1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

Why do girls get shocked when I tell them I like them?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Siggy_Bass, Aug 23, 2007.

  1. Second big crush of my life and she does it by the book, exactly the same as the first.

    First they tell me how increadible shocked they am, and how they didnt see it coming.

    Then they tell me how great I am, and that I will find a perfect girl some time.

    And then its back to the dreaded friend zone again, but this time with me feeling like an idiot every time I am around them.

    I mean come on girls! If I am that horrible/ugly, why cant you just be honest! Atleast I was!

    Meh.. rant of the day
  2. Vince S.

    Vince S. Resident Former Bassist

    Jan 24, 2003
    I think flat out telling her is the most awkward thing one can do. I think the flirting/testing the waters method is much better and safer.

    I'll wait for the Talkbass cassanovas to answer this though.
  3. Well I thought I was in the flirting/testing zone when somebody calls you regularly at 4 am, and sends you 30 messages a day.. But I guess not :(
  4. Vince S.

    Vince S. Resident Former Bassist

    Jan 24, 2003
    Well, I meant more like physical flirting; ie. the smiling/laughing, knee touching, hugs, etc. I can see how the early morning phone calls and messages can be a lead-on though. If I may ask, what did you talk about in those conversations? It sounds as if she might have been using you as an emotional tampon.

    Also, I'd use the search feature and search OT for these kinds of topics. I believe there's been about three in the past week alone. Very useful and handy advice to be found!
  5. Scarlet Fire

    Scarlet Fire

    Mar 31, 2007
    New England
    No, no, no, no, NO. You never actually come out and tell them you like them this early in the game. That only scares them away.

    Try this next time:

    You are sitting alone together. Start stroking her hair. If she rejects it, then you have no chance. If she accepts it, go for the metaphorical kill.
  6. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Do you make sure you brush your teeth before you tell them?
  7. marcray


    Nov 28, 2006
    Englishman in Oyster Bay, NY
    Aging Former Bass Player
    you're biggest mistake was being a friend in the first place... don't you know to get the girl you have to be completely indifferent to their very existence...
  8. Don't end the sentence with a wiggling suggestive tongue outside of your lips!
  9. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Seriously though, you are from Norway. Hit them over the head with your club and drag them off to your longboat like your ancestors did. And make sure you wear your horned hat when you do it.
  10. Because you tell them at the drive-thru window before they hand you the food. Dude - you gotta wait until after the food exchange has happened.
  11. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Fire in the hole........
  12. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    That used to happen to me quite a bit. Best I could figure is that I'm hideous. Have you tried unattractive women?? I always seem to have the best luck with unattractive women.
  13. Seriously though, relationships are hard, especially making the move from "friend" to "more-than-friend". When someone just wants to be a friend, they usually don't think about the more-than-friend option and are taken aback when/if the other brings it up.

    It's best for you to be honest and I don't think you're wrong to expect them to be honest too.

    Good Luck.
  14. Johnny Fila

    Johnny Fila Formerly "The Crusader" Supporting Member

    Nov 21, 2004
    Elmont, NY (near NYC)
    I am a Viking
    come hear my thunder:p
  15. Oh, and it ain't you...it's them. You are a nordic god.
  16. Johnny Fila

    Johnny Fila Formerly "The Crusader" Supporting Member

    Nov 21, 2004
    Elmont, NY (near NYC)
    well, I think that what we need to do here is for you to post a picture of yourself............then we will fix you up
  17. disenchant

    disenchant You can't plagiarize yourself.

    Aug 9, 2006
    Elgin, IL
    #1 She's not actually surprised. No girl ever is. We all know when you like us. The surprised thing is to "save face" when we have to reject you. We pretend we "had no idea!" just so we won't get in trouble for leading you on.

    #2 If she's giving you signals but then backs out when you tell her you like her then she was using you for male attention or emotional support or as a "backup" in case her real crush doesn't like her. Girls like to have one on the line and one swimming around nearby just in case. The extra one can be used as a confidence booster, emotional support, booty call, backup date or to make the other guy jealous.

    #3 Be careful she doesn't use you as a yo-yo. Pushing you away when you try to get close, but then when you end the game by not being her friend she'll pull you back in. DON'T FALL FOR IT!!

    #4 Not all girls are like that, but some are. And girls are more like that when they are younger. Wanting to have a backup comes from inexperience and the need to be emotionally supported by a guy. As girls get older they become more confident. Not to say an older woman doesn't like male attention (we all do) but give it some time. Girls need to mature, just like guys. And games are all a part of growing up.
  18. jady


    Jul 21, 2006
    Modesto, CA


    Coffee out the nose!!!!!!
  19. BassChuck

    BassChuck Supporting Member

    Nov 15, 2005
    Your life will change when you find that unattractive women do it just as well as attractive ones (sometimes better).
  20. All I want to say is that I have a full beard.. Doesnt that give me some freaking rights? (Gotten me sex before, why wont it work now?)

Share This Page