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Who Wants to Give a Girl Relationship Advice?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Casting Thunder, Oct 28, 2013.


  1. Casting Thunder

    Casting Thunder

    Oct 7, 2012
    I like this guy in a couple of my college classes, the problem is that we're both really busy, and I'm personally not ready for a relationship. There's also the fact that I'm Asexual, so the chance of me sleeping with him in the next ten years are 0.000000000001%. I mean what college guy is going to put up with a sexless relationship? Heck I like this guy, I wouldn't want him go through that!

    Maybe he doesn't like me and is just really friendly, but in the off chance that he likes me what do I do to squish this thing?
     
  2. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Dec 1, 2008
    Just ignore him. If you shut him down, he'll go away.
     
  3. Blueszilla

    Blueszilla Bassist ordinaire

    Apr 2, 2003
    The Duke City
    Tell him the truth.
     


  4. Now tell me you're asexual...
     
  5. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Dec 1, 2008
    There's that. I get from the op that she doesn't really feel like divulging that much, though. If she does, then yeah, that would be the most efficient route to take.
     
  6. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    This.

    If I might ask, have you ever been in love before Thunder?
     
  7. Metalbasspro

    Metalbasspro

    Feb 9, 2009
    I would not worry about any of it until you figure out what you want :)
     
  8. Doctor_Clock

    Doctor_Clock The Moon Machine Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2013
    Brooklyn, NY
    Be friends, then it will be easier to tell him how you fell about relationships and what you want or don't. Be honest, and he shouldn't get the wrong signals or misread situations. This may be harder than it sounds for college age kids, but believe me it is good practice to insure proper communication with any friend or lover down the road (especially ten years from now) ;)
     
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    If you really like the guy, and want to keep him as a friend, then let down a couple of walls and be honest with him about the sex thing. Why risk losing someone you like altogether? You obviously care about him and like having him around. Sure, secrets are great. But friends are better. If I really liked spending time with someone I wouldn't let sex (or lack thereof) get in the way of a great friendship.

    Heck, I don't have sex with ANY of my male friends and we're OK with it. We stayed friends. ;)

    There's an old saying...... If you love something, set it free. I think this is BS. If you care about someone, just TELL him you care about him and be honest with him about why things can't go to the next level. You may wind up with one of the best friends you will ever have. Heck, you're trying to drive him away now so what do you have to lose?

    Sex isn't everything, even to people who have a preference. Don't assume he isn't any deeper than sex. That isn't fair. Assume he can handle being your friend anyway unless he proves you wrong.

    I am a hetero guy. I LOVE having female friends around with whom sex is not an option. I'm married and some of them are as well. So, sex will NEVER happen between me and them. We can just hang out. Girls/women are fun! So it's really cool to hang out with some and not worry about whether or not we will get naked...... or any of the complications that may arise from doing so. Now, we just hang out.

    Give him the chance to be your friend. You may actually hurt him more by driving him away than by telling him the cold hard facts and letting him decide what is next.
     
  10. If you aren't ready for a relationship, and it clearly isn't a sex thing, then why not just be chill out and be friends?

    Things might develop further depending when you feel ready for a relationship?

    (regardless of sexuality, trying to get into a relationship when you know you aren't ready, is a recipe for disaster, you need to be happy with you first IMO)
     
  11. Casting Thunder

    Casting Thunder

    Oct 7, 2012
    I think so. In high school there was this guy who just had the best smile. I'd do everything in my power to make him smile, and the left me feeling on top of the world for days afterwards. One day he told me about how he wanted 2.5 kids and the white picket fence and all that jazz. My response was "cool, I'll be traveling the world so don't forget to invite me to the wedding and hit me up if you or you future children ever need a kidney!"

    I knew I couldn't give him what he wanted, and was fine with it.

    The world's best smile feeling is along the lines of how I feel for this new guy.
     
  12. Tat2dHeart

    Tat2dHeart Only two strings away from an attitude problem.

    Just be yourself, be his friend and let him be your friend, and be honest about what you want and don't want in your life right now. Then relax and have fun. You're young and there's no hurry to jump into anything if it's not what you want.
     
  13. nortonrider

    nortonrider

    Nov 20, 2007
    Asexual?
    OK, I guess
     
  14. Typically someone with feels no sexual attraction (or very little).
     
  15. DerHoggz

    DerHoggz I like cats :| Banned

    Feb 13, 2009
    Western Pennsylvania
  16. nortonrider

    nortonrider

    Nov 20, 2007
    I took biology, I know what asexual means.

    I just wonder how long until the asexual rights parades are going to start.
     
  17. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    In what way might asexual persons not have rights equal to anyone else that is uncoupled or in a sexless relationship? Perhaps there are some Im not aware of.
     
  18. Mike M.

    Mike M.

    Feb 14, 2010
    Couldn't have said it better. Just be honest right from the get go. If he doesn't understand then it's his problem, not yours.
     
  19. nortonrider

    nortonrider

    Nov 20, 2007
    Everyone has kinks, I just don't believe that people should be given any special consideration for them.
    Parade away if that's what blows your skirt up.
     
  20. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Hmm, what if he is into you? What happens then?
    I guess Im curious in regards to the courting ritual of asexual people.
    Id presume you go out on some dates and have fun with each other. From there how do thing progress? What if he likes you and wants to continue seeing you?

    How far do you take things? Not having an interest in sex, do you enjoy kissing/making out and cuddling and other forms of affection?

    Sorry if I come off as ignorant, its just an area in which I have no knowledge.
    I did once know a guy who used to claim he was asexual, until he found a girl he liked that would put up with him.
     

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