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Why do ducks have webbed feet?
- Thread starter SuperDuck
- Start date
Mark Wilson
Supporting Member
Compared to most of what I've seen in OT lately, this reads like ****ing Hemingway.
A duck walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers... like a telephone... on his wing and talking into it.
The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The duck says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my wing because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The duck dials up a number and places his wing near the bartender. The bartender talks into the wing and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender... "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the duck, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, my girlfriend, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room.
The duck goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the duck spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his arse.
"Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The duck turns and says: "No, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."
The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The duck says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my wing because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The duck dials up a number and places his wing near the bartender. The bartender talks into the wing and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender... "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the duck, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, my girlfriend, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room.
The duck goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the duck spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his arse.
"Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The duck turns and says: "No, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."
bongomania
Commercial User
A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. "I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!
Ok. I made up a joke last night and I'm going to run it by you guys.
"I've heard that you've had sexual relations with bedroom furniture."
"It was just a one night stand."
Get it!? NIGHT STAND! ahahaha.
Hilarious.
"I've heard that you've had sexual relations with bedroom furniture."
"It was just a one night stand."
Get it!? NIGHT STAND! ahahaha.
Hilarious.
A guy walks into a bar and asks for two martinis extra dry. Bartender pours him the drinks and the guy downs them one after the other and asks for two more. Bartender gives him a funny look, shrugs and pours him two more. Once again guy downs the martinis one after the other and asks for two more. The amazed bartender finally asks, "What's the occasion son?". Guy replies, "I just had my first BJ". Bartender says "Well congratulations. That's a very memorable occasion but you can celebrate it in better ways than downing martinis".
"Oh I know that, but if these don't get the taste out of my mouth then nothing will".
"Oh I know that, but if these don't get the taste out of my mouth then nothing will".
A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. When they get up to leave they're extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man turns around and slurs, "Don't be silly, that's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"
bongomania
Commercial User
