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Would you do this job for free?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by IPYF, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. IPYF


    Mar 31, 2011
    Look. This is going to be a bit of a pointless thread but I've gotten some amusement yesterday and I wanted to share with you guys because we talk about this stuff all the time.

    Essentially in our fine land as well as all the deadly animals we have our own version of Craigslist where you advertise for musicians and whatnot.
    I found an ad on one of these from which I derived an excessive amount of mirth.

    Here is a list of what the advertising Band Leader wanted from his hires (note: he's currently on his own and looking for a full roster) and that in paraphrasing all this for the sake of this dude's privacy I'm removing about 90% of the ego and pomp:

    - an ability to read sheet music, flawlessly.
    - an unwavering commitment to all band activities including weekly rehearsals.
    - all songs (originals) to be provided by the band leader. No creative input will be accepted as the band leader is a prolific songwriter.
    - no jamming to be undertaken at rehearsals. The time is allocated to rehearsing the set songs only.
    - the band will be required to support and expect 'unexpected' and 'out-there' live performances from this individual which might make some audiences 'uncomfortable'.

    Amused, I sent the poster a PM asking what rate of pay he was willing to offer the successful bass applicant. I figure that someone who wants so much and has such a restrictive set of requirements would surely be looking for hired guns.

    In response I get an essay back telling me that I don't understand how original music works and that he's certainly not willing to offer any money because the band is a startup. However money is certain to eventuate for everyone because the band will definitely hit the big time quickly because of how awesomely great he, the main guy, actually is and how hard he will make his band work. He finally suggested that if I wasn't willing to work hard as a musician without getting paid I'd be better off applying for a job as an accountant.

    All in all this was pretty funny. But I have no idea how someone like this could hope to get anyone halfway competent involved.
  2. Dmwphoto

    Dmwphoto what does this light/\ do?

    Nov 27, 2013
    Richmond va
    post his contact info here, I bet we have a few "comments" for him.
  3. DiabolusInMusic

    DiabolusInMusic Functionless Art is Merely Tolerated Vandalism Supporting Member

    Thanks for sharing, the response was sheer gold.
  4. IPYF


    Mar 31, 2011
    My only sadness is that due to not wanting to expose this person (not my bag I'm afraid) I can't post the actual words which were much much funnier than mine.

    I'm off to accountancy school next week. I've learned my lesson about music.
  5. Fat Steve

    Fat Steve The poodle bites, the poodle chews it.

    He posted his ad to the public, correct? No reason to feel bad linking the ad
  6. lol
  7. tangentmusic

    tangentmusic A figment of our exaggeration

    Aug 17, 2007
    Unfortunately, he's not the only "musician" who suffers from delusions of grandeur.

    Thanks for posting. Quite funny. Should have been in the Humor section
  8. Randyt

    Randyt RAAPT Custom Wood Productions

    Jul 21, 2010
    Barrie, Canada
    "expect the unexpected"....not sure what that means...ya kinda scares me...I get this vision of him stepping off stage for a minute and coming back on with Jazz clothing and performing flash dance with the whole water thing too!!!...creepy..NO...LOL
    Oh...and anyone that says ...we will hit the big time ...in no time...full of BS...this guy is bush league material.
  9. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    You beat me to it, "delusional" was the first word I thought of ...

    ... maybe he will find a band of similar people to play with.
    Could be worth watching the resulting trainwreck. :)
  10. synaesthesia


    Apr 13, 2004
    Big talkers. If he has any talent, he'd be in the money now. I worked with a singer who's man was bankrolling her,- singing lessons, Neumann mics, top end gear etc..... they had no idea whatsoever - but the drummer who wanted the gig was a close mate, so I worked with them for about 6 gigs and was effectively the MD, arranging tunes etc.... but the money never got more than what I'd get for doing a pub gig with no rehearsal. This was in 2006 when she wanted to go ' jazz ' - I hear she is now trying a rock slant.....And still trying to get a decent gig, let alone make any money.
  11. pfox14


    Dec 22, 2013
    That gave me a laugh. I call it bass slavery
  12. I think this can happen a lot with music. The guy is asking for a top notch pro and unwilling to pay. You simply can't get a top shelf pro for free, end of story.

    I think we've all dealt with guys with big dreams and who run the bands with an iron fist. I may claim to have mean bosses at work from time to time, but nobody has ever reamed me worse than band guys like this. At least my bosses pay me.
  13. ....or delusions of adequacy....

  14. lfmn16


    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    I wouldn't do that job for pay! With an asshat like that leading the way, it can only end badly.
  15. Stinsok

    Stinsok Supporting Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Central Alabama
    Is his last name "Koresh?"
  16. Funny how the "musical geniuses" don't seem to just attract top flight talent simply by virtue of their awesomeness.
  17. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg Keyboards
    Would I take that gig for free? NO!

    Is there enough money in the world for me to put up with him for a short period of time? Maybe!
  18. derrico1

    derrico1 Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2005
    Charlottesville, VA
    I Googled this guy's advert, and it was a little disappointing. I was hoping for world-class ego, but all I got was junior-varsity-level delusion.
  19. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Does Mr. Genius have any demos of these amazing songs? I for one would like to hear them.
  20. RustyAxe


    Jul 8, 2008
    Anyone with any experience will ignore his ad. Anyone who responds is probably as delusional as he is. It's all good.