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You know you're becoming too old to play gigs when:

Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by Jazzdogg, Mar 1, 2008.

  1. Jazzdogg

    Jazzdogg Less barking, more wagging!

    Jul 29, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp

    2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

    3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.

    4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub

    5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist

    6. Instead of fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie

    7. You lost the directions to the gig

    8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings

    9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage

    10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.

    11. The waitress is your daughter

    12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers

    13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats

    14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your horn case

    15. You refuse to play without earplugs

    16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30

    17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig

    18. Your gig stool has a back

    19. You're related to at least one member in the band

    20. You don't let any one sit in

    21. You need a nap before the gig

    22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

    23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down

    24. You prefer a music stand with a light

    25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon

    26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever.....

    27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.

    28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.

    29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location ..

    30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days ... *and* could physically do it.
  2. (laughing uncontrollably)


    That was great!!
  3. NJL


    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    yeah, most applies to me.... and i'm only 31!! LOL

    great list!!
  4. Uncletoad


    May 6, 2003
    Columbus Ohio
    Proprietor Fifth Avenue Fret Shop. Technical Editor Bass Gear Magazine
    Oh sh*t.

    That's not funny.
  5. D McCartney

    D McCartney crosswind downwind bass

    Aug 1, 2005
    Tacoma WA
    31. You're adding FiberSure to your Near Beer.
  6. Jazzdogg

    Jazzdogg Less barking, more wagging!

    Jul 29, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I'm not going to say how many of these ring true for me; let's just say that it was a sufficient number to elicit smiles and groans, and to think some of you may feel the same way :cool:
  7. Don Higdon

    Don Higdon In Memoriam

    Dec 11, 1999
    Princeton Junction, NJ
    3, 4, 6, 8, 18, 20, 21, 24, 29

    + all the tunes you know were written before the audience was born

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