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Would you call? (minor rant inside)

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Matthew Bryson, Apr 1, 2004.

  1. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    I'm pretty new to bass, but not too new - aprox 3 years and I've yet to join a band. That's all that I really want at this point. So I saw an ad and responded, met a guy for a beer and a chat, and got a CD of his stuff from him. We seemed to get along and had some similar goals. I learned his songs - I wrote bass lines for them and practiced them. We played together one time and he seemed somewhat impressed with my playing and how his tunes sounded with bass (as opposed to him alone) At his request I showed him some of my (original) stuff and he jammed along and said he was digging it. When we were done he asked if I'd like to stay and have another smoke with him, we hung out and had a last cig and discussed what cover tunes we wanted to add for our next jam together and agreed to material to work on for the next jam. We agreed to play together again in a week, although he was to double check his schedule and he'd be in touch to confirm. I sent him an email the next day simply thanking him for having me over to his home and said that I'd enjoyed our jamÂ… He responded saying that he had a good time too and also, that regrettably he was to work over-time for the next two weeks, so he scheduled a date 2 and a 1/2 weeks out. I sent him another message a few days before the date that had been set, just to confirm. A couple day later (but before the scheduled day) he responded saying that he'd been out of town and would have to leave town again for about another week. I sent yet another message a few days after he was to have returned. He responded saying that yes, he was back and should have some time to jam soon - he'd be in touch to set a date. After not hearing from him for a week, I sent one last message saying here's my home number, cell number, email - if you aver want to play just let me know. Thanks. That was about 5 and 1/2 weeks after we had played. It's been over a week, I haven't heard from him. I've written him off. But it's killing me. Part of me wants to call or email him and say ***? I just want to know - are you blowing me off and if so, why? And why say that I'm good, and you want to play with me again soon, and schedule and reschedule things if you're blowing me off? My wife says I should call him and ask him, but it seems classier to just let it lie. When I think about it really hard, I really think that I might have intimidated him a bit - I think that I was very professional and goal oriented and showed him that I could learn material quickly and well. I think maybe he was / is stalling for time or not feeling up to the challenge(?) - or maybe he and his friends feel safer being "almost a whole band" and having the final piece to the puzzle offered to them made them realize that they'd have to leave their living room and their comfort zone to pursue their rock and roll fantasy. I really don't know. Maybe he's just a huge flake and a scheduling nightmare - or maybe this is just an unusual circumstance that he's been virtually unavailable for weeks. I do know that until I find out why this dude is flaking or blowing me off - I'm going to feel that it's because I'm not good enough. I hate feeling like this. Sorry for the long rant. Should I just call him and ask him what's the problem? If my playing is bad - I want to know.
  2. BertBert


    Nov 9, 2002
    Don't read anything into this situation about your playing ability. You wrote bass lines to the songs, you listened and practiced... so that proves you have the skills. Unless the guy actually voices criticisms about your playing, assume that the quality of your playing isn't the issue. You'll drive yourself nuts otherwise, and it'll make you overly self-conscious about ANY playing you do, and then the quality of your playing really WILL go downhill.

    I'd call the guy back and reiterate that you had a good time jamming with him before, and would he like to get together again. Set a date, a time, and a place for practicing. Don't let him get away without setting something specific up. If he balks at that, then he's not serious about playing with you and you shouldn't waste your time wondering about him. Who knows, maybe he's a flake -- or maybe he's worried about his skills alongside a talented bass player, or maybe he's got something else going on in his life. At any rate try to set a specific time and date up,
  3. Simply put, if he can't find the time to do the groundwork required for starting a band, he won't be finding the time to come to practice, gigs, or anything else planned.

    Your time and ambition are worth far too much to waste.

    Write him off NOW!
  4. Folmeister

    Folmeister Knowledge is Good - Emile Faber Supporting Member

    May 7, 2003
    Tomball, Texas
    This is just part of being a musician. I generally find that most amatuer players are flaky when it comes to making a real commitment to the complex art of putting together and maintaining a band. Now, before I get flamed for that last comment, I would like to say that there is probably a greater proportion of dedicated players here on TB than anywhere else! It is everyone else that seems to have issues. I do A LOT of trolling for players through Craig's List on the Internet and I have met sooooooooo many people that talk the talk but can't walk the walk. My advice to approach projects like Fender MIM basses: try as many as possible and you may find one that actually feels right.

  5. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga

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