to the right forum, that would be great.
  3. I'd probably politely tell them to pound sand just out of principal, but that's just me. Once trust is gone I'm out.

  4. Gordo350


    Sep 20, 2018
    Your word is your bond. Unfortunately his isn't. He want's maximum $ and doesn't care about anyone but himself
    JoeDaddio likes this.
  5. jd56hawk


    Sep 12, 2011
    The Garden State
    The guy sounds like a bum.
    It was a deal...among men, that is.
    Consider yourself lucky, though.
    Imaging receiving the bass and finding it wasn't as described.
    Imagine trying to get your money back if you found the truss rod was maxed out, or it had some other issue.
    He simply could not be trusted to do what was right.
  6. lug

    lug Supporting Member

    Feb 11, 2005
    League City, Tx
    He used you like a gussied up harlot to lure his true target in. I'd burn down his house.

    Note: the above statement if for comic relief only, no houses should actually be burned down.
    Qlanq, Oddly and Volker Kirstein like this.
  7. Coming from the car business where it's not a deal until the contract is signed and the car drives over the curb... everything else is just conversation.

    In this case it's a deal when money changes hands IMHO.

    If you had already sent payment I would say you had a legitimate beef with the seller.
  8. Wimsta


    Apr 17, 2019
    Legally, of course, this is actually not true in many (if not most) jurisdictions.

    If a person agrees to receive payment at that time, then they are bound to that agreement.

    Just to be clear, you do realize that your position has legal exposure?
    FDR Jones likes this.
  9. Wimsta


    Apr 17, 2019
    Like I asked someone else, you do realize that there is legal exposure in your position, yes?

    If I tell a car dealer, "I'm interested in your _____, I'm flying in from ________, can you hold it for me to test drive and possibly make an offer on on _______?"

    If the dealer says, "you have a deal?" and then sells the car before I get there, they put themselves on the hook for things like travel expenses and other damages?

    I mean, you do realize that, right?
  10. nickpc


    Jul 23, 2012
    I've had a few Craigslist sellers try to renegotiate at the actual transaction. I'll just tell them I'm there because my word was good - I have the amount agreed on right here in my hand. Then I'll ask them if their word is good.

    Works really well when their kid is right there with them.
  11. 9c1ny

    9c1ny Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2008
    I paid a guy here once, almost $3k
    then I listed a bass I wouldn't have sold otherwise to put towards it, it sold the same day.
    A few days later of asking for a tracking number he told me he had cold feet and refunded my money (which took about a week and a half to process back to me) and then left me hostile name calling PM's and negative feedback when I expressed disappointment

    about a month later he relisted the bass and sold it for real for less than I had paid him

    so yeah it could be worse
    GregC, Starduck1476 and since197three like this.
  12. Wimsta


    Apr 17, 2019
    So, you don't realize that there is legal exposure in agree to something and changing your mind, that makes sense.
  13. Wimsta


    Apr 17, 2019
    So, even when you pay you might not have a deal. Good observation. I need to extend that goalpost.
    9c1ny likes this.
  14. bherman

    bherman Supporting Member

    Apr 30, 2009
    Grand Junction, CO
    When I set up a transaction, I always confirm in writing what was agreed to (whether seller or buyer). "So, we agree that I'll send you $____ for the widget, shipped to me?", and look for a written confirmation. If the person waffles later, I just back out of the deal, based on my ability to no longer trust them. Part of the whole basis for me of being a TB member is a certain level of trust among participants.
  15. It sounds like the seller accepted your offer and other arrangements were made.

    If the seller then later steps away from all this, because (s)he gets a better offer, that is rather sh*tty behaviour, IMHO. Not the type of seller I would want any further business with...
    GregC and Oddly like this.
  16. Wimsta


    Apr 17, 2019
    Yeah, I think we're on pretty much the same page.

    What I'm curious about is that I'm regularly reminded by other TBers that having it in writing does not matter, which calls into question everything for me.
  17. It's greed. There's lots of it. For many people, money is more important than integrity. Once you see which sort of person you're dealing with, it's ok to let it go. It's a red flag for additional problems with them.
    Nekomata and Ewo like this.
  18. BeefPie84


    Mar 29, 2019
    Legal acceptance only happens when money is in hand. That's it. Just like you could have pulled out last minute, he can sell to anyone he wants. Money in hand is King. Sounds like you dilly dallied on the payment portion.
    wncBass, BadSanta1281 and Nev375 like this.
  19. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    You're not stupid, and you did have a deal. Unfortunately you had a deal with a jerkweasel. When the seller and the buyer have an agreement, you've reached a deal. Unfortunately, today, many people have no concept of "keeping your word."

    When I'm selling something, I make it clear that it's up for sale until I get the money. PayPal takes a few minutes to send money and there's no excuse for not sending the money immediately, unless the seller agrees to wait, which it appears he did in your case. I've had too many people who want to buy something but never send the money so now I just let them know if they want it, they can send the money.
  20. beatdatthang


    Aug 29, 2011
    It happens. Unfortunately it feels like too often. It would take two hands to count the number of times I thought I had a deal done on something only to have it fall through on the other end.

    The good news is, there are always other pieces of gear to buy and other deals to be had. You can probably find another of whatever you had agreed to buy previously for a reasonable deal.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

    Dec 3, 2020

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