OK, so here we go…Sorry, it’s a long rant/story. I have been in many bands over the years, some just jam bands, and some that have recorded multiple albums & gigged regularly, I however have never been in a band where there is this much angst & drama… A little about the band, we are a 4 piece (drums, bass, guitar & vox). We play original music that is a toss up between metal & rock. We are all 40+ with the drummer being 50+. Here’s what we have going on…. Problem #1 The drummer & I would like to add a second rhythm guitarist to help fill in the songs when the lead player goes off wanking. We first talked with the singer about our thoughts, and he was “on board” with the idea, and suggested we have a band meeting to hash out the concept & details. Said meeting happed, and the current guitar player couldn’t have been more against the concept, in fact he seemed down right offended that we’d even suggest such a thing, and to make matters worse, suddenly the singer wasn’t “on board” with the idea anymore either (singer & guitarist are long time friends)…Plus we rehearse at the guitarists house, so just bringing somebody over is impossible, and in my opinion, poor taste. I voiced my concerns, and was abruptly blown off…I swallowed my pride, and pushed forward. Problem #2 The drummer has repeatedly voiced his want to do songs that were more peppy & upbeat, I asked him to give some examples of what he was thinking…HELLO HAIR BANDS! Well, that is just NOT going to happen, I have no interest in that type/style nor does any other member of the band..so we shot him down, he swallowed his pride and pushed forward. Problem #3 The singer & guitarist are the primary song writers, the drummer & I obviously write our own parts, then we help with the final arrangements etc. The biggest problem is that when I toss out an idea for a verse or chorus etc. the guitarist starts with my concept, but by the time he’s done with it, it doesn’t even resemble the initial concept…I point that out, and I’m told “it sounds/works better this way”…well I guess that’s that then huh? Pride swallowed…moving on…Note: See Problem #1...I believe a second guitarist could bring new life into an otherwise stale writing situation. Problem #4 The singer has in the past, struggled with alcohol abuse, he’s worked hard to get it under control, but recently it’s been a problem again, he shows up buzzed and has a few beers with him, he often sounds awful…I try to point it out, as politely as I can (in private) but he doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem, the drummer has the same concern, yet our guitarist doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem. I’m more concerned about him as a friend, than a band mate…I don’t want to see him go down this road again, but I can’t really force him to change…all I can do if offer support should he ever need me. To sum it all up…I really like all of these guys on a personal level, and each one is truly a master of their respective crafts, however it seems that all we ever do is agree to disagree, and I believe it only results in sub par songs & wounded feelings. I believe the writing is on the wall for me, and it’s time to leave before I start breeding animosity towards any of these guys, and while I still have time to salvage any friendships… For those of you that have been in similar situations, what are your thoughts? Is this band irrevocably damaged? Or can it be saved? If so, how does one go about it?