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Why can't metal bands be happy they are playing metal?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by fenderhutz, Sep 22, 2008.


  1. fenderhutz

    fenderhutz Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    Harpers Ferry WV
    I was looking at some sites for Metal bands and every single site the promo photos were the "Angry Band" pics.

    I find it slightly amusing and started laughing at most of the photos. Look mad for the camera, PERFECT!
     
  2. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    It's the third part of the triumvirate:

    1) brick wall
    2) train tracks
    3) look mad

    no idea. it is funny most times though.
     
  3. fenderhutz

    fenderhutz Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    Harpers Ferry WV
    If brick wall is not available, replace with falling apart stone structure. As in an old church.

    Must wear black clothes OR a an obscure Dutch metal band T-Shirt for "street cred".
     
  4. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    also, if you go back in time to dim and weird part of human history, called the 80's, cover everything with leather, and preferably, metal spiky studs.
     
  5. fenderhutz

    fenderhutz Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    Harpers Ferry WV
    Font for band name must either look like it is seeping liquid to mimic blood or or have sharp pointy edges to emulate a device of torture.
     
  6. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Being completely legible = bad. You must work for it.
     
  7. brianrost

    brianrost Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2000
    Boston, Taxachusetts
    Aw c'mon it's just part of the image.

    How about all the angry or violent terms used for bass gear...your arsenal, pummel the audience with brutal bass tone...etc.
     
  8. Mwaaahaha! This is so true. I used to be in a metal band and always got flak for not looking "metal" enough. The vocalist wore dredlocks, tattoos, piercings, goatee, and here I am, jeans and a t-shirt. I've never seen a music scene MORE concerned about image than the metal scene.
     
  9. dave64o

    dave64o Talkbass Top 10 all time lowest talent/gear ratio! Gold Supporting Member

    Jun 15, 2000
    Southern NJ

    Don't forget the umlauts. Lots and lots of umlauts.

    Dammit, I'm going to form a metal band just to name ourselves "umlaut". It wouldn't be spelled out, it would just be an umlaut - WITH ANOTHER UMLAUT OVER IT!!!


    Now THAT would be metal!!!!! :bassist:


    EDIT - Just to clarify ... My post implies that I'm making fun of metal, which I am. :D However, that doesn't mean I hate it or look down at it or those who love it. Progressive rock might be my favorite genre, but I *do* like metal and have a growing collection of it.
     
  10. Phantopeth

    Phantopeth

    Jan 10, 2006
    Brooklyn, NY
    hahhaa, dam I wish I thought of that!

    What people need to learn to bring back is the Metallica strained neck, crushing beer cans look. That's where it's at!
     
  11. IanStephenson

    IanStephenson UnRegistered User

    Apr 8, 2006
    Back in the 80's there were loads of PARTY metal bands. Then Nirvanna happened, and now you're not allowed to play any kind of rock and ENJOY yourself.

    It sucks
     
  12. brothernewt

    brothernewt Some people call me the stormtrooper of love...

    Apr 13, 2004
    Happyrock, OR
    'cause happy metal = bon jovi... and nobody wants that!
     
  13. Yngwie 4String

    Yngwie 4String Banned

    May 3, 2007
    Auburn Nebraska
    SLAYER IS HAPPY (at least Tom is):

    slayer_reign_in_blood_back.
     
  14. baalroo

    baalroo

    Mar 24, 2008
    Wichita, KS
    That could easily be a cover photo for Teen Beat magazine.
     
  15. sarcastro83

    sarcastro83

    Jul 27, 2007
    Toronto, ON
    If you're a more tongue-in-cheek, self-aware metal band willing to poke fun at the stone-facedness of the genre, you could call yourselves "Umlaut du Fromage".
     
  16. dave64o

    dave64o Talkbass Top 10 all time lowest talent/gear ratio! Gold Supporting Member

    Jun 15, 2000
    Southern NJ
    The "du Fromage" part is French so that just won't work for metal. It's got to be German to have cred - Umlaut des Käses. :D
     
  17. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    I found this pretty funny.
    [​IMG]
     
  18. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Or this
    g34.
     
  19. No kidding and yet that's them from the Reign in Blood era. Single handidly the scariest, nastiest metal album ever made. Check out the dudes on the cover carrying the devil/demon in the chair. They got wood. Now that's hilarious!
     
  20. hey

    hey

    Jul 8, 2006
    Wisconsin
    Or this:
    [​IMG]

    Or, um ,this:

    33011_photo.
     

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