Yokels and Hillbillies need apply.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Against Will, Dec 21, 2004.

  1. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    After spending much of my life in Vermont, I enjoyed them greatly.

    Computer Vocabulary for Rednecks

    LOG ON - Makin's a wood stove hotter
    LOG OFF - Don't add no more wood
    MONITOR - Keepin' an eye on the woodstove
    DOWNLAOD - Gettin' the farwood off the truck
    MEGAHERTZ - When yer not keerful gettin' farwood
    FLOPPY DISC - Watcha git from tryin to carry too mcuh farwood
    RAM - That thing that splits the farwood
    HARD DRIVE - Gettin' home in winter time
    PROMPT - Whut the mail aint in winter time
    WINDOWS - Whut to shut when it's cold outside
    SCREEN - Whut to shut when it's blak fly season
    BYTE - Whut dem dang flys do
    CHIP - Muchies for TV
    MICROCHIP - Whut's in th munchie bag
    MODEM - Wacha did to the hay fields
    DOT MATRIX - Old Dan Matrix's wife
    LAPTOP - Whar the kitty sleeps
    KEYBOARD - Whar ya hang da keys
    SOFTWARE - Them plastic forks and knife
    MOUSE - What eats the grain in the barn
    MAINFRAME - Holds up the barn ruf
    PORT - Fancy Flatlander wine
    ENTER - Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all!"
    RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY - When ya can't remember what you paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks
    MOUSE PAD - That hippie talk fer the rat hole
  2. Vermont?

    That ain't real hillbill. :eyebrow:
  3. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central

    They go by mountainbills/woodchucks, but it's closer than you think.
  4. guess it's one of them there tomato tomato things.
  5. When I think yokel/hillbilly, I think Mississipi, Arkansas, and South Carolina, most of those states in that region. But I could be wrong.

    We have rednecks here.
  6. How can you forget the blueridge???!1 :smug:
  7. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB

    Jan 28, 2001
    New York
    Chris Fitzgerald posted this awhile back in the DB forums..................

    Musical Terms Commonly Misunderstood by Country-Western Musicians, With Their
    Translated "Country" Definitions:

    Diminished Fifth -- An empty bottle of Jack Daniels
    Perfect Fifth -- A full bottle of Jack Daniels
    Relative Major -- An uncle in the Marine Corps
    Relative Minor -- A girlfriend
    Big Band -- When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players
    Pianissimo -- "Refill this beer bottle"
    Repeat -- What you do until they just expel you
    Treble -- Women ain't nothin' but
    Bass -- The things you run around in softball
    Portamento -- A foreign country you've always wanted to see
    Conductor -- The man who punches your ticket to Birmingham
    Arpeggio -- "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?"
    Tempo -- Good choice for a used car
    A 440 -- The highway that runs around Nashville
    Transpositions -- Men who wear dresses
    Cut Time -- Parole
    Order of Sharps -- What a wimp gets at the bar
    Passing Tone -- Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues
    Middle C -- The only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are low
    Perfect Pitch -- The smooth coating on a freshly paved road
    Tuba -- A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!"
    Cadenza -- That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes
    Whole Note -- What's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year
    Clef -- What you try never to fall off of
    Bass Clef -- Where you wind up if you do fall off
    Altos -- Not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes," or "Dori-toes"
    Minor Third -- Your approximate grade at the completion of formal schooling
    Melodic Minor -- Loretta Lynn's singing dad
    12-Tone Scale -- The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with
    Quarter Tone -- What most standard pickups can haul
    Sonata -- What you get from a bad cold or hay fever
    Clarinet -- Name used on your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo
    Trill -- What's usually found on Blueberry Hill