Wife Doesn’t Know

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by BOOG, Jan 21, 2018.

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  1. BOOG

    BOOG

    Dec 13, 2016
    Cleveland, Ohio
    So, Friday night (Saturday early hours) after a long week and a few glasses of fine Kentucky (as if there were some other kind) bourbon I decided to give in to my urges of lust.

    This sexy, long, lean and aggressive black beauty of a bass begged me to give her a home so, I put in the online order and now, I anxiously await her arrival.

    I come to all of you, my trustworthy and experienced brothers and sisters of the bass world for advice. :unsure:

    My challenge is:
    A) should I tell her about this affair before my new love arrives or wait until she’s living under the same roof?
    B) when she finds out should I be under the same roof or do it from afar (text, phone, snail mail)?
    C) should I just not engage the topic and just hide her and only bring her out to play when the wife is away?

    Ohhhh, how do I get myself into these situations?!:banghead:
     
  2. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    Tell her you ordered by mistake and you'll return it if she wants you to.
     
  3. bluesblaster

    bluesblaster

    Jan 2, 2008
    Depends.......how naughty were you ? as in $$$$$$ ? you didn't shoot the moon and buy a brand new Alembic or Fodera did you ? DID YOU ?
     
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  4. BOOG

    BOOG

    Dec 13, 2016
    Cleveland, Ohio
    ^ lol
    No, I wasn’t that much of a delinquent.

    As to returning her, I’m kind of a sentimental and sensitive type. I have a hard time with goodbyes.
     
  5. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    I did the same thing 2 weeks ago (minus the alcohol) when I ordered a Hofner that was on sale for $249. First time ever that I didn't tell her, and wasn't sure what I was going to do either :). I didn't tell her more out of embarrassment than anything else. I just bought a Mustang a few weeks before. And a Jazz a few weeks before that. And a Caprice a few months before that. Yeah it's getting bad.

    Anyhow, I planned to just see if and when she noticed it, but eureka!!!! UPS delivered a day early, and she got the delivery. It was funny, cuz she thought is was a gigbag - the box only weighed 8 lbs.

    She laughed when she saw the bass, and loves it. It's an awesome looking bass. I know she thinks I'm nuts, and I know she wishes I'd stop - but she gets (or at least acts) happy for me whenever I get a new bass. She knows how happy it makes me.

    I say do what I planned to do. Don't tell her. Hide the box when you get it, and just see how long it takes her to notice. When she does, ya can tell her that you really wanted to just see if she'd ever know.
     
  6. Just tell your wife the truth. You were in the music shop when Miss July started hitting on you and just wouldn't leave you alone. It went from a novelty to uncomfortable passed embarrassing all the way to downright creepy. You picked up the nearest bass available and began playing it in an effort to ignore her, but she persisted. In a blind panic you rushed to the checkout counter, bought the bass and high tailed it outta there. "Whoo! That was close! See, honey, I couldn't wait to get home safely to you with our fidelity intact. I'm going to keep this bass as a reminder to always be vigilant against any future assaults on our sacred marriage vows." That oughtta do it. Hope you like sleeping in your car. ;)
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2018
  7. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Inactive

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    The only question to ask is how this affects you financially. If you guys are both pulling down over six figures and have no debt, then you should be able to buy a Fodera and not sweat it. If you guys struggle to pay the bills every month and have six figures in debt, then even buying a $100 Squier SHOULD get you in trouble.

    The bubble is you guys are doing OK. Some months are better than others. You bought a $600-$1,000 bass. So you really don't have that kind of money but it shouldn't kill you either. In that case, fess up now before it arrives.

    Here's what I do. First off, my wife doesn't give a crap what I buy to a certain extent. My rules are my own, not hers. But I also research the ever loving crap out of anything I buy. Just before I add it to my online cart I show the wife what I'm getting. She usually rolls her eyes and makes some smarty remark and then reminds me that she doesn't care. But I tell her anyway.

    Edit: Fixed some silly typos.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
  8. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    That's pretty much how it is in the Nerve household too :).
     
  9. James Collins

    James Collins Guest

    Mar 25, 2017
    I think you have to ask yourself why you would hide purchasing a bass from your wife?

    I would recommend organizing your finances so that you and she have a weekly allowance that accumulates over time that is your money to spend on whatever you desire. That amount could be $20 or $200. Then when GAS hits you, you either have the money or you don't. If you don't and there is a crazy once in a lifetime opportunity, e.g. someone is selling their husband's Monarch for $250 because he lacks good communication, you could talk to her first. More than likely if the deal is that good, she will be okay with it. If there is something like a Squier CV for $200, remember that is not a once in a lifetime opportunity.

    My experience is that most good deals come back around anyway. There are exactly two basses I wish I had the money for when I didn't...one I eventually got for a fraction more, and the other I am still waiting on.

    Anyway, there are lots of basses. You hopefully only get one wife, so do the right thing with her.
     
  10. BOOG

    BOOG

    Dec 13, 2016
    Cleveland, Ohio
    :roflmao:Ahhhh, that’s awesome! I like the way you think! Spirited delinquency at its finest.
     
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  11. BOOG

    BOOG

    Dec 13, 2016
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Yeah, if I’m not careful this could get out of hand. I have a pretty bad GAS problem.
     
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  12. Thank you, kind Sir. I would have come up with something more intricate and plausible had it been me in that situation (come to think of it, I am regarding a certain Fender Modern Player Tele that recently took up residence under our roof). The beauty of it is that if your wife gives you "the look" during the presentation, you can use your improvisational skills. If THAT gets questioned, just admit you're flexing your jazz muscles and learning to think fast on your feet (hopefully you'll get the chance to before you're on your back on the floor). Hope this helps, and thanks.
     
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  13. BOOG

    BOOG

    Dec 13, 2016
    Cleveland, Ohio
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  14. BOOG

    BOOG

    Dec 13, 2016
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Eh, it’ll be fine but I hate that guilt feeling I get from buying stuff for myself.
     
  15. mbasile

    mbasile Mediocre Bassist of a Year

    Mar 16, 2015
    Austin, Texas
    I reasearch, hem, and haw so much that my girlfriend pretty much just goes “just buy it already!”
     
  16. JW56789

    JW56789 Guest

    Feb 18, 2017
    My wife and I are very close, and out of respect, I'd never spend real money without asking first.

    In Alembic circles, there's an almost notorious story of a gent who commissioned a BIG-dollar custom, with his better half completely in the dark about it, and when it and the Visa card bill arrived, it was down to 'that bass or ME'. It was on EBay shortly after that . . . . .
     
  17. BOOG

    BOOG

    Dec 13, 2016
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Eeek
    Nah, I don’t foresee anything that drastic
    lol
     
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  18. Hevy T

    Hevy T Supporting Member

    Jan 11, 2011
    Lethbridge, AB Canada
    Daum that happened to me last week!!
     
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  19. Hevy T

    Hevy T Supporting Member

    Jan 11, 2011
    Lethbridge, AB Canada
    Should ask this guy what actually went on E Bay 1. the bass or 2. his marriage certificate

    lol
     
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