I don't get it! People today seem to refuse to TALK to each other. Instead they text or post on Facebook, and then wonder why things get messed up. Pick up the phone and talk to people! Ok so this is a bit of rant, but there is a point to be made at the end so please bear with me. Basically I'm a little frustrated with a family bombshell that landed on me at midnight last night/this morning. This is of the permanently disowned variety, and could have been avoided if the players had acted their age instead of like school children. Ok to protect the "innocent" I'll do it like this: BACKSTORY: Person A is dating (and made baby with) Person B's brother. Person A and B's brother are now living the good little suburbanite life and the family has accepted Person A into their world with open arms. A & B have not really ever talked; I mean they've been in the same room maybe 5 times. It's not a bad relationship up to this point, just a nonexistent one. Person B has been living under the shadow of the family's "Golden Child", her brother. An example of the favoritism is that even though she scored higher in her SAT's than her brother, dad and stepmom paid for his college in full, while not paying anything for hers. As a child she also went through a rough life dealing with an ugly divorce of her parents and her moms abusive boyfriend. All of this has given her a hard edge and a rather black and white view point of things. She's a tough girl on the outside, but is fragile on the inside if you know what I mean. THE DRAMA: Person A called Person B while drunk a week ago and read Person B the riot act "You're no good and will never amount to anything" speech. Obviously Person B is hurt and pissed. The brother calls and apologizes for Person A. Person B accepts with a grain of salt. Person A then sends a TEXT apology a week later (yesterday). Person B then sends back a very long winded and eloquent "apology not accepted" and while there wasn't any mudslinging there was definitely some "F-U" attitude in it. Person A then responds with a "You'll never see your nephew again". Having read the exchange, B brings up many good points like "you don't know a thing about me" and "First you made my brother apologize for you, then you wait a week to talk to me about it?" but she definitely should have handled it with a bit more tact than she did. Anyway, last night I was awoken at around 12:30 with an "I've been disowned" and "she's the daughter they really wanted, not me" text. This of course is the first I'd heard of it. That's when I was sent a bit of the texts of the back and forth. Apparently after this mess, Person B has been unfriended by Person A, her brother, and her stepmother, and will never see her 1 year old nephew again. Really?! Person A is in the wrong for the original drunken "youre no good" thing Person B is in the wrong for her "apology not accepted" thing. B's brother is stuck in the middle, and siding with his girl The stepmom is astounding to me, but she and Person B never really got along so I'm not too surprised. What a wacky world. PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!!! TALK TO EACH OTHER! Jeeez! Texting is NOT talking to each other. If distance makes it impossible to do it face to face pick up the phone and CALL THEM!!! For the techno lovers SKYPE it. BACK TO MUSIC: I know it has been discussed several times already but .... I'm using this real world example of how peoples feelings get hurt and stuff just gets all blown out of proportion when it doesn't need to be that way. If your band is experiencing some drama, even if it's just light weight stuff, you really need to talk to the people involved face to face, and not via text. Simply talk to them. I need stiff drink.
FWIW: That’s way to much drama - I’d fire all of them today or quit and never look back. PS: and stay sober!!!
The only way that talking face to face would have prevented anything is if for some reason they would have been nicer to each other in person... and your story provided no evidence of that.
Don't you find it somewhat ironic that you are WRITING about why people "just don't talk"? Shouldn't you really be TALKING to someone about it?
If you are the BL, then let them go. If not, then if you wanna play with them, you have to cut them some slack on these things.
Well it's not a band thing it's a family drama issue, used to make a point regarding how things can get all F'd up when people don't talk. If this was a band thing then it would be no issue as I'd have been out the door a long time ago. And yes the irony of me posting a thread about talking to people instead of texting has not escaped me. My involvement started last night, as in 12-12:30 in the morning. So I didn't call the parties involved although I did try calling Person B when I got the first text, but she wouldn't answer and just kept talking to me via text. Well if she's not going to talk on the phone, I'll talk to her via text if that's how she chooses to operate. I did find out from her around 2am that she didn't want to talk on the phone because she was crying. Frustrating. Like I said it's mostly just me venting a bit.
Hmm, you say it’s not a band problem - but wait and see what happens at your next rehearsal or gig (if not sooner). Good luck bro.
I can't stand talking on the phone. I much prefer sending emails and IMs. But I will agree that text messaging is absurd. If there is a problem, people should discuss it at length, whether it's in person, on the phone, in letters, emails, etc. Text messaging, by nature, is meant to be a "shortcut" to communication.
The ONLY time I'll ever receive a text regarding band business is if I'm out & about and not near my home phone. We've had many, many conference calls regarding band business. Besides a face-to-face, that's the best way to handle it all. Besides, if any of that texting/email mumbo jumbo were to come up regarding band (or personal, for that matter) business, I'd get laughed outta the room. They're all old-school, face-to-face kinda guys.
Anyone noticed the upswing in sales of looper pedals and solo acts? So much better, no need for all this pesky communication.
Ugh. Drama, drama, and more drama. How to resolve... Avoid alcohol Avoid texting Avoid Facebook and finally, just walk away...
It seems that people don't have real friends or relationships anymore or problems anymore they prefer virtual ones.
These people sound like a-holes. And, like you, the texting, Facebooking thing drives me up a freaking wall. People are forever asking me why I am not and Facebook and then follow the question with a story like yours. "Well, did you hear yourself? THAT is why I am not on Facebook." They still don't get it.
If these people communicated the situation would have never gotten this far along to begin with. When people only confront issues during crisis/drunkeness they don't have to admit what they are really feeling. This is the symptoms of dishonesty with oneself. Their is nothing you can do here unless you want to be the bad guy and hold their feet to the fire.
I much prefer texting to talking. Pretty simple really. I can respond at my leisure or not at all. It's less time consuming too since most people are a pain in the ass to get off the phone with. When you're done texting, you simply stop texting.