You have FEMA's number on your speed dial. You have more than 300 "C" and "D" cells in your kitchen drawer. Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti-O's. You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows. WShen you describe your house to a potential buyer as "3BR, 2BA, 2GA, 1 Safe Hallway." You have your SSN on your forearm in Sharpie. You are delighted to pay "only" $3 a gallon for unleaded. The road to your house is designated a "No-Wake Zone". You decide your patio furniture actually looks better on the bottom of your pool. You have 2-liter coke bottles filled with water in your freezer. You catch a 13-lb redfish in your driveway. Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain, now you can assemble a portable generator in the dark with a Leatherman. You can recite your entire homeowner's policy from memory. You have eaten tuna fish more than 5 days in a row. Ice is a valid topic of conversation. Drive-thru meals consist of an MRE and a bottle of water. You spend more time on your roof than in your living room. You consider a 5" B/W TV an entertainment center. Having a tree in your living room doesn't necessarily mean it's Christmas. You know the difference between the "good side" and the "bad side" of the storm. Your kids start school in August and finish in July. You go to work early and stay two or three hours late just to enjoy the air conditioning. You consider the neighbor's dog "the OTHER white meat". You know it's Saturday because you changed your underwear this morning.