1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

Yokels and Hillbillies need apply.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Against Will, Dec 21, 2004.

  1. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    After spending much of my life in Vermont, I enjoyed them greatly.

    Computer Vocabulary for Rednecks

    LOG ON - Makin's a wood stove hotter
    LOG OFF - Don't add no more wood
    MONITOR - Keepin' an eye on the woodstove
    DOWNLAOD - Gettin' the farwood off the truck
    MEGAHERTZ - When yer not keerful gettin' farwood
    FLOPPY DISC - Watcha git from tryin to carry too mcuh farwood
    RAM - That thing that splits the farwood
    HARD DRIVE - Gettin' home in winter time
    PROMPT - Whut the mail aint in winter time
    WINDOWS - Whut to shut when it's cold outside
    SCREEN - Whut to shut when it's blak fly season
    BYTE - Whut dem dang flys do
    CHIP - Muchies for TV
    MICROCHIP - Whut's in th munchie bag
    MODEM - Wacha did to the hay fields
    DOT MATRIX - Old Dan Matrix's wife
    LAPTOP - Whar the kitty sleeps
    KEYBOARD - Whar ya hang da keys
    SOFTWARE - Them plastic forks and knife
    MOUSE - What eats the grain in the barn
    MAINFRAME - Holds up the barn ruf
    PORT - Fancy Flatlander wine
    ENTER - Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all!"
    RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY - When ya can't remember what you paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks
    MOUSE PAD - That hippie talk fer the rat hole
  2. Vermont?

    That ain't real hillbill. :eyebrow:
  3. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central

    They go by mountainbills/woodchucks, but it's closer than you think.
  4. guess it's one of them there tomato tomato things.
  5. When I think yokel/hillbilly, I think Mississipi, Arkansas, and South Carolina, most of those states in that region. But I could be wrong.

    We have rednecks here.
  6. How can you forget the blueridge???!1 :smug:
  7. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2001
    Spencerport, New York
    Chris Fitzgerald posted this awhile back in the DB forums..................

    Musical Terms Commonly Misunderstood by Country-Western Musicians, With Their
    Translated "Country" Definitions:

    Diminished Fifth -- An empty bottle of Jack Daniels
    Perfect Fifth -- A full bottle of Jack Daniels
    Relative Major -- An uncle in the Marine Corps
    Relative Minor -- A girlfriend
    Big Band -- When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players
    Pianissimo -- "Refill this beer bottle"
    Repeat -- What you do until they just expel you
    Treble -- Women ain't nothin' but
    Bass -- The things you run around in softball
    Portamento -- A foreign country you've always wanted to see
    Conductor -- The man who punches your ticket to Birmingham
    Arpeggio -- "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?"
    Tempo -- Good choice for a used car
    A 440 -- The highway that runs around Nashville
    Transpositions -- Men who wear dresses
    Cut Time -- Parole
    Order of Sharps -- What a wimp gets at the bar
    Passing Tone -- Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues
    Middle C -- The only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are low
    Perfect Pitch -- The smooth coating on a freshly paved road
    Tuba -- A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!"
    Cadenza -- That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes
    Whole Note -- What's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year
    Clef -- What you try never to fall off of
    Bass Clef -- Where you wind up if you do fall off
    Altos -- Not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes," or "Dori-toes"
    Minor Third -- Your approximate grade at the completion of formal schooling
    Melodic Minor -- Loretta Lynn's singing dad
    12-Tone Scale -- The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with
    Quarter Tone -- What most standard pickups can haul
    Sonata -- What you get from a bad cold or hay fever
    Clarinet -- Name used on your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo
    Trill -- What's usually found on Blueberry Hill