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Wives be trippin!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by nukes_da_bass, Apr 11, 2014.

  1. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Banned

    Feb 19, 2006
    west suburban boston
    So I'm driving this elderly couple into the airport...
    The wife speaks in some Slavic tongue at about quarter note 140 BP for the entire 50 minutes.
    Once every 10 minutes or so the husband won't utter "da" or "nyet" in response.
    I.glanced in the rear view and he looked positively shellshocked.
    How do some of these people survive 30+ years of marriage?
    I'm at about 11.5 and already I want a survival certificate!
  2. Mktrat

    Mktrat Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore? Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2013
    The Mitten
    Smile and nod as you work out that groove idea in your head.
  3. Some people just have an ability to make it last.

    I see an elderly Japanese couple that go on morning walks regularly. I can tell how their day is going by how far ahead of her he walks and how loud he is yelling at her. Some days, he's 30 feet ahead, others only about 5. They are never parallel. Maybe it's their brand of harmony.
  4. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather

    Many oriental cultures dictate the wife never walks equal to the husband.
  5. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    I have been married for 30 years and my wife and I lived together for two years before that.
    One thing I have noticed is that some things that used to annoy us about each other have become sources of amusement.
    For instance: I would get up in the morning and open the dishwasher to get out a clean bowl. I would here my wife from the bedroom saying "Those dishes are clean" I used get annyoyed and think. "What's her deal? Of course I know these dishes are clean." I mean really just becuase I always put dirty dishes in a dishwasher full of clean ones doesn't mean they I don't know they are clean. ;)
    One morning I opened the dish washer and waited for it. Nothing. I rattled the dishes around. Still nothing. I was disapointed. I realized that I had come to look forward to her telling me the dishes are clean. It had turned into a game with us. I guess she didn't feel like playing that morning.
    She still gives me a courtesy "Those dishes are clean" sometimes and we both laugh. Old people are weird.
  6. Yeah, I've seen that quite frequently. I was at the deli counter a while ago and there was a couple in front of me in their 80s. The wife never let up - a continual torrent of whining, complaints about her husband. The look on the guy's face was totally blank - he'd learned to zone out years ago by all appearances. I hate to say that after 6 years, I've learned the same technique, but it's my wife's continual monologue about work that I zone out to. Harmless (I hope) survival mechanism. I've tried paying attention and mustering up genuine concern but it doesn't last long and I go back to the hockey game and emit "oh!, really? no kidding!, yeah!" in appropriate intervals. If it was personal abuse and whining I would've been gone long ago but this I consider harmless. I've talked to her about the importance of letting go of things she can't control, but to no avail, I think when I bring it up she zones ME out!
  7. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather

    This year will be 20 years for me and my wife and she already knows when I start to zone her out, she shuts up and goes to another room. She can get to going sometimes and it starts the moment I walk in the house from work. I'm like "Geez, can I get a moment of peace?" In my mind, though! ;)
  8. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Banned

    Feb 19, 2006
    west suburban boston
    I love Chris Rocks take on this. All you have to do is ask her "how was your day?" And throw in a few "oh yeah that b**** is crazy!" In response. How is your day can be a 45 minute committment!
  9. The most dreaded 4 words a man can ever hear,,,,,"We have to talk."
  10. This is crude, I admit, but with 17 years together and 15 of them married I can speak to this with some authority as to what works for us.

    We rock it in the sack.

    Are we like porn dogs or super crazy or even moderately good looking or remotely in shape? No way!!! Not even close. But whenever things get staticky between us, even after all these years and all these kids and the mounting bills and the stupid dog and her lame parents and my crazy a$$ family -- in spite of all that -- a roll in the hay smooths it all over every time.

    And why does that work? Because we're freakin awesome friends the rest of the time. That is one recipe for making it though the first 20 years at least, provided you both chose wisely in the first place. I have a couple friends who should have never married their spouse. Never. It was a bad idea on their wedding day and it is thrice as bad now with kids involved.
  11. Unprofessional


    Mar 5, 2012
    A good friend of mine has this thing down. His wife starts in on him, he gets this blank expression on his face and then, at seemingly random intervals, he says "Yes, dear". Eventually, she wears down. It's like watching an artist at work.
  12. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Banned

    Oct 1, 2010
    I counter with the most awesomest 5 words: "Not now, the game's on".
  13. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Banned

    Feb 19, 2006
    west suburban boston
    I do a little to counter the madness even tho I shouldn't. I live 24/7 in a doghouse built by post partum depression.
    Why do I still try?
    I like the doghouse to be as quiet as possible :)
  14. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Her: "And then she says ..... I think I should .... when we go ... so I called her ... I think I should ...

    Ten minutes later

    Her "What do you think?"

    Him " ...."

    Her "What are you thinking about?"

    Him "Should I play the flatted third or the tonic?"
  15. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass

    Feb 27, 2008
    TalkBass > Off Topic
    30 years this September for us.

    How? Mutually gratifying sex 2-3 times per week.
  16. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Jul 7, 2009
    Shreveport, Louisiana
    It's so nice to not be in a cohabitual relationship. :smug:
  17. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Banned

    Oct 1, 2010
    Hey that's awesome.........or did you mean with each other?
  18. bassinplace


    Dec 1, 2008
    Sounds like you've got the beginning of a good country song there...;)
  19. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN"

    Oct 11, 2009
    yuck,... people still having sex after 10yrs of marriage! it's not natural, IMO. :(
  20. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass

    Feb 27, 2008
    TalkBass > Off Topic

    LOL. You should see our fat wrinkly bodies writhing... wanna?