The Character of Your Bass

Fender Standard Black Jazz Bass(1998)..best bass in all the world.

 

Warwick Thumb Bass Pro Series - the guy with a fast car, thick lats, good wage, bunch of cool mates, nice apartment....but always out done by the guy with the Lambo, CEO wage, Luxury appartments, drinks top shelf all day and snorts charlie off 5 star resort toilet seats (germans warwicks)

 

2001 Fender Jazz Bass Standard: the war veteran who's been at war for so long that they don't recognize themselves anymore as part of the normal society. Battle scars, wounds, etc.

2003 Fender MIM precision bass: The woman who freaks out if even a 0.0001mm of her fingernail gets chipped off. Very demanding that she be played more than my jazz...

 

Never used to name my instruments but, a little while ago, I started doing it. Must've been really bored, I s'pose. Elle, named after the stunning Elle Macpherson, is a Bass of Doom - got to be Elle because, respectfully, her nick-name was, at least for a time, The Body - therefore the B.O.D(Y) - The Babe of Doom… And this bass is true to name; sleek, curvacious, articulate and smooth, lustrous, wild, dreamy and so natural - a true blue, classic beauty. I'd marry Elle, if I could. My wife wouldn't mind in the slightest.

 

My EB-3 copy is the old guy that's been through it all, is dependable and fun.
My SR500F is the new hotshot, who is also dependable and fun.

 

I imagine that I am a wizard casting spells with my bass that has been imbued with the soul of an ancient dragon. He is very friendly but tends to intimidate others.

 

Fernandes Revolver: Kind of a uptight guy, loud and always in a hurry. Wears black leather, chain smokes, and drinks straight whiskey. Tries to be a bad-ass to hide how smart he really is.

MIJ Squier Precision: Has unfounded self-esteem issues. Quiet and tends to blend into the background, but competent and dependable. Nicest guy you'll ever meet. Great boyfriend material but women ignore him.

EBMM Stingray Classic 4: Highly educated, sophisticated guy, everything about him just oozes class. Good paying job, wakes up at 4:30 am everyday to work out. Handsome and a good dresser. Appreciates the arts, but can still hold his own in a fist-fight. He'll take his date to the ballet on Saturday night, then to the most expensive restaurant in town and order her meal in perfectly fluent French. After his date leaves on Sunday morning he'll have the guys over to watch the game with more beer and wings than you could ever eat. Makes everyone feel like a million bucks, even the MIJ Squier.

MIM Fender Precision: Just your ordinary, every day guy. Works a day job then goes home and watches TV. Hangs out at the bar on Saturday night trying to get lucky.

 

Frankenjazz - MIJ body with noiseless pickups with an MIM cabronita neck and an MIA standard pickguard - confused about it's origin but happy nonetheless. Wishes I could play it better.

 

Mine are all bunch of lyin', cheatin' floozies.

I play a lot of country music.

Riis

 

Rickenbacker 4003 Ruby Red: This bass just looks down it's nose at the lesser basses in the room.

Fender Precision MIA: Doesn't care what the Ric thinks, cuz it knows it's awesome.

Fender Jazz MIM: Secretly wishes it has the same pedigree as its MIA cousin, but is fine with the amount of attention it gets from it's owner.

Squier VM Jazz: Has slight inferiority complex, cuz the Ric gives him attitude. This bass needs constant assurance that it's loved too. Feels much better after receiving a tort pick guard.

1977 SD Curlee: The wise old owl of the group. He's traveled the world and seen many gigs in his day. Has a been there, done that attitude. Now semi-retired. Has slight health issues.

Some of my basses are currently in Group Therapy

 

My Fender Custom Shop Jazz Bass is like the honey badger.

 

Fender Kingman Acoustic: Your ex that you're still inexplicably friends with. They're kind of a pain now, but you did have some good times together...and you don't want to get rid of them because you might need them someday.

Ibanez SR600: Your first love; effortless to be with, and it's always ridiculously awesome to spend time with them. Everything just feels right. Your friends think you can do better, but you don't agree. You know they have some quirks, and they're definitely not perfect, but you love them nonetheless.

Gretsch G5442BDC: That one short guy who overcompensates by becoming ridiculously jacked.

 

That's just awesome.

 

The Jazz-- old school class

The Ibanez -- sleek, fast, young and brash

The Rick -- royalty, though not everyone cares

The MusicMan -- muscular and knows it's stronger than rest, though a little gruff

The Squiers -- the cheap mistresses. You can use 'em and not worry about being delicate

The Franken fretless -- a mongrel with mysetry

The Hofner -- the playful kid. Can't play with the big boys but a lot of fun

The P -- the elder statesman

 

My precisions: like the "stay-at-home" defensemen in hockey. The Willie Mitchells of basses if you will. Rock solid, tough and dependable. Not too fast but they get the job done every time.

 

The Peavey T40....

Old-timer who's been around the block more times than you can count.
Plenty of war stories, and all the battle scars to prove it.
Ain't as good as it once was, but it's as good once a night onstage as it ever was.
Reminds you of your retired uncle who used to be an offensive lineman.
Constantly fighting a weight problem, but wears it well.
Bipolar.....every time it moves its tone knobs, it slides from single coil to humbucking.
Don't even ask about the phase toggle.
Has a closet full of the same color pickguards......BLACK.
Confident that he'll never be supplanted by an AVRI....at least as long as Hartley Peavey is still alive!

 

2013 Precision V -walked in like he's owned the place for nearly 50 years. Settled right in and got down to business. Very much a gentleman and patiently waits his turn to go to work. Does an awesome job without breaking a sweat.

2000 MIM fretless Jazz V - constantly nagging me how much effort and trouble I went to on converting him from fretted to fretless (keeps ranting about how the process "felt like teeth being pulled", WTH??...). Not to mention bitching about being left in the dark for days on end. But does his job nicely when he ("FINALLY", as he puts it) gets the opportunity to work

1998 EBMM Stingray V - couldn't have put it any better than this:

"Highly educated, sophisticated guy, everything about him just oozes class. Good paying job, wakes up at 4:30 am everyday to work out. Handsome and a good dresser. Appreciates the arts, but can still hold his own in a fist-fight. He'll take his date to the ballet on Saturday night, then to the most expensive restaurant in town and order her meal in perfectly fluent French. After his date leaves on Sunday morning he'll have the guys over to watch the game with more beer and wings than you could ever eat. Makes everyone feel like a million bucks, even the MIJ Squier" (thanx, Monster Truck)

Not to mention showing appreciation for being my first-choice bass!

 

Fender P5 with flats. Joe lunchbox, but a mountain of a man who isn't afraid to get his point across.

 

CS 64 J - Mr. Smooth, suave like Ricardo Montalban...
Am. Std. Jazz - the new kid on the block and aspires to be like Mr. Smooth....
MIM P bass - the blue collar worker, solid, gets the job done...and the bass that got me started on my bass journey