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would you be mad?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Starrchild, Apr 9, 2001.


  1. Starrchild

    Starrchild

    Nov 10, 2000
    The Bay.
    my b-day is jan.22,and my loving wife.lol still hasn't gotten me anything not even a pack of strings,not even a card.would it be wrong for me to bitch about it.she get's her's on her b-day
    but she swears she's so sorry,still NO present.do i have the right to be pissed off?pls respond.
     
  2. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    "Abby replies" - Tell her the present thing is important for the health of your relationship, straight-on. If she blows that off, then the apologies are all a front.
     
  3. Blackbird

    Blackbird Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 18, 2000
    California
    Buy her no present for her B-day and see how she likes it.

    ..or maybe you should ask her why she got you nothing. Maybe there's a reason.

    Will C.:cool:
     
  4. Starrchild

    Starrchild

    Nov 10, 2000
    The Bay.
    I thought about not getting her anything for her B-day but it would only be because I got jacksh*t,and one thing I'm not is selfish but I swear I'm pissed.her reason was I'm going to get you something that you really deserve(I'm thinking wt-800) right or something like that since I had to wait until she got her income tax.well she got it and I still ain't got jacksh*t.the sad thing about it is I'm really a simple guy I swear a pack of strings for my lakland & j-bass would have done the freaking job.has anybody mate every done this to them?big wheel it got to the point where I called gelb music to ask lefty ed if she had anything on law-away for me.lol
     
  5. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    That's why I didn't suggest it. Quid pro quo only escalates the tension that already obviously exists and, besides, "if you lie down with the dogs, you get fleas, too."

    She said it's a matter of getting the income tax refund and you said nothing has happened. So, isn't it completely fair to ask, "When do you think it might happen so I can plan for it?" If you get some sort of vague answer, e.g., "When I get around to it," I'd tell her to forget about it and tell her you're going to get an even higher end amp on your own, so she shouldn't expect much more than a BlockBuster certificate for her birthday/anniversary.
     
  6. Ever thought you may have recieved exactly what you deserved for your birthday? I would think if she had to wait for an income tax return to buy you something you don't really need, you should be happy she is thinking about the big picture, like food, shelter, heat........etc. I know its not the answer you wanted but, I think I would just let it go and make sure you remember her birthday!!!
     
  7. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses, Hipshot products
    I agree with everything Rickbass has said. I would definitely tell her that I was really hurt by the fact that she didn't get me anything - and I would add that waiting thinking she MAY get me something was making me really resentful. That's not good for any relationship.

    I'd probably also say that - if she's not getting me anything by (any date that feels right for you), that then I'd be forgetting about it, and wouldn't accept a gift if she did get one.

    One other option would be to say "hey, I'm going out to buy (whatever), if you'd like to chip in with me as a birthday gift, that woud be great".

    Good luck.
    And Happy Belated Birthday!
     
  8. don't be pissed off. just take it like a man and hold it over her head next time you're in trouble. can you say "get out of jail free"?
     
  9. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Commercial User

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    Boom Bass Cabinets, DR strings
    As a person who couldn't give a ___ about "days" I wouldn't sweat it. Is there a reason you can't get yourself something? I'm just having a hard time understanding a husband complaining about a spouse not giving a gift. It's usually the other way a round in my house;)

    When her b-day rolls around...get her something.

    Too complicated?;)
     
  10. Well, I'm not married, and don't have a girlfriend, so I guess this doesn't REALLy apply to me, but I'm still the kinda guy that really couldn't care less if anyone gets me anything for my birthday or not. Then again, that might have something to do with the fact that I usually don't get my friends anything, either. :p
    But seriously, with the kinds of gifts I've been giving to people lately, you'd think I wanted something for my birthday...and I do, I just know I'm not gonna get it unless I pay for about half of it. I also know that my friends aren't gonna pool their money for the other half, because...well, none of them know anything about what bass I want, and none of them know more about a bass than how cool it looks. :D:p
     
  11. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    I wouldn't be pissed, but I'd own a WT-800 by mid-February.
     
  12. a prudent suggestion! I'll use that one some day. hehe
     
  13. Starrchild

    Starrchild

    Nov 10, 2000
    The Bay.
    ok so here's my reason for being upset.
    1.i don't celebrate Xmas,meaning don't worry about me BUT I got you and the kid's covered.
    2.my birthday is more important than ANY day I mean it's my day right.
    3.she know's ALL of this.
    but to keep it real as long as I wake up in the morning I'm blessed.
     
  14. jazzbo

    jazzbo

    Aug 25, 2000
    San Francisco, CA
    Doesn't the expectation of a gift diminish it's value? I see a larger issue: lack of communication. Why is it that you can talk to a bunch of strangers (albeit we're real friendly-like and also play da bass) about this, but not your wife? I don't think it's healthy to expect something from her on your birthday. That's not what gift-giving or -receiving, is about. On the other hand, she broke her word, she told you she was going to get you something upon receiving her tax return, and she didn't. So, you should discuss with her how that makes you feel. I'm guessing the fact that she doesn't acknowledge what is known as a person's "special" day makes you feel unappreciated, neglected, or taken for granted. Whatever it is, sit down and talk to her. Honesty and communication will fix this problem.
     
  15. I'm out of the big picture here, but:

    1. Not getting the amp of one's dreams/even a set of strings even I can understand - hey, she's your wife!

    2. Not getting even a card suggests things even this forum can't help - are you two on good terms?

    Sorry to be so to the point,

    Jim
     
  16. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    It's her way of saying, "I want a divorce."
     
  17. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Commercial User

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    Boom Bass Cabinets, DR strings
    I kind of grew out of that whole birthday thing in grade school...not that it shouldn't mean something to anyone else but for me it ranks right up there with the Tooth Fairy and Presidents Day.

    It's a day.
     
  18. VicDamone

    VicDamone

    Jun 25, 2000
    It's realy a blessing. Nothing for you-nothing for her. Don't forget not only do you have to shop for a gift you know isn't going to fit or be the right color Witch translates into, "your not in tune with my feelings," or whatever, but then they expect a card too.

    Men are too easy when it comes to gift satisfaction. Hell, do you even want to read the damn card?

    Be good to yourself on your B-day. Eat bad food and buy yourself somthing. And if your feeling guilty just go into your wifes closet and count how many pairs of black shoes she has.

    Less than five=high end instrument cable

    Ten pairs=mid priced freetless

    Fifteen pairs or more=Sadowsky, new amp, go off!

    I gotta be honest with you guys, I counted twenty- two pairs in my wifes closet. Sure some are old and she probably hasn't worn them in years but there were two pairs brand new. Freaking Amelda!
     
  19. Agree 100% just a day. I don't actually want anything anyway.

    It's irrelevent and I wouldn't worry it's probably been spent on something worthwhile anyway and she is your wife so only good can come of it.
     
  20. The more I think about it, the more I think you should give YOUR mother a present for your birthday. After all, she did all the work on your real birthday!!!