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You might be a racer if............

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Mike N, Feb 19, 2003.

  1. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2001
    Spencerport, New York
    > * You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
    > * You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or
    > check out cars.
    > * You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing
    > depth and the wear bars are showing.
    > * When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you
    > just saved.
    > * Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
    > * You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
    > * You bought a race car before buying a house.
    > * You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
    > * You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
    > * The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of
    > importance):
    > 1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
    > 2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28'
    > enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
    > 3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
    > 4) A grease pit.
    > 5) Deaf neighbors.
    > 6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property -
    > or -
    > hookups for the motor home.
    > * You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and
    > shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to
    > get
    > back from the machine shop.
    > * You have enough spare parts to build another car.
    > * More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets
    > you by name when you call.
    > * You think the last line of the Star Spangled banner is: "Racers
    > start your engines!"
    > * People know you by your class, car number, and car color.
    > * You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar
    > every other week or so.
    > * Your family brings the couch into the garage to spend time with you.
    > * A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic
    > or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
    > * You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.
    > * You always want to change something on your street car to make it
    > handle better.
    > * You've tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix
    > the air filter on her station wagon.
    > * You save broken car parts as "momentos".
    > * You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but
    > doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
    > * The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car
    > taped to their dashboard.
    > * Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.
    > * You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
    > * After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation she
    > answers: "Why...is there a race there?"
    > * You know at least three 1-800 numbers to aftermarket parts houses by
    > heart.
    > * You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop.
    > * You want to take apart and rebuild things, even though they are not
    > broken.
    > * You have the monetary equivalent of a lunar rocket invested in it,
    > but your car still won't cut a good light or run the number.
    > * You own a vehicle that has at least 500 horsepower more than when it
    > came out of Detroit.
    > * You look for hi-po cars in the movies and try to guess what engine
    > size, tire size, and whether or not it has nitrous in it.
    > * You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in a
    > traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five hours
    > in the
    > staging lanes.
    > * Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to tree
    > the guy in the other lane's eyes out.
    > * You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its
    > needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family,
    > then
    > you drive it like you stole it.
    > * You understand racing is a way of life, not just a means of
    > transportation.

  2. TxBass


    Jul 3, 2002
    Frisco, Texas
    (not meant as disrespectful to him)
    but...if you name your first born Dale, regardless if it's a boy or a girl.:D
    (by the way, I like the name...so no negativity here...)
  3. Chriss62


    Jul 24, 2000
    Austin, Texas

    Thats Great! Really great.:D
  4. jasonbraatz


    Oct 18, 2000
    Oakland, CA
    yup, i definitely fit a few of those criteria.
  5. Jeremy_X


    Jan 29, 2002
    right turns confuse you.

    ;) :D
  6. jasonbraatz


    Oct 18, 2000
    Oakland, CA

    everyone knows nascar isn't racing.
  7. surprising how well myself and my friends fit those descriptions. actually it's kinda sad:(
  8. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    I miss my old tires.... :( Stupid state inspections. :spit:

  9. my brother did exactly that while waiting for his motor to come back. And it was reallllly pathetic to watch. Funny though :p
  10. Dumfish


    Oct 6, 2001
    Santa Rosa, Ca
    All too true.

    I love my car.

    :rolleyes: ;)
  11. SoComSurfing

    SoComSurfing Mercedes Benz Superdome. S 127. R 22. S 12-13.

    Feb 15, 2002
    Mobile, Al
    Careful there! A statement like that may get you shot at in this part of the country! No matter how true it is!
  12. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    That's very cool!