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Why do people ask for opinions and then argue or dismiss them?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by lfmn16, Jul 6, 2020.

  1. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    Rhetorical question, of course.

    I should know what it really means when people ask for opinions, but I sometimes forget and offer an opinion anyway.

    Most of the time I wish I hadn't.

    The guitar is too loud - "We like it that way."

    The guitar tone is too thin - "It helps it cut through."

    That's a fake fender - "But what about ..."

    I like the tort pick guard with that color - "But everyone has a tort pick guard."

    That's not a great song to play with a three piece band - "But you can play anything with a three piece band."

    I don't think that song works with your setlist - "But we like variety."

    OK, getting off my soapbox.

    Now get off my lawn!
  2. Gorn

    Gorn Supporting Member

    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    If I think it's awesome and I ask you what you think, either I'm expecting you to think it's awesome cuz I know you like awesome stuff, or I'm expecting you to think it sucks because I kinda think you suck. Everyone one of us could benefit from stepping back and looking at any given situation objectively. It's not intuitive or easy.
  3. FunkHead

    FunkHead Supporting Member

    Mar 10, 2007
    It’s one thing to reject an opinion but some people will then get rude.
    A guy the other day called someone a jerk after he gave an opinion.
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2020
    RodRy, 4-stringB, sludgetail and 6 others like this.
  4. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    I don't agree. :D
    RodRy, McTred, Guild B301 and 8 others like this.
  5. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member


    in the child-like areas/recesses of our minds/brains is the constant, consistent, prevailing, persistent, overarching, ubiquitous, all-encompassing, never-resting, unresolved question: "do you love me?"

    folks often appear to be asking questions for information/knowledge when they are actually asking for affirmation and approval --- so that they don't have to ask the real question outright: "do you love me?"

    adults who are not grownups have no way of rationalizing the absence of an answer from the objective world.
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2020
  6. Peteyboy


    Apr 2, 2018
    Los Angeles
    I know what you're talking about and I agree that the opinion that was given was phrased in a less-than tactful way. It's easy for relatively anonymous people to be cavalier about the way they phrase things.
    RodRy, Jeff Scott, HolmeBass and 3 others like this.
  7. AFalseDichotomy


    Jun 11, 2020
    Especially prevalent in a field like music, where "objective truth" is hard to find, and almost everything boils down largely to personal preference. It feels pretty great when your personal preference gets validated, although that comes at the expense of actually learning and expanding your musicality.
    RodRy, ThinCrappyTone, GTx2 and 2 others like this.
  8. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    This. Exactly this.

    Exactly all of this.
    RodRy, FilterFunk, Ekulati and 2 others like this.
  9. Koshchei


    Mar 17, 2019
    Peterborough, ON
    I need you to affirm the dubious choice that I'm having second thoughts about. Since I don't have a strong sense of self, I'm going to take anything other than a strong positive as an attack on my identity, which is wrapped up in my dubious choice. I will then respond with a personal comment, after which I will beat a hasty retreat to a social media platform with an algorithm that only tells me things that I want to hear until I regain my composure.
    DirtDog, RodRy, spvmhc and 11 others like this.
  10. jallenbass

    jallenbass Supporting Member Commercial User

    May 17, 2005
    Bend, Oregon
    They like to argue?
    red_rhino, Rabidhamster and lfmn16 like this.
  11. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy


    djaxup, mikewalker, McTred and 7 others like this.
  12. cnltb


    May 28, 2005
    Why do people ask for opinions and then argue or dismiss them?
    no better ideas/24 hours in a day.
    Charlzm and Rabidhamster like this.
  13. 350125g0


    Mar 4, 2020
    People crave the confirmation of their biases because it's far easier than actually changing the way you think about/do something. Change is hard for a lot of people, I think.
    spvmhc, SactoBass, Guild B301 and 4 others like this.
  14. knumbskull


    Jul 28, 2007
    there was a thread a while ago that went something like this:

    Thread for carrot lovers!
    [a few pages of carrot related chit chat]
    [enter Poster A]
    Poster A: carrots are stupid and anyone who likes them is stupid. LOL.
    Poster B: that is unhelpful and brings nothing to the discussion.

    ... and so on. i'm exaggerating but you get the point!

    (this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, it just amused me at the time...)
    RodRy, mikewalker, Guild B301 and 2 others like this.
  15. Because they don’t really want your opinion, they want your validation.
    smart51, spvmhc, sludgetail and 27 others like this.
  16. red_rhino

    red_rhino Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TB. Gold Supporting Member

    Because we love rhetorical questions. Now stop asking them. ;)
    RodRy, mikewalker and Guild B301 like this.
  17. I'd like to buy an argument please.......
    Look ..if were going to have an argument I have to take up a contrary position.

    Yes but an argument isn't just saying "No it isnt"

    Yes it is.

    NO IT ISN'T!!!
    RodRy, mikewalker, SactoBass and 9 others like this.
  18. Lost In Time

    Lost In Time

    Oct 28, 2019
    Thread was made so he could make this joke.
    RodRy, mikewalker, red_rhino and 3 others like this.
  19. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    You're wrong too. :D
    RodRy, red_rhino, Blueinred and 2 others like this.
  20. A friend of mine once told me “you can’t have an argument when you have to provide the brains for both parties.”

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