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<rant> My Father...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by UnsungZeros, Jul 29, 2005.

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  1. Jul 29, 2005 #21
    AaronS

    AaronS Guest

    Apr 18, 2001
    Beautiful Western Colorado
    To me, you seem to be presenting this pretty well, so I am assuming that the problem is your father's and not your's. Giving him time to cool off is probably a good idea. It works for adults just like "time out" works for little kids. Whatever the problem is, he may not want to share it with you, or perhaps it's something that should not be shared with you. But you deserve better treatment. Since this is unusual behavior for him, he will probably calm down and try to get back on good terms with you soon. Whatever it is, you can't be the parent and solve it for him. I would just give him space and time and be ready to make up as soon as he is.
     
  2. Jul 29, 2005 #22
    Steve

    Steve

    Aug 10, 2001
    seems so..if he focused on leaving time..and you say he's under some work pressure..maybe HE needed or wanted to get to work a little early and maybe having to take you to work is what is causing him pressure...he wouldn't want to burden you with that...probably. That hauling you was causing HIM problems at the office...I might approach him from that angle..once he cooled off. Try to cut him a little slack. It definatly wasn't cool but...it ain't easy being grown up.

    Being grown up is not for kids.
     
  3. Jul 30, 2005 #23
    LiquidMidnight

    LiquidMidnight

    Dec 25, 2000
    + 1

    When growing up, I had many friends who would often get into physical altercations with their parents. I actually cannot fathom that. I can't really even remember having a shouting match with my parents.

    A lot of social workers have their work cut out for them.
     
  4. Jul 30, 2005 #24
    AaronS

    AaronS Guest

    Apr 18, 2001
    Beautiful Western Colorado
    Hey UnsungZeros! Let us know how things are going. You've awakened our concern.
     
  5. Jul 30, 2005 #25
    UnsungZeros

    UnsungZeros The only winning move is not to play.

    Nov 5, 2003
    Gainesville/Ft. Lauderdale, FL
    He's giving me the cold shoulder and dirty looks, so he's still a bit upset. I plan to lay low and out of his way until he calms down.
     
  6. Jul 30, 2005 #26
    GetLow

    GetLow Guest

    May 31, 2005
    Orlando/Coral Springs, Fl

    good idea.
    just let us know how this all works out in the end. unless the outcome is something you'd rather not talk about...
     
  7. Jul 30, 2005 #27
    steveksux

    steveksux

    Mar 23, 2005
    Detroit area, Troy, MI
    yeah, no point talking about it until you can do it calmly. It will just turn into another argument and make things worse.

    Sounds like there's more to the story, either something is going on putting pressure on him that he's taking out on you, or you're doing something (maybe unintentionally) that set him off. Waiting for cool then talking non-confrontationally is the best option.

    Good luck.

    Randy
     
  8. Aug 1, 2005 #28
    MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Smart young laddy you are. It will blow over. Your father is a grown man, there is nothing you can do at this point in his life to make him handle his anger/frustrations/feelings differently.

    Him pushing you into the wall sounds kind of scary. Hopefully it won't get physical in the future. Putting him in a headlock, telling him to not talk to you that way, trying to stand up to him when he is like that will just make it worse. At some point he will calm down, probably when the thing making him so sad/angry/helpless/frustrated goes away. That will be your chance to let him know you felt scared/sad/unloved. Some people will criticize my idea of doing this, saying that only empowers people knowing they can make you feel that way. I just find that when I approach someone and say "When you did such-and-such to me, I felt sad", I get a lot further than saying "Don't ever talk to me like that again, or I'm going to get pissed off".

    -Mike
     
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