Working for the wife

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by makaspar, Dec 29, 2016.

  1. makaspar

    makaspar Supporting Member

    Oct 23, 2009
    Austin, TX
    Just wanted to throw this out there, and get some feedback, horror stories, or (hopefully) some success stories.

    My wife and I work at the same company, but in very different departments. She's in charge of marketing, and I am more or less entry level elsewhere. My background is radio/media/marketing, and my current position is pretty far from those things. That said, I do like it fairly well.

    Dilemma? She's hiring a digital marketing specialist, and hasn't had any luck - and I'm the perfect candidate. After months of searching, she asked her boss about hiring me, and got the ok. She then presented it to me.

    It's up my alley, pays a little better, and is much more likely to lead to better jobs - but I'd be working indirectly for my wife (another manager in between).

    Advice? Stories?
  2. Why not?? Go for it.

    I would suggest working out boundaries for work/home balance.
    eg. not discussing work around kids/family, or at meal times. Not talk about personal stuff during work hours, etc.

    Also, maybe find an experienced business person to coach/mentor both of you at the start, and if something arises down the track.
    Tbone76 and hrodbert696 like this.
  3. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Springtown, Texas
    Johnny Crab, Ben B and Munjibunga like this.
  4. Your wife is jealous?
    If you say yes , RUN!
  5. fingerguy

    fingerguy Inactive

    Aug 2, 2016
    DON'T DO IT! I never heard a good story about couples working together. The only time IMHO it's absolutely necessary is when it's their own business and even then it can get rough.
  6. Grumry


    Jul 6, 2016
    Haven't you heard anyone say not to mix business and personal?
  7. Immigrant

    Immigrant In Memoriam


    You've been working for her all along.
  8. pcake

    pcake Supporting Member

    Sep 20, 2011
    Los Angeleez
    the few people i know who do this successfully leave their relationships at home. at work, they treat each other exactly like any other coworkers in the same positions in every way. while many people say/feel they can do this, my experience says that most can't.

    can you do so, realistically?

    since you wouldn't be working directly for your wife, this might not be a problem. would she be involved if you have issues and your boss needs his/her boss to step in?
    BboogieXVII and T_Bone_TL like this.
  9. Gorn


    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    Distance is key to a good relationship. Find another job.
    jmattbassplaya likes this.
  10. Stevorebob

    Stevorebob Well... I Am Here, Aren't I? Supporting Member

    Sep 29, 2011
    Los Angeles
    Good jobs are many. Good marriages, not so much. Which can you risk?
    Jim Nazium, Oddly and Stewie26 like this.
  11. makaspar

    makaspar Supporting Member

    Oct 23, 2009
    Austin, TX
    Ha! This is a true statement. She says she's three times worse at home ;-)
    Immigrant likes this.
  12. If other woman touch you, you die.
    Johnny Crab and btmpancake like this.
  13. Recipe for disaster. That's all I am going to say.
    saltydude likes this.
  14. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    I've been a partner with my wife in our law firm for the law 15 years (I started out as a solo practitioner, and she joined after our son was a few years old). As others have said, keep personal and professional issues separate. A little different with us, since it is just us two.

    You say there is a manager between you. Best thing to do is to have it set up so that she is not responsible for your reviews/promotion/salary/job security. What you do not want is a job decision that has to be done by your supervisor that #$%!#[email protected] up your marriage. What happens if you have to be let go?

    It can be done, but ground rules have to be set, for you, for her, and for your marriage.
    GKon likes this.
  15. Oddly


    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    Do you truly feel you can keep the work relatonship within business hours and switch it off completely outside that (if that's even possible which I doubt...most sucessful professional-level folks I know bring the work home and are never completely switched off).
    Personally I doubt I could do it...and my wife who's just read this, agrees!
  16. Callused Finger

    Callused Finger

    Feb 22, 2007
    New York
    So how's the marriage?
  17. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Springtown, Texas
    I would hate to be the boss between you and your wife. He would be in a very uncomfortable position.
    bolophonic and Gaolee like this.
  18. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member

    My wife is a library director, and at one point I was considering applying for a position at her library. IT wouldn't have been reporting directly to her. But I decided not to do it, because there would be too many complicating factors. Her department heads said that they would not have felt comfortable supervising me when my wife was supervising them. Also, what about promotions and raises? You start getting conflict-of-interest issues when it's your spouse recommending you for a raise, and even if you totally did great work and deserved it, you're bound to have someone raising an eyebrow or gossiping about it. I can see this situation POSSIBLY working out, but there's a lot of things that could go wrong. I would avoid it if possible.
  19. fingerguy

    fingerguy Inactive

    Aug 2, 2016
    Reminds me of a discussion I been involved in with several parties regarding 3-ways about detaching jealousy and personal feelings when in a 3-way. Many can't. I see the same in a job. Me personally, I love my fiance but I would NEVER want to work with her.
  20. saltydude


    Aug 15, 2011
    boston CANADA
    Simply creating this thread would suggest you have reservations about this potential future arrangement. Follow your instincts and the advice of the TB board.
    BboogieXVII likes this.