Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
25 Golden Rules for Bands
- Thread starter twistdpair
- Start date
I wouldn't call it off for a cold sore or a tummy ache. Its gotta be something serious - like puking her guts out or a broken arm or whoknowswhat (And part of that is if she is puking, I'm very, very likely going to be puking my guts out very shortly... and who wants to play while puking your guts out? I'm sure there are plenty of folks who would be like "BAH! I've played while puking my guts out! In fact I had a wireless kit so I could sit on the can and finish the set!)
So far - I've never missed a booked gig, and I've only called off a scheduled practice once. I'd like to think that practice was a damn good reason - a pipe burst and my basement was flooding so for some reason, I decided it was more important to fix that than to practice with the guys.
You should reevaluate things if you put your band before your family.
I suppose I'll get flamed down for that.
Note: Not everybody likes their family, so this may not apply to you. To each their own.
Balancing band and family is tricky. I missed some football games and wrestling matches and track meets, with my son, and I regret that. Didn't miss all of them, but often, I was the only family member willing to show up, so he felt it when I wasn't there. But I was there every time I was able to.
When my kids have things that are important to them, I try to reschedule rehearsals. Sometimes, it just can't be helped...I can't skip that gig, the band can't get a sub, the school event or whatever came up last-minute. The kids understand those situations. If they know I am making the effort to be there for them, they cut me slack when I can't.
My husband is very supportive. If a child is too sick, he'll take over if I need to play, and vice-versa. If it can't be worked out, the band that can get the sub that night dictates the parent that stays home.
's the way it goes.
Cherie
The rules make it fun for me. My time is VERY valuable with my 3 month old daughter. I'm not spending hours preparing, loading in, setting up, just to get to practice and fart around while the rest of the members relearn tunes, take phone calls from their cat, and make out with the singer in the corner.
and why is that? Because you don't think you need rules? That everyone should do whatever they please?
Like it or not, a SUCCESSFUL band is the product of a partnership between the members.
Partners have responsibilities towards each other.
And you can't assume everyone knows what's expected of them. People come from way too different backgrounds to just "know" what they should or should not do in order to be a responsible partner in any endeavor, including a band.
The one thing that breaks up bands more than any other is NOT having rules. NOT coming to an understanding of everyone's responsibilities. People get pissed off because they think someone is not playing by the rules, but they never sat down and discussed what the rules were!
Case in point, my last band:
1. I was told that decisions were made "as a band". Then 8 months later I was told by the drummer that, no, it was HIS band and while "the rest of yizz can figure out da set lists", he made all the big decisions - gigs and personnel. Funny, I told them in the beginning that I was interested in being an employee. This is my hobby, not my job.
2. The drummer was the only one who didn't practice and pretty much refused to learn new songs. He came unprepared and sorta half-@ssed it through cover tunes, trying to do it from some long-ago memory or literally sitting there at practice, putting it on the stereo and listening to it once. Nuances were not gathered, pacing would be erratic, mistakes were constant. Unless HE suggested the tune, then he had it down cold. Usually with songs he didn't like, he half-@ssed it so much that eventually we dropped it because it sounded bad.
3. the diva was in general a nice person. I liked her. I'm sorry our friendship ended over all this. BUT she had a diva complex. She showed up to gigs after we set up and left usually before we broke down. Rarely did I see her help out. Usually the excuse was that she had a baby. but her husband refused to let her go to a gig without her so he wouldn't stay home with the kids. So they were at the in-laws. But I have kids too and I didn't like getting home at 3 am either, but geez, I always stayed until the last item was loaded. Everyone should help out, even if you are a girl.
4. The guitarist and the drummer were either half-drunk or fully drunk at both rehersals and gigs, much to the detriment of both.
I think the basic list of 25 is outstanding. If I ever join another band, I would probably bring it with me and find out to what extent these are valid or not.Too many times after being asked into a band, it was all smiles and words of assurance, but 6 months in, you find out what's really going on. I never bothered to ask how things were done and was shocked when I found out. The above is a case in point. I joined too quick, assuming that all the smiles and assurances in the beginning were the reality. They weren't. It became clear why they had gone through so many members in 3 years. Of course, it was always the people that left or had been fired -- their fault. Not these folks. THere was a red flag and I missed it.
My current band? Inclusive, professional, methodical, respectful of each other, communicates well (we even hold conference calls when we need to discuss something midweek). Everyone shows up on time and prepared. Everyone helps out. Result? An incredibly popular band in the area and playing only good places, large places and well paying gigs.
The other band? Still playing the same tunes and the same 2 bars in rotation -- one of which would be hard pressed to even hold one football team. Surprising? Not really. I don't wish them ill. I just think if they took it a bit more seriously, they could be something more than they are.
Scared of rules? Be scared of NO rules!
In my bands we have one rule. Let's go have fun and kick some A$$. At the average age of 40+ we leave the kindergarden crap for someone else. Been playing with these guys for 16+ years and not once have we ever had a fight or argument. Gotta love it. No egos for us we all suck equally. 
can't and wont' say. I got burned here in the past by posting personal info about my band. Sorry.
yup. You never know who here is a jerk-off, or wants your spot in the band, or some of your own band members may look in.
Right? I don't go to rehearsal so that I can either deal with someone else's drama, or just sit around partying. I came to rehearse our music. I have a family and a home, and friends, and if practice is just a bunch of drama and wanking off, man, I have other stuff I can where I can actually make progress.
Cherie
By public forum, do you mean Talkbass? I love reading about band drama!
Although it's probably not wise to post it here lest other and members get wind of it.
We pretty much follow all those rules. I like tZer's idea of yes before no. That's a good one. Will remember that.
I've a few to add to it.
1. Listen.
(A lot of the stuff we play is jammed out and improvised in sections). Don't get wrapped up running through crap you practice so your heads down and you're just working through what your playing. Songs and music is dynamic. Sometimes what might start as an flub can take the groove to a cool place. Only play to what you hear.
2. Always play to make it the best it can be.
A lot of times guys will wank every opportunity they can. More of a guitarist, and keyboardist thing, actually, but same applies to bass. Sometimes all the song calls for a run of roots on the quarter notes, OR less.
3. It has to be unanimous.
If someone isn't feeling a song, even though it's on the set list. It can be vetoed. No questions asked.
4. Don't start a conversation with other players during the jam.
(This was our last singer. Clump right in there during our guitarist's solo, or in the middle of the groove).
5. The whole goal of playing is to get the chicks to shake their boobies.
When the chicks are out there shaking their tatas EVERYONE is happy.
I've a few to add to it.
1. Listen.
(A lot of the stuff we play is jammed out and improvised in sections). Don't get wrapped up running through crap you practice so your heads down and you're just working through what your playing. Songs and music is dynamic. Sometimes what might start as an flub can take the groove to a cool place. Only play to what you hear.
2. Always play to make it the best it can be.
A lot of times guys will wank every opportunity they can. More of a guitarist, and keyboardist thing, actually, but same applies to bass. Sometimes all the song calls for a run of roots on the quarter notes, OR less.
3. It has to be unanimous.
If someone isn't feeling a song, even though it's on the set list. It can be vetoed. No questions asked.
4. Don't start a conversation with other players during the jam.
(This was our last singer. Clump right in there during our guitarist's solo, or in the middle of the groove).
5. The whole goal of playing is to get the chicks to shake their boobies.
When the chicks are out there shaking their tatas EVERYONE is happy.
+10000000000000 I'm usually/always the one who says 'next song' at rehearsal just to keep it moving- with 8 ppl in the band- it's HARD to actually get everyone together for a practise anyway-the LAST thing I wanna be doing is wasting that time!!!!!!!
Then I get the rep of being a NAZI-simply coz I'm trying to get things done!
:scowl:
we tour with original rock music, sooooo....i have to add:::
promote!
promote!
promote!
every band you play with is your favorite band!
with my situation image is way important...you have to try not to look like someone kids at your show would see in the halls at school.
promote!
promote!
promote!
every band you play with is your favorite band!
with my situation image is way important...you have to try not to look like someone kids at your show would see in the halls at school.
the one rule i can definatly follow:
No girlfriend/wife interference.
reason: i'm single
and loving it
one rule i can't follow:
Always be honest with each other. Communicate.
Reason: Our Guitard is so touchy, he can't even take the slightest critesizm(wrong spelling) if you say somthing like "i think that you're *insert technique* needs improving a little, it just sound a little bit sloppy" he goes into a big strop and throws his guitar on the floor to which me and the keyboardist just get anoyed at him.
he also has the worlds worst guitar but won't admit it the pick ups are really bad quality, the shapes to common and dodgy, even when we tell him that he goes in a strop all the time like were always picking on his but were always giving each other constructive critesizm on how to improve and insulting our instrument (the keyboardists keyboard is rubbish, we've already pushed it past it's limit and my basses have either dodgy scale length (35" what were they thinking (fretted bass)) or no indication where you are on the fretboard(fretless bass)).
he just goes on about it like were saying that were the god's of music and he's a low life even though we are far from being the god's of music but he's the only one who can't take advise
No girlfriend/wife interference.
reason: i'm single
and loving itone rule i can't follow:
Always be honest with each other. Communicate.
Reason: Our Guitard is so touchy, he can't even take the slightest critesizm(wrong spelling) if you say somthing like "i think that you're *insert technique* needs improving a little, it just sound a little bit sloppy" he goes into a big strop and throws his guitar on the floor to which me and the keyboardist just get anoyed at him.
he also has the worlds worst guitar but won't admit it the pick ups are really bad quality, the shapes to common and dodgy, even when we tell him that he goes in a strop all the time like were always picking on his but were always giving each other constructive critesizm on how to improve and insulting our instrument (the keyboardists keyboard is rubbish, we've already pushed it past it's limit and my basses have either dodgy scale length (35" what were they thinking (fretted bass)) or no indication where you are on the fretboard(fretless bass)).
he just goes on about it like were saying that were the god's of music and he's a low life even though we are far from being the god's of music but he's the only one who can't take advise
Picking on a guy's axe is not constructive criticism.....unless you have an idea how to improve it and are willing to help. Sometimes you have what you have.....and that's all you can do at the moment.
As far as the "dress code" tell it to AC/DC or Lemmy.
As long as the band plays good no one will give a crap what you look like. Sure old cut off sweats are not good but clean clothes that look decent are fine....like jeans and shirts. Not evry band wants to be POISON.
As far as the "dress code" tell it to AC/DC or Lemmy.
As long as the band plays good no one will give a crap what you look like. Sure old cut off sweats are not good but clean clothes that look decent are fine....like jeans and shirts. Not evry band wants to be POISON.
Yikes, besides some stroke trying to take your place, what other pitfalls are out there when you post band info on this sight?
(sorry to hijack, but it is vaguely relevant as it could be an additional "rule" ---> Don't post band-info on public forums.)
(sorry to hijack, but it is vaguely relevant as it could be an additional "rule" ---> Don't post band-info on public forums.)
I disagree. We bring people to our rehearsals as much as we can. No more than 1-2, though. They are told some rules: 'You are here to watch us, hear the music and see what a rehearsal is like. So do not interfere'.
It works really well. We get a lot of feedback, we get used to playing in front of other people, they take a close look on instruments and equipment, and are invited to play some notes, even if they don't know how to (everyone wants to play the drums
I too have to say that we are young people in a young band (I am 20, the others are 18), but (thanks to the drummer) we know a lot of older bands. They give us very useful advices, but most importantly, seeing them makes us very aware of what not to do.
It sounds really good...and IF I was lucky enough to know a couple people that I respected enough (and vice versa), we understood musical tastes/goals, and they respected the rules, I can see where it would be cool. GOOD LUCK on finding that and making it work. As I said, the people would essentially be the band's TOOL to getting better. You're investing a lot in their point-of-view. I truthfully trust my own opinion musically ahead of "non-band/musican" types.
NOTE: That being said, I wouldn't be averse to a KNOWN player sitting in and LISTENING, with the common etiquette rules in place (sit down, grab a cold one, and tell us what ya think after we're done rehearsing). I think rehearsing is WORK, and I treat it as such.
