Why are bassists always the smartest and best looking people in the band?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by mikeoso, Aug 3, 2018.


  1. Smart good looking people are attracted to the bass.

    54 vote(s)
    26.5%
  2. Playing bass makes you smart and good looking.

    44 vote(s)
    21.6%
  3. Only smart good looking people are capable of playing bass.

    60 vote(s)
    29.4%
  4. It's a mystery of nature..just be grateful and accept it.

    102 vote(s)
    50.0%
  5. Because carrots.

    45 vote(s)
    22.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. BurtMacklinFBI

    BurtMacklinFBI Degen from Up-Country

    Apr 3, 2018
    dp-popcorn-gwar-1014.jpg

    It's true.
     
  2. hondo4life

    hondo4life

    Feb 29, 2016
    SC
    Does casting multiple votes make my vote choice more or less important than casting a single vote? How do I quantify the effect of casting multiple votes on the balance of the results, and my power as a voter? I am a bass player, and I am not smart enough to figure this out. Shop smart, shop S-Mart.
     
    BurtMacklinFBI likes this.
  3. juggahnaught

    juggahnaught

    Feb 11, 2018
    Seattle, WA
    I don't know about the rest of you, but I always try to surround myself with dumber, uglier musicians with inferior instruments.

    The other musicians still get all the attention and the credit, though. Still working on that...
     
  4. BurtMacklinFBI

    BurtMacklinFBI Degen from Up-Country

    Apr 3, 2018
    You sound suspiciously like you may be.... butthurt. Are you SURE you're a bass player?
     
  5. IamGroot

    IamGroot

    Jan 18, 2018
    You ever notice when the band is all one gender except for the lead singer.....
    Skip ahead to 1:00

     
  6. hondo4life

    hondo4life

    Feb 29, 2016
    SC
    On my way home from work, I bought an entire pint of German Chocolate Cake ice cream at Baskin Robbins. Does that answer your inquiry?
     
  7. hondo4life

    hondo4life

    Feb 29, 2016
    SC
    Everyone in that band has totally awesome hair.
     
    IamGroot likes this.
  8. In some cases being invisible makes you the best looking person in the band.
     
    Usidore T Blue, gln1955 and Lobster11 like this.
  9. I was always told I was the best looking in the band. I believed it...... so there goes the being smart part.
     
    Lobster11 and Verb the Noun like this.
  10. Why are bassists always the smartest and best looking people in the band?
    All those cringeworthy, dorky and un-funny memes on the various Bass-oriented FB groups would suggest otherwise
     
  11. northpaul

    northpaul Supporting Member

    Feb 4, 2006
    New Jersey, USA
    Because we are next to guitarists and drummers so it isn’t hard to achieve that appearance even if it isn’t true.
     
    RaggaDruida likes this.
  12. Usidore T Blue

    Usidore T Blue

    Jun 28, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2018
    Plectrum72 likes this.
  13. fhm555

    fhm555 So FOS my eyes are brown Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2011
    I know right. Like Jay Leno. Not a killer talent like Jeff Beck, but good enough to land a job that allows him to indulge his true passion. He was an auto mechanic (Mercedes I think) before he got into show biz.
     
    Funky Ghost likes this.
  14. Tim Skaggs

    Tim Skaggs

    Sep 28, 2002
    Doesn't work in my band. The drummer is the pretty boy, but I think I might have him on smarts......
     
  15. JeezyMcNuggles

    JeezyMcNuggles Supporting Member

    Feb 23, 2018
    Santa Maria, CA
    I suck, but nobody really notices
    Because I play bass
     
  16. Nashrakh

    Nashrakh

    Aug 16, 2008
    Hamburg, Germany
    As far as I've come to experience, saxophonists are, right next to guitarists, the kind of people who will do and especially BUY anything in order to improve their sound except to actually practice and work on their skills. Endless discussions about mouthpieces, reeds, ligatures (refer to the power ring posted above).

    Ask me how I know... :laugh:
     
    Steadfast likes this.
  17. squidtastic

    squidtastic Supporting Member

    Apr 23, 2013
    Well trolled. :thumbsup:
     
    Steadfast likes this.
  18. Steadfast

    Steadfast

    Sep 28, 2015
    Search Me
    This why I don't spend time on sax forums. I have the same sax and mouthpiece since the early 1980's. I am from the era when sax players sounded like men. Don't get me started. Lolololol
     
  19. Acoop

    Acoop

    Feb 21, 2012
    Why are drummers over-weight and guitar players have bad skin, one of those freaks of nature I guess. ... Though I did hear, once, of a balding bassist but, I'm not too sure exactly what happened to him. He might have switched to keyboards, a good stationary instrument.
     
  20. BK bassist

    BK bassist Schroeder Cabinets endorsing artist Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 20, 2017
    Brooklyn, NY
    I’d forego any and all future gig coin to charity or even to the rest of my band if they’d let me gig in cargo shorts and sandals ....

    I’ll agree with the previous post about us generally being the “biggest” ones in the band. :bassist:
     
    Lobster11 likes this.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
    Jul 26, 2021

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