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Wow! I am really a lucky guy!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by superbassman2000, Mar 29, 2006.

  1. you know, i just have to tell you guys how lucky i am.

    Every day i check my email, and let me tell you. I get several emails a day telling me how i have a preapproved mortgage! I win several contests and lotteries for foreign lands, and although i haven't gotten the money for any of them, i know the money is on its way. Not only that, but i also get a lot of really good *insider* information on the stock market, and they let me know about some nice penny stocks that if i get now, they will increase 2500% in the next few weeks! this is great. I haven't checked any of those stocks yet, but i am sure that i am pretty rich by now. My stock broker did have a chuckle when i told him which stocks i wanted, but i have a feeling i'll be getting the last laugh. I've also been getting some really lucky emails about how i can really save some money buying real software at prices that i have calculated to be 95% off! with all the money i am saving, i put that money into those stocks those people are sending me. This is win-win.
    Every time i try to sell a piece of gear online, i get a lot of people offering to buy the gear, and even pay me more! They send me a cashier's check for well over 4,000 dollars than what they owe me, and they say that i can keep the difference! wow! this is great!
    When i get my mail, i find out that i have been preapproved for several credit cards...preapproved! i doubt any of you have that luxery. I couldn't be happier.
    But, even after having all this luck, i don't forget about being charitable...you know, with great power comes great responsibility, so i do get some emails from foreign royalty (in exile) and they have asked me (me!) to help them with some money. I figure with all the luck i've been having, stuff like that is the least i can do. He is sending the money to me soon.
    Although, this hasn't been all fun and games, i guess the word is traveling quickly on how lucky i am and how much money i am going to have, because i also get some emails from my bank, ebay, and paypal saying that people are trying to hack into my accounts. But thats an easy fix, fortunately the good people at my bank, ebay and paypal have made it easy for me so all i have to do is give them my account info, like name, address, SSN, and it is all fixed.

    as Yakov Smirnov once said, "What a country!"


  2. kserg


    Feb 20, 2004
    San Jose, CA
    That did it... i am going to watch "Moscow on the Hudson" again. Too many Smornoff quotes.
  3. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    Also, you can get a huge member and become a better lover if you reply now.

  4. Edwcdc

    Edwcdc I call shotgun!

    Jul 21, 2003
    Columbia MD USA
    Link? Come on man I need that link.:D
  5. i figured that i would keep those emails to myself...so far i've had several PMs from "friends" on tb asking how they can get those good software deals and stock tips, but i was keeping the lovelife stuff to myself, because let's face it, i need chicks to dig me.

    Or is it because I need chicks too, dig me...
  6. Edwcdc

    Edwcdc I call shotgun!

    Jul 21, 2003
    Columbia MD USA
    Look man, I hate to burst your bubble but I have been getting the same stock tips. I figure I got one more year left to grind out at this job then I can retire.
    That and have a huge member...ship to a country club because I will be so rich.
  7. plexibass


    Jun 30, 2005
    oh yeah, well igot everyone beat. i get so many free vacations every year i hardley have time to work! and i have a huge member.
  8. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    When chicks dig you then you get the official tie:


  9. BassChuck

    BassChuck Supporting Member

    Nov 15, 2005
    DON"T I repeat DON"T go for that 'enlarged member' thing.

    Good God! My friend did that and his left leg grew so big that he had to cut it off....twice.

    Chicks DO NOT dig that.
  10. See, I never get those. All I get are offers from very attractive women who want to do naughty things with me.

    Is that bad?

    Rock on
  11. d8g3jdh

    d8g3jdh Guest

    Aug 9, 2005
    In Soviet Russia, noun verbs you!

    Vakov Smirnoff said it.

    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Supporting Member

    Congrats Charlie ! :D
  13. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member

    What I want to know is who told all of these people that I have a small member?!?!?!?:mad:
  14. jeff_bass28

    jeff_bass28 Guest

    Mar 21, 2006
    HA! Got all of ya beat! I've been so goddamn lucky lately, I swear. Some banker in China, who works for "the biggest bank in the world," (and it's in CHINA??) has just informed me--ME--that I am the only person in the world who can help him out. Seems he was handling a multi-BILLION dollar account for some eccentric American who disappeared in Europe about 5 years ago. Thing is, no one knew about this guy's money except him and the banker , so he needs MY help to cash in on this deal. All I have to do is hand over every piece of identifying info about myself (social security number, bank account info, etc.) and he will generously name me--ME--as this guy's heir; and we split the profits 50-50. This is a HUGE deal! I figure I'm coming in to at least 15,maybe 20 billion.
    So you losers can keep your "enlarge you member" offers--I'll keep my tiny wang. I'm f-ing RICH so who cares?? I'll get more women than any of you!I can't believe my luck! This is the greaest thing I could ever hope for! Gee, I hope this banker guy doesn't try to screw me or anything...
  15. well, I couldn't just keep all these incredible deals to myself...
  16. d8g3jdh

    d8g3jdh Guest

    Aug 9, 2005
  17. Jimbo


    Dec 4, 2000
    Philadelphia, PA
    sorry jeff :bag:

  18. Joe Turski

    Joe Turski

    Jul 29, 2003


    Sorry Jeff, just trying to help.

  19. Oh yeah, well, I'm making my breasts larger. And it's all natural. Thats the offer I got.
    Then I'll have my own and won't need them pesky girls anymore.
    And no, you guys can't touch them!!!!!!!!!
    :spit: :spit: :spit: :spit: :spit:
  20. burk48237

    burk48237 Supporting Member

    Nov 22, 2004
    Oak Park, MI
    You have just officially ruined Breakfast!:D

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