A bad weekend for me & my band.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by vegaas, Mar 22, 2004.

  1. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    Hey guys, I need to vent.
    First the back story
    My band just recently found out our drummer is leaving, not a big deal. He agreed to do all shows until we find a replacement. Very cool on his part.
    We have a big show coming up on April 2nd. We have been getting ready for this show for a couple of months, and doing smaller shows to help in the preperation.
    Our singer has become a bit of a prima donna. She has become very difficult to work with. Our plan was to get through the April 2nd show, let our drummer be on his way and then tell our singer to either become a bit more accomodating or to its time to move on.
    Ok, on to Saturday night. We have a gig in a small little run down bar. We were supposed to open for another band. At the last minute the other band asks us to switch with them and let them go on first. No problem.
    Well, the place is dead. Maybe 3 people in the bar. So of course, the other bands doesnt go on at 9 when they are supposed. They go on 10:15. We finally get on stage about 11:30.
    I was feeling sick that day. All I really did was sleep, didnt eat a thing. I get to the show feeling a bit better, but; made the mistake of drinking a couple of beers. Well, they hit me hard, I will never let that happen again. Anyway, the show kind of sucked. We never got a sound check, there seemed to be a bad vibe on stage. Ok, I think, everyone has a bad gig at some point and time. This was ours, we will learn from it and not let it happen again.
    I get an email from our guitar player. Our singer is quiting the band and not doing the April 2nd show, which is just two weeks away and what we all have been working for! Now we have to contact the bar and tell them we cant play. They only have two weeks for find a replacement! This is a pretty happening place and our chances of ever getting booked there again have taken a serious hit.
    The singers reasons are this.
    1) We dont showcase her voice enough. She complained that the instruments were too loud and that the drums shouldnt have been miked. This is funny for two reasons, A) The drums WERE NOT miked! B) The bouncer at the bar told us after the show that THE SINGER was TOO LOUD!
    2) She accuses me of being on coke at the show. Her reasons? There were alot of men and women going in and out of the mens room at the bar, and I went into the mens room twice before we went on stage, and that she saw it in my eyes on stage.
    Ok, well, I dont do coke. When I was 21 I almost OD'ed on the stuff and have never touched again. Also I was drinking beer which makes you have to go to the bathroom, so were else was I supposed to go? As for what she saw in my eyes? Well, that would be a combination of beer, being sick, and frustration of having a bad night.

    Now I know that the beer thing will come up. Just a couple of points, I have been gigging and drinking beer for the past fifteen years. I have never had a problem before. It is not like I a drank a twelve pack, it was 4 to 5 at most. That being said, I will never let that happen again. If I am feeling under the weather or havent eaten anything, then no beer for me.

    Thanks for letting me vent. I am really ticked off about the whole thing right now.

    P.S. This is kind of a gig story, kind of band managment, so I wasnt sure which forum to post it in.
  2. What bar was it?

    Sounds like the singer wants to have a scapegoat for a bad turnout and a bad show. All the better reason to move on. Where's the Apr 2nd show?
  3. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    The name of the bar was Mac's Red Eye. Its on North Richards, just off of Capitol.
    The April 2nd show was supposed to be at the Drs. Office. Its a smaller place in West Allis, but always has tons of people there. It is definitly one the places for rock bands to play.
  4. A friend of mine used to do an open jam at that place off Capitol. I drove by and decided against it, but I've heard the owner is really cool. A bit too far north for my taste. :D

    The Dr. Office is cool, but I haven't been there since it moved. All those little places around 60th/Hawley/Greenfield/National are fun- in moderation.

    Were you a regular at the Rock Shop?
  5. Squidfinger

    Squidfinger I wish I could sing like Rick Danko.

    Jan 7, 2004
    Shreveport LA
    I'm just now finding how hard this band thing is. While I genuinely try to be open to everybody's opinion, my lead guitarist is a true a egomaniac who refuses to follow, EVER. This makes practice very stale. The rhythm guitarist is almost never there and the jury's still out on our drummer. Oh, we're a metal band, but I hate alot of the metal they like and they hate alot of the metal I like. Funny thing is through the lead guitarist I met his neighbor (guitarist) and we hit it right off. We like alot of the same stuff. Only problem is he already has a bassist.

    What did this have to do with this thread? nothing :bag:
  6. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX

    *flips a coin*

    Eh. Off to band managment.
  7. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    I used to go to the Rock Shop, but never had the opportunity to play there before it burnt down. I believe it was only open for 6 months. Rumor is that JD is going to open up another place after everything with the insurance clears up. I hope so, that was a very cool place.
    As for our now former singer. I believe you are right, she needed a scapegoat and she can never find fault with herself. I think she had a feeling a confrontation was coming, just because of the disagreements that have happened over the past couple of months.
    Just to give you a taste of her LSS (Lead Singer Syndrome), she just sent me an email in response to the email I sent her after I found out about everhting. In the email I indicated that I thought it was immature of her not to fulfill her commitments. I told her the right way to do it was to play the April 2nd show and then leave. I told her I always liked her and that I too was immature at her age. I then closed by telling her that I do wish her the best of luck in the future.
    Here is what she posted in closing of the response she emailed me.

    <i>"ps) You ruined your chances of ever getting to do music with me, because I
    am an accomplished singer- and you will live to regret that!"</i>

  8. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Wait, so you'll regret she's an accomplished singer?


  9. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    Yeah, I do regret that she thinks she is an accomplished singer. Lets see, her accomplishments add up to........, wait, I am sure something will come to me. Hmmm, oh I got it, her accomplishment is thinking she is accomplished singer, so she can justify acting like gods gift to music.
    In all fairness, she did have a good voice, but so do alot of other people. It was her attitude that sucked. The weird part was that she was great up until two months ago. Then all the ego started coming out. Oh well, she will be someone else's problem now.
  10. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    eh, you find a better one. Sorry about the missed gig though.
  11. Rock Shop was 5 months. It was a good place to play, mostly because of Brian Miller- best stage sound in town. There's going to be a benefit for him at Points East on the 28th.


    Lead singer syndrome- gotta love it. I'm sure she'll be highly accomplished singing in the shower with that attitude.
  12. g4string

    g4string Supporting Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Melissa, TX
    I am not trying to be sexist, but this is another reason I dont have a female in the band. I had a similar experience with a female singer in R&B/Blues band. NTM, it seems that unwanted sexual realtionships always seem to start once a feamale is introduced into the band. I know I am going to get flamed for this, but hey it is my opinion. If I need a female, I hire her for the gig and pay her what she is worth.
  13. FLSD. FEMALE Lead Singer Syndrome, must be ten times worse than the norm.
  14. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    I won't say what I think that girlie needs.
  15. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    She's a real pro in the company of pros.
  16. ^^ that guy knows what hes talkin about. boy do i know some girls that need that done.... :meh:
  17. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    If you can believe it, things have gotten even uglier.
    At our website we have a message board. Both the guitar and myself posted messages that there has been changes in the band and that we wish our singer the best of luck in her future endeavors.
    Well, someone else posted who was at the show Saturday night. In their post, they mention that our singer seemed a bit unfriendly and that there didnt seem to be any chemistry on stage.
    Of course our singer was convinced we posted this message, which we did not, and insisted that we remove any post that mentions her, as well as remove all pictures of her, or she would sue. Well, our guitar player manages the site, his uncle just passed away this weekend, so he was pretty busy Monday and Tuesday with family commitments for the funeral. Our singer and her parents knew this, but harressed our guitar player so much that he had to take his phone off the hook and block their email address's. They gave no consideration at all as to what he and his family were going through. Luckily our guitar player is level headed guy and has removed all traces of our former singer from the site, including all messages from the message board. He wants our band to appear as professional as possible in all this. Again, lucky that he is handling this, because my temper would not have allowed me to handle the situation that way. As soon as they threatened legal action, I would have started posted all types of comments about our former singer, just to force their hand.
    Its all very strange, even though there was a confrontation coming, I didnt think anyone truely disliked anyone else in the band. Come to find out, our former singer hates us all.
  18. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    I know you know this, but the best thing you can do is put it all behind you and move on. Lunatics like that take care of themselves quickly enough. Her reputation will grow with time, as ugly as it is, and she will reap what she's sown. Of course, if the opportunity for some type of entertaining revenge were to present itself.... :D
  19. MikeBass

    MikeBass Supporting Member

    Nov 4, 2003
    Ferndale MI.
    Artist: Xotic Basses/AccuGroove
    Ahhh.....The singer is always right problem.
    I was in a band that had this problem once, it started after I stopped f@&king her.

    And it was a shame, she was FINE!!!! Couldn't sing all that well, but we would get booked just on her looks alone.

    I shouldn't say that, she was an ok singer, she just thought she was the cats ass.

    When I left the band (because of her ego) I reminded her in front of the rest of the band about.......nevermind....I'll just say it got ugly, and I didn't start it.
  20. natrab


    Dec 9, 2003
    Bay Area, CA
    Singers in general have this problem. The reason is singing is much more subjective than instruments with a defined tone. I know for one that I hear a different voice in my head than other people hear. Not being a true "singer" though I recorded myself to see how it really sounds. After a couple lessons I found that my best voice comes from one that sounds god aweful in my head. I still know I'm nothing special.

    Most singers will never take the time to think this way. This is, in fact, one of their guiding rituals. "Never look at yourself from the outside." That rule of thumb for singers leads to problems like the one mentioned originally in this post. Most singers will rarely admit when they are wrong and from the looks of it this girl has serious immaturity issues beyond the normal singer stereotype.

    When I say "most singers" I'm referring to most people who *think* they can sing. There is a whole other echelon of professional singers who are great people and true musicians.

    The best way to deal with the crazy ones is to ignore them.

    My random disorganized 2 cents.