1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to post, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
     
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

You might be a racer if............

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Mike N, Feb 19, 2003.


  1. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB

    Jan 28, 2001
    New York
    > * You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
    >
    > * You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or
    > check out cars.
    >
    > * You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing
    > depth and the wear bars are showing.
    >
    > * When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you
    > just saved.
    >
    > * Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
    >
    > * You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
    >
    > * You bought a race car before buying a house.
    >
    > * You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
    >
    > * You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
    >
    >
    > * The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of
    > importance):
    > 1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
    > 2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28'
    > enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
    > 3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
    > 4) A grease pit.
    > 5) Deaf neighbors.
    > 6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property -
    > or -
    > hookups for the motor home.
    >
    > * You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and
    > shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to
    > get
    > back from the machine shop.
    >
    > * You have enough spare parts to build another car.
    >
    > * More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets
    > you by name when you call.
    >
    > * You think the last line of the Star Spangled banner is: "Racers
    > start your engines!"
    >
    > * People know you by your class, car number, and car color.
    >
    > * You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar
    > every other week or so.
    >
    > * Your family brings the couch into the garage to spend time with you.
    >
    >
    > * A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic
    > or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
    >
    > * You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.
    >
    > * You always want to change something on your street car to make it
    > handle better.
    >
    > * You've tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix
    > the air filter on her station wagon.
    >
    > * You save broken car parts as "momentos".
    >
    > * You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but
    > doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
    >
    > * The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car
    > taped to their dashboard.
    >
    > * Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.
    >
    > * You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
    >
    > * After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation she
    > answers: "Why...is there a race there?"
    >
    > * You know at least three 1-800 numbers to aftermarket parts houses by
    > heart.
    >
    > * You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop.
    >
    >
    > * You want to take apart and rebuild things, even though they are not
    > broken.
    >
    > * You have the monetary equivalent of a lunar rocket invested in it,
    > but your car still won't cut a good light or run the number.
    >
    > * You own a vehicle that has at least 500 horsepower more than when it
    > came out of Detroit.
    >
    > * You look for hi-po cars in the movies and try to guess what engine
    > size, tire size, and whether or not it has nitrous in it.
    >
    > * You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in a
    > traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five hours
    > in the
    > staging lanes.
    >
    > * Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to tree
    > the guy in the other lane's eyes out.
    >
    > * You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its
    > needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family,
    > then
    > you drive it like you stole it.
    >
    > * You understand racing is a way of life, not just a means of
    > transportation.

    :D
     
  2. TxBass

    TxBass

    Jul 3, 2002
    Frisco, Texas
    (not meant as disrespectful to him)
    but...if you name your first born Dale, regardless if it's a boy or a girl.:D
    (by the way, I like the name...so no negativity here...)
     
  3. Chriss62

    Chriss62

    Jul 24, 2000
    Austin, Texas

    Thats Great! Really great.:D
     
  4. jasonbraatz

    jasonbraatz

    Oct 18, 2000
    Oakland, CA
    yup, i definitely fit a few of those criteria.
     
  5. Jeremy_X

    Jeremy_X

    Jan 29, 2002
    right turns confuse you.

    ;) :D
     
  6. jasonbraatz

    jasonbraatz

    Oct 18, 2000
    Oakland, CA

    everyone knows nascar isn't racing.
     
  7. surprising how well myself and my friends fit those descriptions. actually it's kinda sad:(
     
  8. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    I miss my old tires.... :( Stupid state inspections. :spit:
     



  9. my brother did exactly that while waiting for his motor to come back. And it was reallllly pathetic to watch. Funny though :p
     
  10. Dumfish

    Dumfish

    Oct 6, 2001
    Santa Rosa, Ca
    All too true.

    I love my car.

    :rolleyes: ;)
     
  11. SoComSurfing

    SoComSurfing Mercedes Benz Superdome. S 127. R 22. S 12-13.

    Feb 15, 2002
    Mobile, Al
    Careful there! A statement like that may get you shot at in this part of the country! No matter how true it is!
     
  12. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    That's very cool!