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Why did the chicken cross the road? (funny)

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Garrett Mireles, Aug 23, 2004.


  1. Found this on the net.


    > So Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
    >
    >
    > GEORGE W BUSH
    >
    > We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
    > know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Our side of the
    > road is the right side of the road and the chicken is either against us
    > or for us. There is no middle ground for any chicken.
    >
    >
    > COLIN POWELL
    >
    > Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
    > of the chicken crossing the road.
    >
    > DONALD RUMSFELD
    >
    > I have known about the chicken crossing the road for several months. I
    > was investigating why the chicken moved but didn't feel it was
    > necessary to alert anyone.
    >
    >
    > HANS BLIX
    >
    > We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    > allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
    >
    >
    > JOHN KERRY
    >
    > Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!
    >
    >
    >
    > RALPH NADER
    >
    > The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted
    > by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
    > habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
    > wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
    >
    >
    >
    > PAT BUCHANAN
    >
    > To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    >
    >
    >
    > RUSH LIMBAUGH
    >
    > I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
    > getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that
    > somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
    > with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?How much more of
    > this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
    > their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
    > money, money the government took from you to build road for chickens to
    > cross.
    >
    >
    >
    > MARTHA STEWART
    >
    > No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    > standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
    > dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any inside information.
    >
    >
    >
    > DR SEUSS
    >
    > Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    > chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
    >
    >
    > ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    >
    > To die in the rain. Alone.
    >
    >
    >
    > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
    >
    > I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
    > without having their motives called into question.
    >
    >
    >
    > GRANDPA
    >
    > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
    > told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
    >
    >
    > BARBARA WALTERS
    >
    > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    > chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
    > experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
    > life long dream of crossing the road.
    >
    >
    >
    > JOHN LENNON
    > Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together -- in peace.
    >
    >
    >
    > ARISTOTLE
    >
    > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    >
    >
    >
    > KARL MARX
    >
    > It was a historic inevitability.
    >
    >
    >
    > CAPTAIN KIRK
    >
    > To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
    >
    >
    >
    > SIGMOND FREUD
    >
    > The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
    > road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
    >
    >
    >
    > BILL GATES
    >
    > I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads,
    > but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    > checkbook... and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
    >
    >
    >
    > ALBERT EINSTEIN
    >
    > Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    > chicken?
    >
    >
    >
    > BILL CLINTON
    >
    > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    > chicken?
    >
    >
    >
    > AL GORE
    >
    > That was my chicken! I invented the chicken.
    >
    >
    >
    > COLONEL SANDERS
    >
    > Did I miss one?
     
  2. Where's that welcome to last year pic? ;)

    Hasn't been posted here though, as far as I know.