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Yay, band issues

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by bassjamn, Dec 11, 2006.

  1. bassjamn


    Jan 4, 2002
    San Francisco
    About 6 months ago, my bro's and i started up another band.
    Following that about 3 months ago we invited a very good friend to join as a rythym/texture guitarist.

    During our jam time, Slowly but surely our friend playing the Rythym/texture role has been taking more & more long extended solos, and not playing the supporting role as much.

    We've already insinuated sharing "Lead time" among everyone and listening to each other being the most important thing but i dont think he's gotten the hint.
    I know it's time for a diirect talk but what would be a diplomatic way of getting him back in his role?
    (Please no punch in the throat solutions :rolleyes: )
  2. Skel


    Jun 19, 2005
    Boulder, Colorado
    I learned this a long time ago, and maybe it will help you. Have a talk with him, but practice it in advance, using only the words "I", or "we" (the rest of the band) and not "you". "We really liked what you were doing in the beginning and we would love it if you would do less soloing and more textured rhythm playing". The word "you" puts a person on the defensive, so just explain how what he's doing makes you and the rest of the band feel. Harder said than done, I know.
  3. +1 to that. Taking the "you" approach is blaming and makes people feel they need to defend themselves or retort back at you with "well you do this" statements and everyone starts arguing instead.
  4. bassjamn


    Jan 4, 2002
    San Francisco
    Yeah, i'll have to talk with my bro's on what to say, will try to focus on the positives of his playing. will probably bring it up next practice.

    One major thing i forgot to mention is he is a huge pothead which i dont mind at all outside the studio, hell we get stoned at concerts together.
    I find when he first started he was not tokin the dubage, but he mentioned smoking up before coming down to the studio...I have a feeling his "endless solo's" are probably due to that as well.

    In my experiece stoned/un-stoned musicians dont mix too well.
    so we may have to bring that up too.
  5. what if you threaten to punch him in the ovaries? that is currently my favorite threat to use on guys
  6. Skel


    Jun 19, 2005
    Boulder, Colorado
    Yeah, if the solos started when the stoned started, it's kind of a no brainer, but still, you have to have the talk and let him figure out what it will take to meet the needs of the band. He's not stupid.
  7. Roger Pounders

    Roger Pounders

    May 24, 2006

    Its more personal than Religion, Family or Politics.

    Ive been in a fair few bands, and nothing makes people angrier or more territorial than their music. Lets face it... Bands suck. Being in a band sucks, theres nothing positive about it .....well.... except for making music, playing live, chicks, crowds, grooves, recording. Buying toys. Rocking out, Jamming, Gelling with other musicians, blowing out your eardrums...getting people dancing,...

    other than that... SUCK!!!

  8. bassjamn


    Jan 4, 2002
    San Francisco
    Wise words Indeed :bassist:
  9. Musicians who "disappear into their own world" when playing and lose the ability to know when they should yield the floor are a drag to play with.

    Maybe of you all have an offline discussion about musicianship and YOU be sure to point out how important "space" and "listening to others" is to being a true musician.

    Link in conversation, less is more - and when you have something to say (to play), say it clearly, get to the point, and get out. Lingering with all sorts of afterthoughts and add-ons is just plain rude.

    Maybe play a "game" in rehearsal where each of you who solo take 2-rounds and pass it on. So fire up a 12-bar blues jam, you take the first 2-rounds for your solo, pass it on to your bro, then him. That may show him how cool it is to listen to what others do, elaborate on it, then hand it off so someone else can add to the conversation too.
  10. "Lets try that passage again with just bass, drums & rhythm. I think I'm playing a weird note in there. Cool. How would it sound if you just hit the upstrokes right in there? Killer! Now let's try it with the lead too." That's along the lines of how I'd handle it. Good luck.
  11. iriegnome

    iriegnome Bassstar style Supporting Member

    Nov 23, 2001
    Kenosha, WI 53140
    I think this could make me piss myself. This is something that my bandmates would think of! I can't stop laughing.... Seriously - Band meeting and talk... Be direct and truthful. Everyone wins this way. Leave it up to him though. Give him a choice - He was brought in for a certain role in the band. It can expand, but not completely go away from that role. The "I""We" thing is exactly right. Don't put him in a position where he feels attacked. "We feel..." Not "You should..."
  12. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Yeah. Grab your cajones and just be direct. Don't be angry. Don't be emotional. Just address the behaviour you want to change. "Yo, dude, cut that solo in half and then kick back into the rhythm." You didn't say "Man, you're always doing that. I hate that. It just drives me nuts when you do that. Why don't you share more? Why are you so selfish? You should stop getting stoned before you play." All it takes is one sentence, right in the middle of the jam. You're practicing. So stop the jam and direct it when it does it and then start over and repeat until he gets it. Don't do the stoner passive-aggressive manuever where you start a thread ;) , text back and forth with the guitarist:scowl: , and then five days later at 11PM on a Thursday, call him up out of the blue and freak out on him.:mad: Just do it right there and then. If he ego gets bruised a little, he'll get over it. If he doesn't then, he needs to learn to. If he doesn't learn, then he'll leave.

    As far as getting high before playing. That's pretty much standard in my bands. Unless you're dropping acid and watching the walls melt, it doesn't mean that you can't communicate with each other and that you're so "out of it" that you can't listen to reason. Personally I don't think getting stoned has anything to do with it. I think it's the type of player that he is, and he needs to adjust his playing. Bottom line.:bassist:
  13. bassjamn


    Jan 4, 2002
    San Francisco
    Thanks for the advice here guys, I do plan to bring up the topic once we have another bad jam day. We played sunday and he was pretty restrained did some solo's and went right back to his role. He did not have his dubage intake that day ;) So I'll bring it up next time it happens.

    I disagree a bit with MakiSupaStar about getting high & bands, Certain people function fine with it and those are the types i dont mind at all. My old singer was high all the time i could never tell the difference.
    However some people do get altered to a point and it changes the way they function, such as the person in my band right now. (endless solo's while happy as can be, listening less & less etc etc)
    We also have a white board in which i wrote out the structures of our songs. Forget asking him to concentrate on learning a new song structure while stoned!! :meh:

    Then again if everyone's high no one seems to care and all is good, i've tried that too in the past. I've learned i am 10x more productive playing normally.
  14. punch him in the thro... chest i mean....
  15. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    I agree. It depends on the job at hand for me. If we're doing a gig that's all about open jams and stuff, then I'm down with it. But most of the time I am also WAY more productive playing normally. :cool:

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