Your parents were right, music IS a waste of time

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by pklima, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. pklima


    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    I spent years doing this music thing, kept at it long enough to release a big vinyl box set, tour Transylvania, play a Britney Spears song in a packed symphony concert hall, play in a salt mine 100 meters underground not once but twice, sing lead on a cover of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy", get reviewed in a Russian edition of Men's Health etc.

    Then last week I spent about an hour frying bacon and melting chocolate to pour over that bacon. That got me more attention from women and made me feel more like a star than over two decades of music ever did.


    Damit. I don't even like chocolate.

    So, what else is better than music?
  2. waynobass

    waynobass Supporting Member

    Feb 27, 2008
    All foodies should be marooned on a desert island where the only things to eat are seaweed and sand.
  3. P Town

    P Town

    Dec 7, 2011
    Bacon will kill you quicker than rock, and roll.
  4. It's chocolate and bacon. Of course they're gonna love that. It's science.
  5. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Banned Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    The question is does bacon and chocolate pay the bills? If it does, then go for it!
  6. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    Bacon fat is the best treatment for ebony fingerboards.

    Oh sorry, wrong thread, that was for the musical misinformation thread. :bag:
  7. BigOkie


    Nov 28, 2010
    Oklahoma City
    It was while standing in line to take a whiz at Lilith Fair in 1999 that I realized there was more money to be made in managing portable toilets than continuing to play bass in a Skynard tribute band. Today my company proudly supplies porta-potties to art festivals, renaissance fairs, and Star Trek conventions throughout eastern South Dakota. Our motto: "Your Sh@t Is Our Bread and Butter".
  8. pklima


    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Exactly. Why did it take me so long to figure this out, though?
  9. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    Chicks dig scientists.

    Bass players ... not so much. :)
  10. bkbirge


    Jun 25, 2000
    Houston, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake
    Please tell us you were playing in that Skynard cover band *at* the Lilith fair. I'd love to hear how that went over, lol. :hyper:
  11. I'm a bass player and a scientist, so is that why my ex's are bipolar?:D
  12. GKon

    GKon Supporting Member, Boom-Chicka-Boom

    Feb 17, 2013
    Queens, NY
    I'm moving to Poland.
  13. yodedude2

    yodedude2 Supporting Member

    this does not make sense to me. what language is this? google translator was no help at all.
  14. So melting chocolate and pouring it on bacon makes someone a "foodie?"
  15. bass12

    bass12 And Grace, too Supporting Member

    Jun 8, 2008
    Montreal, Canada
    Bacon was once more intelligent than the average person. :atoz:
  16. :-D
  17. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2008
    Huntington WV
    To quote the estimable Glenn Reynolds,

    "Bacon. Is there nothing it can't do?"
  18. SactoBass

    SactoBass There are some who call me.......Sactobass

    Jul 8, 2009
    Sacramento California
    I hate to be the one to say this, but, it still is. :meh:
  19. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2008
    Huntington WV's the start of a syllogism which I find appealing, somehow.

    The major premise is something along the lines of this:

    If tequila makes her clothes fall off, then chocolate-covered bacon makes...
  20. fnordlyone

    fnordlyone Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2013
    south Louisiana
    her clothes cling unsightly to her morbidly obese figure.