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You know you’re a bassist when...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Spent, Aug 7, 2018.

  1. Spent


    May 15, 2011
    Upstate NY
    your ten year old can identify a bass.

    Backstory...I’m on vacation with the family; beautiful wife of 25 years (she sometimes reads over my shoulder), 14 year old and 10 year old boys. We’re walking down the sidewalk of a heavily touristy area and my 10 year old is going on about what he wants. I mention that I’m going to try that technique to see if I can get what I want. He then says “I know you want another bass” and I reply that I haven’t looked at another bass since I got my Carvin LB76 last year and another woman since I got married. He then says that he sees me looking at...and I’m just waiting for it. This is a beach community and there are a lot of women walking around in shorts and bikinis. He finishes with “a Dingwall.” I’m releaved. My wife was thinking the same thing I was but keeps it to herself. That’s why it’ll 26 years in less than a month.
  2. When your leaves get replaced.

    or when you have those little calluses on your fingertips
    JRA and Spent like this.
  3. MrLenny1


    Jan 17, 2009
    When they pay you and ask you to come back.
    sneha1965, Johnny Crab and JRA like this.
  4. db59

    db59 Supporting Member

    Apr 16, 2015
    when you're not the guitarist!!!
  5. When you don’t know any lyrics by heart, but can play any Top 40 bassline from the last 50 years.
  6. Fun Size Nick

    Fun Size Nick

    Feb 21, 2006
    Hong Kong
    Too funny :laugh: Congrats on 26 years!

    My basses hang from the wall above the sofa, and my toddler frequently demands that I grab one down to play. He's already developed a strong preference for my mid-'70s Fender Jazz over my Squier VM Precision...I've tried to convince him that it's not about the name on the headstock, but he just won't listen...
    Spent and JRA like this.
  7. twinjet

    twinjet GE90-equipped Moderator Staff Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    when you change your TB username more often than your strings.
    JRA likes this.
  8. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    ....you notice that your solo is always the second one from the last! :laugh:
    TolerancEJ and Bob_Ross like this.
  9. Bodeanly

    Bodeanly Supporting Member

    Mar 20, 2015
    When your solo is the same thing you've been playing for one million measures, but the rest of the band drops out for a couple of bars.
    Algo, TolerancEJ, S-Bigbottom and 7 others like this.
  10. JakobT


    Jan 9, 2014
    Oslo, Norway
    ...when you’ve kept out of treble for years!
    ELG60, Roxbororob and Steadfast like this.
  11. Steadfast


    Sep 28, 2015
    Search Me
    ….when you get so angry when people don't know who Jaco was/is...…...that you snake a strand of barbedwire up one nostril and then out the other nostril and hook it to the towing ball on a F-350 and yell "roll the coal."
    TolerancEJ likes this.
  12. tedious1


    Feb 14, 2014
    When you first separate the offending left hand from either the keys, or the keys player.

    Dude, toddlers always prefer a Jazz neck...
  13. ...when no one knows who you are...

    nixdad and Jewce like this.
  14. Jewce


    Feb 23, 2018
    Santa Maria, CA
    When you're worried about how everything fits together in the song.

    When you can't hear yourself on stage.

    When you think the rhythm is the most important part of any song.

    When you spend as much (or more) on a set of new strings, as the guitarist spends all year.

    When your gear weighs as much as the rest of the band's combined.

    When you can't dance.

    When you always know what measure your on.

    When you noticed that the guitarists messed up.

    When you notice the speed changes.

    When you write almost every song.
    bound'n'blocked likes this.
  15. Backdrop

    Backdrop Supporting Member

    Feb 2, 2011
    Los Angeles
    When one hand has shorter nails than the other.
  16. You spend more time Talking Bass and Bass accessories than playing Bass.
  17. Johnny Crab

    Johnny Crab ACME,QSC,Fame/Hondo/Greco/HELIX user & BOSE Abuser

    Feb 11, 2004
    South Texas
    You have a playlist called "Bass_ISOs " on your mp3 player and on your computer at work.
    About 60% of them are songs you have to KNOW at band gigs, the others are for additional learning.
  18. Badwater


    Jan 12, 2017
    When people call you "Bass Man".
  19. You very rarely buy new clothes, because that decreases potential bass money.
  20. Copperhead

    Copperhead Formerly RED J. hey hey hey. Supporting Member

    Jul 29, 2018
    When your bandmates are under the delusion that the drummer keeps time and anchors the band.

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