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Your good friends' horrible band wants to play shows with you...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by MattS, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. MattS


    Jan 17, 2011
    Cheshire, CT
    A good buddy of mine is a drummer and he recently emailed me about getting his band some shows with my band; basically he said "we just started booking more after our recording, if you have any open slots that we can hop on, let us know and I will do the same", i think he already has a show he wants my band to play on in a month or two. Normally I'm all for it, I very much like shows with mixed genres. So I checked out his band and... sad to say, it is horrible, they literally sound like this typical Creed-like vocals, some slap bass, and Nickelback stuff in there too. Not my cup o tea at all.
    I guess I feel kinda bad because I just don't know how to respond. I've known the guy since high school, he's a very good drummer, I can't/shouldn't ignore it, I/my band will play with pretty much any band any where, but I am just not comfortable promoting and pretending to like a band (I just can't pretend to like a band) for the sake of a show nor do I want to risk analyzing it all with him and possibly hurting someone's feelings or offending someone, don't want to be put in that position... if that makes sense.
    Has anyone else here been in a similar situation? If so, how did you go about it? How did you respond? If the sound of your friends band literally hurts your ears, what do you do? Any/all advice is greatly appreciated.
  2. pklima

    pklima Commercial User

    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Karoryfer Samples
    Might it be your fans' cup of tea, though? Might what you do be their fans' cup of tea? If those two things are kinda true and they'll bring in a decent amount of people, it might be worth it.

    If those two things are false, "I like you but I think your fans would be bored to death by us and vice versa" might be the best way to say no without making it personal.
  3. kr0n


    Feb 4, 2009
    That video reminds me of South Park for some reason...

  4. animvl


    Feb 25, 2007
    You never know who's going to make a name for themselves. For example, the aforementioned Creed and Nickelback. Be nice and supportive to everyone and if they are ever in a position to really help you out, they might remember you. Good advice I got from a guest lecturer at uni.

    ...I wouldn't gig with them too much though, you wouldn't want to be associated with them.

    That being said, a guy I knew offered a "gig swap" between my old band - progressive and instrumental - and his pop/dance band with autotuned vocals and a mac laptop. I did not accept such an offer.
  5. lowendgenerator


    Mar 26, 2006
    Whether you like it or not, it's a chance to get some exposure for your band. I share bills with horse**** bands all the time, I'm happy to get up there and show them how it's done.
  6. Joe Murray

    Joe Murray

    May 14, 2008
    Fairfax, VA
    No disrespect intended, but you're kind of being a jerk with your attitude about this situation. Maybe your buddy isn't fond of your music either, but he wants to play a show with his old friend's band anyway.

    I don't see any negatives from playing with different bands, while trying to establish a cross over following with their fans/friends.

    Just something to think about.
  7. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    You have to be honest. Sometimes honesty will hurt someone's feelings.

    Please disregard those on this thread who are embarrassing themselves.

    Don't be involved in putting anything on any stage that you are not 100% behind.
  8. pklima

    pklima Commercial User

    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Karoryfer Samples
    Well, I actually do have a friend with a Nickelbackish band. As long as his drummer swears to NOT BE SO DAMN LOUD and they play the most commercial stuff in their setlist I'd be OK with it.
  9. lowendgenerator


    Mar 26, 2006
    I think you have it wrong friend, he's not being asked to play IN a crap band, just share a bill WITH a crap band. If we all refused to play with bands we didn't like, we wouldn't get very many gigs, now would we?
  10. JehuJava

    JehuJava Bass Frequency Technician

    Oct 15, 2002
    Oakland, CA
  11. tdub0199


    Mar 4, 2010
    Atlanta, Ga.
    my band has shared the stage with quite a few "Friends Bands" wether we liked their music or not... I think you need to keep an open mind and help the friend out, you never know, their music could take off well before yours does and you may need help one day..... true friends don't come along too often these days....
  12. animvl


    Feb 25, 2007
    I admire your idealism, but that's not how the world works unfortunately.
  13. MattyH


    Jul 20, 2010
    Long Island
    Creed shreds
  14. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011

    He's not talking about just walking in and playing a gig where there is some crap band booked. He is talking about helping a crap band get bookings, and affiliating himself with something he doesn't stand behind.

    That's a compromise you simply DON'T make.

    There will always be plenty of gigs. You get your band sounding as good as you can; you promote as much as you can; you make a lot of phone calls; you PERSIST, and there will be gigs.

    No need to compromise on quality just to "be nice."

    HE already HAS gigs. His FRIEND is asking HIM to throw him a bone. I would not throw that bone.

    How can I have it wrong? That is my OPINION.

    I am only posting how I would do it.

    You are posting how YOU would do it.

    Neither of us are wrong, for ourselves.

    Both of us are wrong, for each other.
  15. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I've been playing out since the late seventies.
  16. Curmei


    Dec 29, 2008
    This has always been a personal, or band-to-band, decision on my experience. I handled the booking for many years when I played out regularly, and I was always happy to play with anyone. If I was friendly with the band, that was even better - oftentimes, crowds for one band would stay for the others just because the bands got along and were supportive of each other.

    However, I have also had bands that I have really liked be honest about disliking my band, when I brought up the idea of sharing bills. This never bothered me, and I appreciated the honesty.

    There were some great shows that we were able to put together that put a wide spectrum of music on a single bill. Even if I wasn't a fan of a specific act, I always enjoyed seeing/hearing the differences from one band to the next.

    Of course, there were also times that things didn't quite go that well... Our band was always a bit of an outsider, sound-wise, and I remember that we got put on a bill with Feces Pieces. I thought that I might get shanked when we got off the stage - that was how much their crowd disliked us. Another time, we played with REO Speedealer, who I loved. The folks who came to see them were definitely not into us, and the band members from Speedealer, though we all got along personally, definitely weren't digging what we were doing.

    But, those bad times were heavily outweighed by the good shows that came together through diversity.

    Some people have very strong feelings about who they want to associate with, or who they want to support. There is nothing wrong with that, either. We can only do what we are comfortable doing, I think.

    Good luck, however it goes. If he is a friend, I wouldn't let this get in the way of continuing the friendship. Worst case, you could try it, and if it doesn't go well, use that as an excuse to not continue doing it.
  17. Put it to a band vote.
  18. I can't listen to your link right now, but I too would like to know whether you simply think the music is garbage, or if they can't play their instruments and/or they sound terrible.

    I've brought other bands on that we're friends with for gigs we're doing, and if I'm iffy about their music or the reaction the crowd will have to it, I'll make sure they play in between 2 known-good bands. One band we played with was in a different genre and literally emptied the place out, but I scheduled a really good band before and after them, and we played after that. People left for 30 minutes, came back, we had a great show overall and we got to help out another band (and get a little bit of good karma, which never hurts ;)).

    I will say my experience with booking "friend" bands has been when I'm booking all of the bands for a particular show that my band is headlining, and we dictate the order the bands play in. If a venue owner/promoter asked me to recommend an additional band for a show he/she is arranging, I'd probably only recommend a band that I knew would be a good fit.
  19. Well, no offense intended, but this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

    First, just because you get a slot for another band does not mean you are the ambassador for that band. You're only arranging an opportunity for them to perform. You won't be inextricably linked to the band, especially since your band is far superior. Booking agents probably don't always like the bands they book. It's a business arrangement, you don't have to be a fan.

    Secondly, you can keep everything I just said to yourself. You don't need to tip your hand about how your friend's band is horrible in your opinion. I mean, he is your friend, right?

    Since they have offered you slots on their bills when and if the opportunity arises, I would keep the emotion and personal opinion out of it. It's a "yes" or "no" proposition. You either want to work with this other band, or you don't. Either way, no details about why or why not are necessary.
  20. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    If they cant play, but you still want to throw them a bone and hook them up with a gig, be sure that your band plays BEFORE them, so they cant run your crowd out of the venue.

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