Way too many times I've lost women I wanted to other men who would just come up with the all-out attack sweep them like a hurricane routine. :scowl: I'm not like that. I like the relationships that develop and are whole. The scenario may be repeating again and I'm scared and confused. I have zero idea on how to deal with women and situations like these. Now I seek help from many who have gone through the process... yes, including talkbassers!! OK, so there's this lady, sweet, freindly, into films and art... we have nice conversations and such. I've grown to like her too much... and yes I cannot sleep well. Lately I've noticed what looks like a predator-like approach from another guy. This guy is following her around. So f-ing obvious. Her reactions: dunno diddley and that freaks me out. There isn't an obvious spark but they have gone out (or he is going with her whereas she doesn't see what's up). I tried once to have her go out with me in a very subtle way, with no result. But at times she gives me signals that I'm somebdoy to her. To what level, dunno. A smile, a look... My questions: 1- Have I lost her or can I make a strong comeback? 2- How should I approach her? 3- What is truth and fantasy? Are they together or not? Would she lie to me to cover up anything? 4- What info may be missing? 5- Techniques like "secret admirer"? Maybe I have more questions but I finally can go to sleep. This is driving me nuts. I don't know what's true and what's my imagination. Heck, this drives me loco so bad... the new band I'm starting may very well be a vehicle, since I play bass, write lyrics, and do vocals.