Recently I have been given an opportunity to sit in with a band. It's been a while since I've done this, but my thinking is one maybe two songs. Of course it depends on what the band is cool with, but barring that I figure that's reasonable. The bass player and singer/guitarist both work with my wife, so I know them. Any thoughts?
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
"Sitting in" etiquette
- Thread starter MonetBass
- Start date
Ask beforehand, as it's different depending on the people and venue. I've done anything from one song to an entire set.
Listen. Focus on timing more than anything. Try to figure out what you guys are going to play before hand. Have fun.
Yeah, we will definitely agree on the songs before the gig so I can practice them. It's their gig, so I don't want to make them look bad. My plan was to suggest two or three songs and then let the bass player tell me what songs I can play on. The one I have in mind I have played at one time or another, so it will simply be a matter of polishing them up. It will definitely be a blast, so having fun is a given. Thanks for the input! 
When I sit in, or have someone sit in when my band is playing, I expect it to be for 2 or so songs. I make sure to have good eye contact with the bassist who's band I'm sitting in with after each number. If I get any indication that the bass player wants back on stage, I get on off. Some want to return to stage quickly, others enjoy taking as much as an entire set off to concentrate on carousing, but I'm always ready to yield the rig.
When I'm out on a job, I usually bring an extra-fine bass and a less precious bass as backup. I only let players I know use my "extra fine" instruments!
When I'm out on a job, I usually bring an extra-fine bass and a less precious bass as backup. I only let players I know use my "extra fine" instruments!
I try to keep a low profile in these cases.
Being asked to join is an honor.
Asking to join is a shameful act.
Being asked to join is an honor.
Asking to join is a shameful act.
I like the one or two tunes and get out while the gettin's good. My drummer and I agreed to sit in for a couple of tunes with a band we are very familiar with and they ended up making us play the whole third set! It was fun, but I was there to support the band and have a few drinks.
All good advice. I tend to "follow" unless called on to "lead" a given tune or tunes. So I hang in the groove, just supporting the rhythm. Sometimes I'm spotlighted, then I "step up" but not be a "hog" and step back down as soon as possible. "Get the honor, do the honor" is the idea. A gracious host deserves a gracious guest. Get it?
Josh
Josh
Oh yeah, I'm definitely with you there. It is very cool for them to offer. When I have sat in with a band in the past, it was for a couple of songs and then I stepped off. That's very cool, everyone had fun, and the crowd enjoyed it. That's all I care about. And yeah, I know to hang back and follow the band since I don't want to throw a wrench in their show.
And I would be bringing my own bass, mainly because he uses a Schecter 5-string, and I'm a 4-string 19mm kind of guy.
Plus he doesn't have to worry about his bass (not that anything would likely happen, but you never know).I'm with Jazz Ad on this. I can't abide people who ask to join someone else's show. I've never been asked to sit in, but it would be a profound compliment. While I would love to do it, I would respectfully decline at first, but it wouldn't take much of a push to get me to agree.
It sounds like these are some good guys, so go for it! Have fun! Leave it entirely in there hands as to what and how long you'll play, and smile the whole time you're up there. They'll be glad they asked the right guy.
knarleybass
Commercial User
My rules for sitting in:
When I see a band:
I never ever ask to sit in!
I always say no, but if they as a second time I go up and play.
I will only play one or two songs.
When it's my band:
No Strangers come up and play.
To be honest I don't like the whole sit in thing, when I see a band I want to see the band and not their friends, also when I am playing I like to be up there doing the playing.
When I see a band:
I never ever ask to sit in!
I always say no, but if they as a second time I go up and play.
I will only play one or two songs.
When it's my band:
No Strangers come up and play.
To be honest I don't like the whole sit in thing, when I see a band I want to see the band and not their friends, also when I am playing I like to be up there doing the playing.
Heck I don't even like putting my name on a list at jams!
Only did it once for a blues jam hosted by a society I wasn't in.... every other jam the bass player would spy me and motion for me to get my tail up there so they could take a break LOL.
The only time I ever sat in a band situation was when the bass player wanted to try the drummers drumset.... drummer knew me and mentioned I played bass-next thing I know I'm getting handed a *beautiful* 5 string. We did one song and everyone was happy ... I was a tad bit nervous with a complete strangers bass in my hands.
If I knew the song, and they really really asked me to, I'd get up and play. But......I'd rather not.......if I'm going to play, I want to play!!! Not one or two songs (two songs is customary sit in around here)...... but, since they really want you to... go for it! maybe you'll get a gig out of it?
Only did it once for a blues jam hosted by a society I wasn't in.... every other jam the bass player would spy me and motion for me to get my tail up there so they could take a break LOL.
The only time I ever sat in a band situation was when the bass player wanted to try the drummers drumset.... drummer knew me and mentioned I played bass-next thing I know I'm getting handed a *beautiful* 5 string
. We did one song and everyone was happy ... I was a tad bit nervous with a complete strangers bass in my hands.If I knew the song, and they really really asked me to, I'd get up and play. But......I'd rather not.......if I'm going to play, I want to play!!! Not one or two songs (two songs is customary sit in around here)...... but, since they really want you to... go for it! maybe you'll get a gig out of it?
butchblack
Life is short. Do good. Find and do what you love.
Yeah, I agree with the don't ask part. If asked, and I'm comfortable with what they're doing, I'll accept. I'll do a couple tunes max unless it's a band I've played with or subbed for, Then if the want me to I might sit in a bit longer
K.I.S.S.
keep it simple stupid... I always have to remind myself, and it works. I enjoy the challenge of sitting in and hope to leave a good impression.
go for it
keep it simple stupid... I always have to remind myself, and it works. I enjoy the challenge of sitting in and hope to leave a good impression.
go for it
Note: when I said "ask beforehand", I meant "ask how long you are sitting in for before you plug in". The question was how long to stay up, not whether or not the person was going to sit in in the first place. 
K.I.S.S.
keep it simple stupid... I always have to remind myself, and it works. I enjoy the challenge of sitting in and hope to leave a good impression.
go for it
Yup. Best advice in the world! Especially when playing with a drummer other than your own.
I had the honor of getting asked once, by a really fine band that tours Europe and has backed up Gregg Allman. A few of the guys from our band had driven to a nearby city to see them play.
Our band has a superb young guitarist. They had learned of him from their manager, and they wanted him up there for a couple of blues numbers. After getting him up on stage and talking with him for a couple of minutes, they called out to see if his bassist was in the house. I waived them off a couple of times, but they insisted that he have his own bassist for his numbers, so I went up. The tunes were standards, and the bassist for the featured band was ten light years ahead of me, so I took it as an honor and a very nice courtesy. I think they were mostly wanting to make the young guitarist feel more comfortable in strange surroundings by having me nearby.
I played my two, thanked them profusely, stayed for the rest of the show, and then thanked the bassist again. I even helped him load out some of his gear.
So, I go along with the 'treat it as an honor and don't abuse it' crowd.
Our band has a superb young guitarist. They had learned of him from their manager, and they wanted him up there for a couple of blues numbers. After getting him up on stage and talking with him for a couple of minutes, they called out to see if his bassist was in the house. I waived them off a couple of times, but they insisted that he have his own bassist for his numbers, so I went up. The tunes were standards, and the bassist for the featured band was ten light years ahead of me, so I took it as an honor and a very nice courtesy. I think they were mostly wanting to make the young guitarist feel more comfortable in strange surroundings by having me nearby.
I played my two, thanked them profusely, stayed for the rest of the show, and then thanked the bassist again. I even helped him load out some of his gear.
So, I go along with the 'treat it as an honor and don't abuse it' crowd.
