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Who says there is a shortage of good bass players?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Richland123, Apr 17, 2010.

  1. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    Who says there is a shortage of good bass players? This was a recently posted "so called" bass player available ad.

    I'm a great pro bass player looking for a new band, and have a lot of experience playing in all kinds of bands. I don't like to brag, but to be honest I'm the best bass player in Portland.

    I am picky about the kind of music I play. I don't like playing in original bands, because most of the players in those bands aren't good enough to play covers, and I don't like country because it's for morons.

    I'll play any style except reggae, ska, country, originals, classical, hip hop, rap, alternative, jazz, punk, new age, classic rock, or metal.

    I play current rock, and only current rock, even though most of it sucks, so I'm extremely particular about the kind of music I play. Think Nirvana meets Eric Clapton, with a touch of Motor Head thrown in (I know they're not NEW, but that's the style of music I prefer). If that is the kind of music you play, hit me up, otherwise don't waste my time.

    I'm ready to play immediately. I just need a little help financially to get my bass out of the pawn shop, and it would be great if you can loan me a little for strings, just until we get paid from our first gig, and I'll pay you back.

    I'm going through a messy divorce, but fortunately I get my kids part of the time, usually on the weekends.

    That won't be a problem though, because I can get a babysitter if I have enough notice if a gig comes up.

    I don't have a phone right now, but I'm planning to get a prepaid one as soon as I get a job.

    I'm staying with a friend right now and writing this on his computer, so you can contact me here.

    He says I can stay here one more month before I have to find a new place.

    I'm hoping to move back in with my Mom, but for some reason she's not returning my calls.

    My car got repossessed recently, so it would be great if someone in the band can give me a ride and haul my bass, just until we get things going and we start making some serious money.

    My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo, North Dakota that used to get some bookings from an agent in Detroit whos cousin is the wife of a lawyer who was hiredto put together a deal for a band that almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angelesbefore the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.

    Yes, I am in RECOVERY, and part of recovery is admitting you have a problem, but I haven't had any significant relapses since my last stint in rehab, I only smoke a little pot, and only on the breaks,and I'm always careful nobody sees me in the parking lot. All other form of recreation wait until AFTER the gig!

    Besides, unlike some other bass players in Portland that have on-going "issues" (you bass players know who you are) you know you can absolutely count on me staying sober and NOT HAVING A SUBSTANCE ABUSE OR ALCOHOL PROBLEM because my doctor says any of that stuff will interfere with the effectiveness of my medication.

    I'm ready to play, so if you want the best bass player in Portland, hit me up!

    Hey Joe (the "four-string thing")
  2. Bassmastertim


    Mar 15, 2009
  3. Isn't this from a Craigslist post that has been posted in just about every city in the U.S.?
  4. Johnny Crab

    Johnny Crab ACME,QSC,Fame/Hondo/Greco/HELIX user & BOSE Abuser Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 11, 2004
    South Texas
    Sound pretty modest about it to me.
  5. Cannabass


    Jan 22, 2010
    hahahhahaahah awesome connections and obviously the best and most versatile bass player PROBLY ON THE WHOLE WEST COAST!
  6. kyrk01


    May 24, 2007
    I feel a country song coming on. Care to co-write?
  7. Something VERY similar was posted in the 'Dumb Craig's List Ad' thread a few months ago
  8. groooooove

    groooooove Supporting Member

    Dec 17, 2008
    Long Island, NY
    your right, jazz or classical arent worth your time. nobody from Johannes Brahms to thelonious monk, have anything comparable to your awesome chops. im sure of it.

    why do i have the feeling you play with your strap really low?

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