• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Kids...

AuG

AuG

May 22, 2005
1,442
0
41
Fort Collins, CO
#1
So what's your tolerance for little ones?

I recently became engaged to my girlfriend who has twin 2 year old girls. I love 'em to pieces but the "terrible twos" are really starting to rear their ugly heads. Constant whining, crying for mama and papa, hitting, etc. Sure it comes with the responsibility, but sometimes I want to pull my hair out of my scalp. :rolleyes:

i'm sure there's some guys out there with more than their fair share of two year old tantrum stories, so feel free to share advice, ideas, anything you might think could help a guy out that jumped into the deep end of the pool and is doggy paddling. :smug:

Good to see some familiar faces around, and some new ones too. I've been really busy lately but I'll try to stop in and say hi once in a while.
 
#2
Care, compassion, etc. are absolutely necessary in all dealings, but wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too many parents these days are lacking in discipline and a spine to stand behind their decisions. Worst of all is when a parent is undermined by another (or even worse, by an authority figure that's NOT a parent.)

When I had tantrums, I also had my ass smacked. Public? So what. Smacked ass, suck it up.
 
#4
AuG said:
So what's your tolerance for little ones?

I recently became engaged to my girlfriend who has twin 2 year old girls. I love 'em to pieces but the "terrible twos" are really starting to rear their ugly heads. Constant whining, crying for mama and papa, hitting, etc. Sure it comes with the responsibility, but sometimes I want to pull my hair out of my scalp. :rolleyes:

i'm sure there's some guys out there with more than their fair share of two year old tantrum stories, so feel free to share advice, ideas, anything you might think could help a guy out that jumped into the deep end of the pool and is doggy paddling. :smug:

Good to see some familiar faces around, and some new ones too. I've been really busy lately but I'll try to stop in and say hi once in a while.
Click to expand...

whoa I just checked your profile your only 22 that's really early good luck. I know I'm only a teenager but to discipline kids just don't give in that's a sign of weakness.
 
#6
I have a two year old. I love every single minute with her, including her little temper tantrums, crying and everything else.

One thing I've noticed is that people who don't have kids (and even many that do) is that they forget what age and maturity level children are at, and they think of them as little people who should behave like adults.

Two year olds cry and whine because at that age, it's all they know to get their point across. It's not like you can sit down with them and have a deep philosophical discussion about behavior with them.

If you were hungry, needed your diaper changed, were in pain, etc. you'd just use words to tell someone. Two year olds just do what they can to let you know. Don't take it as them doing something you don't like...it's nothing personal.

Love them with everything you have, comfort them, protect them, read to them, and care for them because they rely on you for everything. You are their world. Remember that.
 
#11
I have 3 kids ages 4, 2, and 8mo. There is no easy way to deal with them. Do not be fooled into thinking they are rational and unselfish, they are VERY selfish and VERY irrational. The only way to get through to them is consistency and calmness. They know how to manipulate and they know how to push your buttons.

If it seems like they are trying to piss you off they are. They love to get a reaction out of you because it means they have power, they love cause and effect (flipping switches, turning knobs, etc) and getting an effect out of you is temporary gratification for them, don't let them effect you. Also don't rationalize with them too much, explain what they did wrong and what the punishment is and when it is over let it go, forgive and forget, if not they will argue with you and you lose all control once the argument starts.

Read this book

512MJP0C7YL._BO2,204,203,200_PIlitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg


It helped us a lot.
 
#13
jady said:
...they are VERY selfish and VERY irrational. The only way to get through to them is consistency and calmness.
Click to expand...

So true. But we are all selfish beings deep down. It's just that older one gets, the more creative one is in getting what you want. ;)

They are just exploring their world and it's still all quite new to them. And yes, they will try to get attention from you in any way they can. Even negative attention is better than none.

I'm finding that the more attention you pay to them, and the more nurturing you are to them, the less they act up and "misbehave" to get attention, because they will already be getting the right kind of attention.
 
#16
Sundogue said:
I have a two year old. I love every single minute with her, including her little temper tantrums, crying and everything else.

One thing I've noticed is that people who don't have kids (and even many that do) is that they forget what age and maturity level children are at, and they think of them as little people who should behave like adults.

Two year olds cry and whine because at that age, it's all they know to get their point across. It's not like you can sit down with them and have a deep philosophical discussion about behavior with them.

If you were hungry, needed your diaper changed, were in pain, etc. you'd just use words to tell someone. Two year olds just do what they can to let you know. Don't take it as them doing something you don't like...it's nothing personal.

Love them with everything you have, comfort them, protect them, read to them, and care for them because they rely on you for everything. You are their world. Remember that.
Click to expand...


Thanks Sundogue that helps me out a lot. I've noticed that I tend to think that they are little adults and understand everything I try to tell them. Rationalizing is not very effective and I feel like anything I say isn't getting through at all. My fiance was reading over my shoulder, and when she saw the book you posted said she heard a lot about how effective it is. We'll check it out for sure.

Poop Loops- I think she's going to hunt you down in Washington and shake the hell out of you. I tried to explain how you are but it didn't go so well. :D

Edit: Sorry Jady you posted that book!
 
#17
Sundogue said:
I have a two year old. I love every single minute with her, including her little temper tantrums, crying and everything else.

One thing I've noticed is that people who don't have kids (and even many that do) is that they forget what age and maturity level children are at, and they think of them as little people who should behave like adults.

Two year olds cry and whine because at that age, it's all they know to get their point across. It's not like you can sit down with them and have a deep philosophical discussion about behavior with them.

If you were hungry, needed your diaper changed, were in pain, etc. you'd just use words to tell someone. Two year olds just do what they can to let you know. Don't take it as them doing something you don't like...it's nothing personal.

Love them with everything you have, comfort them, protect them, read to them, and care for them because they rely on you for everything. You are their world. Remember that.
Click to expand...


I'm here to say what Sundogue said.
Except it's a he for me.
 
#18
I have a two year old son, plus I am a certified teacher (5 year university degree in how to teach and give guidance to children).

There are two keys to good child rearing:

1. Consequences - they have to know that there are both GOOD and BAD consequences depending on their behaviour. If they are pulling a hissy fit they should know in advance what the consequences for that behaviour will be. The parent MUST follow thru with the consequence. If not, the child will take control.

2. Self-esteem - the key to a child's success in life. Whenever possible build up their self-confidence. A person with enough self-confidence can reach their potential and will have a better life. Its the best thing you can do for your child. Also, they wont be as likely to succumb to peer pressure because they have enough confidence in themselves to be secure in who they are and make their own decisions.

Kids are awesome. But they are a huge responsibility and alot of work. Being a teacher is one of the best jobs there is, IMO, because your "co-workers" are kids. They are truly a pleausre to be around and yes, sometimes they require discipline.
 
#20
In most education circles, corporal punishment is a big no-no. It makes children fear their parents. I know many people ascribe to this sort of punishment, but children and their parents will form a stronger bond if hitting is not involved in their relationship. You can just as effectively punish a child without resorting to being violent with them. It may take more effort on the parent's part but the result is well worth it.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back