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Why I do not want to be a plumber.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by fettbass, Jul 20, 2007.


  1. So I woke up at around 5 this morning, thirsty as anything, and needing to use the....facilities, for lack of a better word. A little backstory, if you will. My sister is staying at my house for about a month and she neglected to tell me that she caused a bit of a blockage in the toilet earlier. So I head into the washroom, find a clogged toilet, and decide, at around 5 am, that it would be a great idea to go ahead and try to unclog it - why not, right? So there I am, plunging away, and this toilet does NOT want to come unclogged. Eventually the stench gets the better of me, and after about 5 minutes, I begin to throw up - HARD. Now I'm not talking a little bit, I mean a full on projectile stream. So now the washroom is covered in not one but two kinds of human refuse inside of 5 minutes, and this is all at 5 am. THANKS SIS. I guess I'll clean up the vomit, call a plumber, and leave a little thank you note for my sister on the door to the washroom.
     
  2. Barfly

    Barfly

    Dec 27, 2000
    GTA, Canada
    Sweet.
     
  3. Bryan316

    Bryan316 Banned

    Dec 20, 2006
    Detroit
    Wake her dumb ass up, throw the plunger into her hands, and FORCE her to go fix her own damned mistake!
     
  4. Rodent

    Rodent A Killer Pickup Line™ Commercial User

    Dec 20, 2004
    Upper Left Corner (Seattle)
    Player-Builder-Founder: Honey Badger Pickups & Regenerate Guitar Works
    and let her know that those "hygene accessories" are to be disposed of in the trash, NOT the toilet

    all the best,

    R
     
  5. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    Had it been my brother...I would've saved a bit of vomit for him.

    *Brief thread hi-jackage...
    Has anyone noticed that in general, can't say "all", but in general, girls are rather nasty in the bathroom. I helped a friend open/run a new bar in my hometown for quite a while and I found on my trips to the bathroom at the end of the night that the women's room consistently smelled worse, had the most toilet issues, and was always ran-sacked full of trash EVERYwhere. True, the guy's room sometimes had some urine on the floor. That's not a problem a little cleaner and clorox can't fix but the women's room...woof.
     
  6. The plumber should get the thank-you note- or better yet, a tip. The sis should get a blanket party(see Full Metal Jacket or Stalag 17).
    A plumber friend used to say 'Your sh*t is our bread & butter!' :eek:
     
  7. Yes, especially at home. LAST thing I need upon entering the crapper for the mornin pee is to be confronted with the implements of torture utilized by the two women in my house, in war with whatever orifice they are at odds with that day...be it from Q-tips to corks.... and yeah, You don't have to squat at home, I don't pee on the seat, neither should you. ;)
     
  8. RWP

    RWP

    Jul 1, 2006
    :D At least. ;)
     
  9. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    If that wasn't so nasty, I would be sigging that in a heartbeat, dude! Thanks for the laugh!
    <wiping away spewed coffee..>
     
  10. :) If the images weren't burned into my mind, I'd be laughing with ya....

    HA!
     
  11. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    So your sister drops a monster log and doesn't even have the courtesy to fix it for herself? :rollno:
     
  12. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    Well, its a combination of that, maybe, but its mainly her murdering babies and disposing of the evidence down the...how do they call in the uk, the leu?
     
  13. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    I suppose you mean the loo? The bog?

    Or in Newcastle, the khazi or the netty...
     
  14. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    Precisely
     
  15. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    A friend of mine did his work experience with a plumber. Apart from the usual fitting of pipes and fiddling with boilers (not that kind!), he said he saw gardens flooded with faeces, smelled the horrors of blocked drains and generally saw some not so wonderful things. I guess when you're a plumber full time you're just not bothered!
     
  16. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    Either that or you're stoned.
     
  17. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    Yep, though I doubt they're stoned, they have to be waaaay to precise with maths, and so I doubt they can afford to fry their brains with drugs!
     
  18. Bryan316

    Bryan316 Banned

    Dec 20, 2006
    Detroit
    Naw, man... if they're smoking the reefer, they're just turning your u-pipes into bongs!
     
  19. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    Yeah but you have to have something to take that edge off.
     
  20. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Tulsa, OK
    The song "Flakes" by Zappa went through my head while reading this...

    Well the toilet backed up yesterday afternoon
    The plumber he said, "Never flush a tampoon"


    YEAH!
     

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