Why don't people talk anymore?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Raymeous, Jul 19, 2013.

  1. Raymeous

    Raymeous Guest

    Jul 2, 2010
    San Diego
    I don't get it! People today seem to refuse to TALK to each other. Instead they text or post on Facebook, and then wonder why things get messed up. Pick up the phone and talk to people!

    Ok so this is a bit of rant, but there is a point to be made at the end so please bear with me.

    Basically I'm a little frustrated with a family bombshell that landed on me at midnight last night/this morning. This is of the permanently disowned variety, and could have been avoided if the players had acted their age instead of like school children.

    Ok to protect the "innocent" I'll do it like this:

    Person A is dating (and made baby with) Person B's brother. Person A and B's brother are now living the good little suburbanite life and the family has accepted Person A into their world with open arms. A & B have not really ever talked; I mean they've been in the same room maybe 5 times. It's not a bad relationship up to this point, just a nonexistent one.

    Person B has been living under the shadow of the family's "Golden Child", her brother. An example of the favoritism is that even though she scored higher in her SAT's than her brother, dad and stepmom paid for his college in full, while not paying anything for hers. As a child she also went through a rough life dealing with an ugly divorce of her parents and her mom’s abusive boyfriend. All of this has given her a hard edge and a rather black and white view point of things. She's a tough girl on the outside, but is fragile on the inside if you know what I mean.

    Person A called Person B while drunk a week ago and read Person B the riot act "You're no good and will never amount to anything" speech. Obviously Person B is hurt and pissed. The brother calls and apologizes for Person A. Person B accepts with a grain of salt.

    Person A then sends a TEXT apology a week later (yesterday). Person B then sends back a very long winded and eloquent "apology not accepted" and while there wasn't any mudslinging there was definitely some "F-U" attitude in it. Person A then responds with a "You'll never see your nephew again". Having read the exchange, B brings up many good points like "you don't know a thing about me" and "First you made my brother apologize for you, then you wait a week to talk to me about it?" but she definitely should have handled it with a bit more tact than she did.

    Anyway, last night I was awoken at around 12:30 with an "I've been disowned" and "she's the daughter they really wanted, not me" text. This of course is the first I'd heard of it. That's when I was sent a bit of the texts of the back and forth. Apparently after this mess, Person B has been unfriended by Person A, her brother, and her stepmother, and will never see her 1 year old nephew again. Really?!

    Person A is in the wrong for the original drunken "you’re no good" thing
    Person B is in the wrong for her "apology not accepted" thing.
    B's brother is stuck in the middle, and siding with his girl
    The stepmom is astounding to me, but she and Person B never really got along so I'm not too surprised.

    What a wacky world. :rollno:

    PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!!! TALK TO EACH OTHER! Jeeez! Texting is NOT talking to each other. If distance makes it impossible to do it face to face pick up the phone and CALL THEM!!! For the techno lovers SKYPE it.

    I know it has been discussed several times already but .... I'm using this real world example of how people’s feelings get hurt and stuff just gets all blown out of proportion when it doesn't need to be that way. If your band is experiencing some drama, even if it's just light weight stuff, you really need to talk to the people involved face to face, and not via text.

    Simply talk to them.

    I need stiff drink. :meh:
  2. Joe Louvar

    Joe Louvar Guest

    Jun 6, 2011
    Santa Rosa, CA USA
    FWIW: That’s way to much drama - I’d fire all of them today or quit and never look back.

    PS: and stay sober!!!
  3. pdusen


    Aug 18, 2004
    The only way that talking face to face would have prevented anything is if for some reason they would have been nicer to each other in person... and your story provided no evidence of that.
  4. nutdog

    nutdog when I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone

    Feb 19, 2009
    in the dog house
    Are you guys in a band called Alphabet Soup?

    Seriously, you should have called us about this.
  5. D.A.R.K.

    D.A.R.K. Supporting Member

    Aug 20, 2003
    Does B help load or pay for the pa rig?
  6. Itzayana

    Itzayana Guest

    Aug 15, 2012
    Oakland Ca
    Don't you find it somewhat ironic that you are WRITING about why people "just don't talk"?
    Shouldn't you really be TALKING to someone about it?
  7. Slough Feg Bass

    Slough Feg Bass Supporting Member

    Sep 28, 2007
    San Francisco
    If you are the BL, then let them go. If not, then if you wanna play with them, you have to cut them some slack on these things.
  8. Raymeous

    Raymeous Guest

    Jul 2, 2010
    San Diego
    Well it's not a band thing it's a family drama issue, used to make a point regarding how things can get all F'd up when people don't talk. If this was a band thing then it would be no issue as I'd have been out the door a long time ago.

    And yes the irony of me posting a thread about talking to people instead of texting has not escaped me.

    My involvement started last night, as in 12-12:30 in the morning. So I didn't call the parties involved although I did try calling Person B when I got the first text, but she wouldn't answer and just kept talking to me via text. Well if she's not going to talk on the phone, I'll talk to her via text if that's how she chooses to operate. I did find out from her around 2am that she didn't want to talk on the phone because she was crying.


    Like I said it's mostly just me venting a bit.
  9. Joe Louvar

    Joe Louvar Guest

    Jun 6, 2011
    Santa Rosa, CA USA
    Hmm, you say it’s not a band problem - but wait and see what happens at your next rehearsal or gig (if not sooner).

    Good luck bro.
  10. I can't stand talking on the phone. I much prefer sending emails and IMs. But I will agree that text messaging is absurd.

    If there is a problem, people should discuss it at length, whether it's in person, on the phone, in letters, emails, etc. Text messaging, by nature, is meant to be a "shortcut" to communication.
  11. The ONLY time I'll ever receive a text regarding band business is if I'm out & about and not near my home phone. We've had many, many conference calls regarding band business. Besides a face-to-face, that's the best way to handle it all. Besides, if any of that texting/email mumbo jumbo were to come up regarding band (or personal, for that matter) business, I'd get laughed outta the room. They're all old-school, face-to-face kinda guys.
  12. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    Anyone noticed the upswing in sales of looper pedals and solo acts?

    So much better, no need for all this pesky communication.
  13. spz8


    Jan 19, 2009
    Glen Cove, NY
    Ugh. Drama, drama, and more drama. How to resolve...

    Avoid alcohol
    Avoid texting
    Avoid Facebook

    and finally, just walk away...

    Attached Files:

  14. b_carville


    Jun 26, 2008
    It seems that people don't have real friends or relationships anymore or problems anymore they prefer virtual ones.
  15. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    Yeah. Preferably on Talkbass. ;)
  16. quiltkitty

    quiltkitty Guest

    Apr 24, 2013
    Old Hickory, TN USA
    These people sound like a-holes. And, like you, the texting, Facebooking thing drives me up a freaking wall. People are forever asking me why I am not and Facebook and then follow the question with a story like yours. "Well, did you hear yourself? THAT is why I am not on Facebook." They still don't get it.
  17. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    How is text messaging any different from IM?
  18. Bradass

    Bradass Guest

    Oct 17, 2011
    Tallahassee, FL
    Wait, is any of this actually about people in a band?
  19. JakeF

    JakeF Guest

    Apr 3, 2012
    If these people communicated the situation would have never gotten this far along to begin with.

    When people only confront issues during crisis/drunkeness they don't have to admit what they are really feeling.

    This is the symptoms of dishonesty with oneself. Their is nothing you can do here unless you want to be the bad guy and hold their feet to the fire.
  20. Floyd Eye

    Floyd Eye Inactive

    Feb 21, 2010
    St. Louis
    I much prefer texting to talking. Pretty simple really. I can respond at my leisure or not at all. It's less time consuming too since most people are a pain in the ass to get off the phone with. When you're done texting, you simply stop texting.