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When it comes to gifts...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by twinjet, Dec 15, 2018.

  1. twinjet

    twinjet Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    I usually ask my wife for bass or music related stuff. Birthday came up, "what should I get you?". I asked for a $90 set of tuners to help finish my bass project. She said no, so I bought them and told her not to bother. Headphones? Nope. Bought those too.

    Christmas is coming up. "What should I get you?". I could do with a few pedals or CDs. Nope and nope. Guess what's on my shopping list?

    Nevermind that she gets what she asks for come the holidays or a birthday... ;)

    Is this just my experience?
    Robert B, JimK, BurnOut and 2 others like this.
  2. Oddly

    Oddly Unofficial TalkBass Cartographer! Supporting Member

    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    I'm wondering if she sees music as your main job, and therefore would rather get you something special that isn't so closely tied to that.

    Like if you were a car mechanic and wanted a new spanner, or painter and new brushes.

    Maybe what she really wants is for you to say 'Honey, let's not bother with presents, and just have a romantic night out, or, even better, in?'
    Helix, L Anthony, JRA and 5 others like this.
  3. twinjet

    twinjet Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    I suppose that's all possible. Though I have a job that takes up a significantly larger chunk of my time than music and we date multiple times a week.

    I did ask her. The answer I got was "I don't get it right and I like to surprise you anyway". She did that when she texted me tickets to a Chris Botti show in January. :)
    Helix, L Anthony, Oddly and 1 other person like this.
  4. You don’t get your love something they need; you get them something they want.
  5. Tell her you want a frilly negligee.

    JRA, ReviveBass, Spidey2112 and 4 others like this.
  6. twinjet

    twinjet Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    Spidey2112 and 5StringBlues like this.
  7. saabfender

    saabfender Banned

    Jan 10, 2018
    I'm a bit confused. Is she soliciting gift suggestions from you or are you making them to her?

    If it's the latter, it sounds as though she's tired of getting the high school boy Christmas list and you should let her come up with gifts on her own. Note the past female-friendly experiential present of concert tickets.

    For the former, pick a couple things of you think she would naturally select on her own.
  8. My entire family is against gift--giving at year-end for decades now.
    Only the children get gifts.
    onamission, JRA, BurnOut and 7 others like this.
  9. Jeff Scott

    Jeff Scott Rickenbacker guru.......... Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2006
    Similar to KbD, our families don't do the gift thing, except for the one kid who is in the Marines. We send him various care packages.

    Money is tight these days, and I don't really need, nor want, anything new musically speaking. I did order a table runner from Archive Edition yesterday for a repro 913 chest I have, but I've been wanting that for quite some time now. So, there! :smug:
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2018
    Spidey2112 likes this.
  10. twinjet

    twinjet Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    She asks what I want, so I tell her. I've actually never been into gift giving but she insisted on it when we first started dating. But, same as every year, I tell her don't worry about, I don't need presents. Nope, she says, not happening. I think I got a good one. :smug:

    I'd be fine with only getting stuff for the kids. I can get my fun stuff any time during the year and it'll be just as fun as if on Christmas. Kids may not share that POV, however.


    My parents always stressed the importance of family time during the holidays. I think the only reason my wife is even pressing the matter is because she had a rather strict upbringing and is more free now than in her youth. A lot of fun things most kids did, she didn't get to do, so she just wants to do these things with me.

    At any rate, I'm fine with or without gifts, but it's quite funny to try and figure out what she wants me to want her to get. :smug:
  11. jamro217

    jamro217 Supporting Member

    But she just saw this heinous sweater that's your size! :roflmao:
  12. Jeff Scott

    Jeff Scott Rickenbacker guru.......... Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2006
    And, it's musically related...........the Mothman is on the front and the back!
    jamro217 and Nashrakh like this.
  13. twinjet

    twinjet Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    I don't think she'd dig the Moth Maiden much. :bag:
    Jeff Scott and Oddly like this.
  14. Nev375


    Nov 2, 2010
    Maybe she just thinks you have too much bass guitar crap already.

    My wife thinks that, but she's still getting me a pedaltrain pedalboard this Christmas.
  15. If music isn’t something you share, she might prefer to buy you something related to what you have in common. It’s extra special when you receive a gift that brings you both closer together.
    twinjet and Oddly like this.
  16. She sees your gear as crap filling the house but you enjoy it so... As you would see her collection of figurines with the big eyes that watch your every move as just crap that fills the house but she enjoys it so...

    Like giving her a drill because you can use it too she wants a gift that she will also get some joy out of, like the sweater idea.
    As a gift to you it is a gift that keeps you warm and makes you look good, what she also gets out of it is you are warm and You Look Good. She will smile every time you use that sweater (gift).

    Is she going with you?
    She also gets to watch you having fun and be part of your enjoyment in The Gift.

    Tuners are just metal things on the end of a chunk of wood and headphones keep you in the other room ignoring her.

    Good luck.
    Groove Doctor and twinjet like this.
  17. glocke1


    Apr 30, 2002

    Aside from a couple of brothers and their spouses no one gets me any gifts. However they both know where my interests lie and I've told them in the past that if they want to get me anything, the things that would be most useful to me are thick heavyweight socks, coffee, iTunes gift cards, etc...I've given them both lists and my amazon wish list, both which contain numerous items under 20 bucks.

    For me, a useless gift from someone close is worse than no gift at all as that means they either know nothing about me or don't care enough to put thought into it. Not to sound ungrateful but what I end up getting are things that are completely useless to me. Over the years I've gotten things like DVD's of TV shows from the 50's or 60's that I have no interest in watching, science books that are far more technical and "sciencey" than I care for, (I work in science, so I guess they think thats where my interests lie but in my off work hours i want nothing to do with science)...This years gift from one just arrived, some kind of folding camp chair that looks more like a death trap than anything. Not sure where that idea came from as I've told them both I no longer camp.

    Honestly Im glad both of them are still around, but it would be nice if they put more thought into a gift instead of just clicking on whatever comes on their Amazon feed (which appears to be what is happening).

    FWIW I generally put some thought it into gifts for both of these guys and try to pick something that is related to their interests or that is useful. (example, one drinks coffee, so I got him a recurring subscription to a mail order coffee club).
  18. nilorius


    Oct 27, 2016
    Riga - Latvia
    Sounds unnormal.
  19. twinjet

    twinjet Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    Yes, I'm very much looking forward to it.
    These are stocking stuffers that we love getting each other. Can't underestimate the value of these two.
    S-Bigbottom likes this.
  20. Oberst


    Oct 1, 2018
    I tell people to net get me gifts. If they insist, I give them several charities they can donate to for me. Already have too much stuff.
    Groove Doctor and jamro217 like this.

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