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When Science Meets Booze - Crazy Yet Logical Theories

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Lord Henry, May 9, 2006.


  1. I just thought this would be fun. I want to hear your crazy (and probably booze, or whatever else, driven) theories. By way of example:

    Global Warming
    To boil an egg you place it in a pan of heated water for 3 minutes. The energy from the water is transfered to the egg and cooks it. However, if you place 2 eggs in the pan it still only takes 3 minutes to cook them, meaning that there must be 2 'eggs' of energy in every pan of boiling water. Therefore, whenever one egg is boiled alone, one 'egg' of heat energy must be released into the atmosphere and so warm it. Given that the sum total of eggs boiled can only go up, and as such so can the 'eggs' of heat energy released, the globe must warm.

    Cheers

    Your go
     
  2. Trevorus

    Trevorus

    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    Taken from: http://www.whosoever.org/v2Issue2/hell.html



    A retiring physical chemistry professor was setting his last exam, for a graduate course in statistical thermodynamics. Being a bit bored with it all, and with a well kept and wry sense of humour, he set a single question on the sheet:

    Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? Support you answer with a proof.

    He had little idea what to expect, or how to grade the results, but decided to reward any student who was able to come up with a reasonable and consistent reply to his query. One A was awarded.

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. The top student however wrote the following answer:

    First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. There are two possible conditions. One, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate t which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose. Conversely, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over, condition two.

    We can solve this with the 1990 postulation of Theresa LeClair, the girl who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, condition two above has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and hell is exothermic.
     
  3. Phil Mastro

    Phil Mastro

    Nov 18, 2004
    Montréal
    Hehe, I read a version of that where the girl says: "I'll have sex with you when hell freezes over", and the guy says at the end: "Since I HAD sex last night with her, it then goes to prove that hell has already frozen over. Also if that is really the case, it also means that no souls can get into hell, thus diverting all souls to heaven, hence proving the existence of a divine being, and, why, last night, Theresa kept saying over and over "Oh my god..." "
     
  4. jeff_bass28

    jeff_bass28 Guest

    Mar 21, 2006
    This come straight from my doc: Prilosec, Nexium, etc. are the absolute BEST hangover prevention you can get, short of not drinking. I have no idea why!
    I've been taking Nexium daily for almost 2 years due to some nasty acid reflux, and have--purely in the name of science--tested this thoery many times. I have yet to wake up with even the slightest headache or anything else.
     
  5. Minger

    Minger

    Mar 15, 2004
    Rochester, NY
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    Meh, I just got done with my AP Physics test yesterday.

    Termodynamics, along with electrostatics and magnetism are evil.

    Electric circuits, on the other hand, are sweet.
     

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